Ok just got a pretty decent nights sleep, feeling a bit better this morning. I have to work yet today and I have a couple of days off. Also am about 26 hours away from having my daughter for a couple of days.
I was thinking about how to better organize my time. Seems like I never have enough. I am either working, sleeping or have my daughter. When I do have some time I spend alot of it right here. One of the goals I am setting for myself is to make some friends. Since I have lived here (5 years) I havent made any close friends. I need to work on that, it would be nice to have a buddy (male) to just hang out with sometimes.
Anyhow off to work now. You all have a nice Sunday!
ND, great short-term goal for yourself! Do you have any ideas on how to/where to meet some friends?
And you have a great Sunday as well. j.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Me: 45 - WAH: 36 S8; D6 M: 11 yrs 07/06 Initial Bomb 10/06; D Bomb 11/06 - DBing begun 1/5/07 - H moved out 03/16/07 To date: No papers filed; H not seen a L; trying to convince me to MUTUALLY file for D
Ok I have the next 2 1/2 days off. I got off work tonight came home got in swim suit and went and jumped in the lake!!! Ahhhhhh
I was mentally working on my goals. Here is the rough outline of them:
Work on more GAL activities. Quit smoking. Eat healthier. Excersize. Develop friendships....like I said earlier, I at first will be looking just for male friendships, just a buddy to do things with.
Get more involved in my community. Become more financially responsible.
As far as my broken marriage goes.......
By working towards the previous goals will help me work towards marriage goals, (Getting a life)
I will be positive with her. Try to get her to relax around me. Maybe even smile.
I will make the most of the time I do have with her when we exchange daughter.
I will be the best daddy I can be to my daughter.
I will give my wife the space she requests. Do my very best to not apply any sort of pressure on her.
In addition for myself. Boundrys I am setting I guess. For the time being, I will let the "situation" be. I have decided to do my very best to be patient with this situation for the rest of this year..... At which time I will sit down and re evalute where this all is. I will need by that time to see some sort of positive steps to reconnecting by then, or it may be time to just move on.
I also am reserving the right if I do find positive proof that she is "carrying on" with OM (Positive proof would be her saying this to me) to also re evalute my position.
In thinking today, probably some of this is negative. But I also came up with everything that she said to me as a reason for our seperation, I could have easily thrown right back at her. Meaning yes our marriage was/is a shambles. I could have easily been the walk away here, but I have choosen then and now and all along to stay and try to fight for our marriage. This may sound somewhat rightous but I do feel as if I am on the moral high ground here.
"You were never there for me" I was there, she just choose not to see it.
"We never did anything together" We did do things together, but these were the things that she wanted to do. If it was something I wanted to do, 95% of the time it was shot down. IE Visiting with a member of her family at least 2 times a week. Yet it was like a major ordeal to get her to visit my brother on Christmas. Forget about the rest of my family.........
I could go on and on.........and I know I sound like I am bitching, but I am also coming to the realization that a lot of this situation was not just me, but us. and the way we interacted (didnt?) She didnt get her way and pout, I would get mad and withdraw, she would get mad and push me away further, and round and round.
Yet, I am still here. I am still willing to somehow try to figure away out of this mess. I still think it is possible for us to have a better marriage than we ever had before. I will be patient, I will work for it. I will give it time. I will remain faithful. But in time I will need to see ...........something, a glimmer, anything from her........
I am pretty comfortable with all of these thoughts.
Well any moment she should be dropping off our girl. Going to keep on a happy face even though I dont feel to good this morning. Got this sinus headache with a tinge of a hangover going on. Definatly plan to tread lightly. Hope you guys have a good day!
Well hey hey........I smelled a little baby step in the interaction I had with wife 15 minutes ago. She brought over a copy of dental insurance card for me that she got in the mail. Chatted briefly about the wedding. She was fairly upbeat, explained to me how to put on daughters dance lesson outfit. Kinda gave me a little smile as she said, "and the tights go on first" was like please dress our daughter right so she dont look stupid. I actually appreciate her telling me this, cuz I didnt have a clue, lol.
Also got from our daughter that she and wife left the wedding reception and went home together. Hmmmmmmmmm
All and all I feel pretty good about this interaction.
I understand your frustrations in realizing that you are not the sole cause of the breakdown of your marriage. The problem is that your W is going to have to figure that out for herself (you can't tell her) and it may take a long time before she is ready to face that. That is why it is good, in the mean time, to focus on you and your D, GAL, make your life what you want it to be, and it sound like you already have a plan for doing that. I am glad you are ready to be patient, work hard and stand up for your marriage.
Have a great time w/ your D. Good luck w/ the dance outfit!
I just responded to a newbie. It amazes me to how there are at least 2 or 3 "new arrivals" each day. Also amazing to me is the mental state of these first posts. I see myself in them, and also realize as to how far I have already come. How, yeah my sitch, still is, and still sucks, but I can live. Can have some bright moments in my day, how I can even let it go for a time and not "live" the pain of it 24/7 now.
Ha Ha, last night after I posted about how I intend on being patient. How I am going to stand up and be faithful. I decided to go out for a bit. Walked down to the bar 3 blocks away. I was put to the test a little bit. A fairly intoxicated female comes over starts talking to me and more than causully brushes up against me...... ohhhh, for the moment I was tempted. But did think it through, and yeah for 5 minutes (gimme a break here its been awhile, lol) it would have been fun. But the guilt and all the other crap afterward would have definatly not been worth it.
So anyhow, I am feeling pretty good today. Need to motivate my daughter to come to bank and the store with me before dance lessons, and I am not that motivated myself right now......
Yup swashy I still got it. I have the ability to attract not so attractive, middle aged fairly intoxicated women!! Wooo hoo gonna start me a harem.......though I may have to find me a wholesale liquor outlet to keep up with the overhead......he he
