I see your point nom about me not filing & bringing this on myself. I guess if I leave things be then i'll be here until she decides to file etc...However, I will still be here in this house until the end of the year as it takes atleast that long for everything to go through the home sale system here in the UK. I can at anytime during this period stop the sale.
Ok. That makes sense. And if you file for D, can you at any time stop that process if you want to? Over here, you can in some states but not in others. Just an FYI.
Nomo
PS - Is my floor ready yet?
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Strange, Bro, I just checked in on you, Sorry things went from bad to worse, I know the feeling all to well, I just want to lend you my support, and say that it sounds like Nomo is right on with everything he has said, I Thank God we didn't own our house, that would be a total nightmare. I know that you are a strong person and I know that you will do the right thing.
I don't think that WAS's really don't understand the all the ramifications of when they drag their personal problems into the legal system, Course if they had any sense they wouldn't do it, but you know them, they are always so sure and headstrong. Just wait till that bubble bursts and a cold dose of reality hits them right smack dab in the face, it comes in more ways than one, it might come financially, emotionally, or physically, but believe me it will come.
Take good care of yourself, and Hey, if it comes to it, Mom's or as you might say Mum's LOL, couch is better than the cold street, right? Make the best of your sitch, and you can't go wrong, I know that you have, and I know that you will continue to do so. Peace to you on this journey. Take care.
Do you see how strong we can be when giving good advice to others? So know this too, you have alot of that strenght in yourself.
Originally Posted By: Handful of Rain
Just wait till that bubble bursts and a cold dose of reality hits them right smack dab in the face, it comes in more ways than one, it might come financially, emotionally, or physically, but believe me it will come.
You know what I think the reality is hitting her. More so on the financial front, she's starting to see that it's not so easy as walking away. This however does not change much, it just makes her change her plan a little in her favour lol...
I am quite certain that she is not living with OM, it's not really important to me at this stage. But again the reality of the new life & dream guy may not look so cool close up...I don't know, this is just my current thoughts..
Oh and LOL about the MUM bit...it is true we do call our Mothers MUM
Thanks for dropping in & I will try to catch up on your thread mate
Well I broke some DB'ing rule tonight, but then i'm no longer trying to DB anymore so I guess it dont count...Anyway, I had to find out if W has in fact moved in with OM. I did this because it effects how I will handle this sitch with selling my home. She has moved in & that puts a different angle on things. I was going to sell this house & we would split the equity. That of course will still happen in time but I will not help it to happen. I now feel like W & OM are trying to stich me up.
It is true that there are outstanding debts to be paid, but the money that I offerd her would have sorted that out & I would still have an home to live in.
Through out all this mess I have been very carm, friendly & polite...I was going to file because it's what she wanted & I was going to sell this house for the same reasons I was also going to accept what ever reasons if she filed against me..Now, why should I? I'm going to tell her that If she can do this to me & see me with no home then I'm staying here until the court forces sale during the divorce. The divorce is not happening anytime soon because I won't file & she has no grounds to file agaist me...She is looking at 5 long years of seperation, then she can file & I have no say in that at all...
with no grounds it is five years? lol, oh god my vindictive side is coming out. i shouldn't encourage, but that is funny. in my state, if there are kids and the couple agrees, as fast as you can agree and get a judge's signature it is done.
sorry to hear about the house. i know the mum's couch bit, i've done enough to end up on that one and others. well, take some time and really think through your financial sitch on the house and do what is best for you, even if it helps or hurts her, you have to watch out for yourself.
I was starting to think that she had her own place & was finding things a little tuff, thats why I was going forward with the sale of the house. But to be living with OM in his home is another matter. My concern has to be for my own future & not hers & that really does pain me to say that.
Yes it's true about 5 years of seperation...These are the options for divorce un the UK..
* Adultery (she wants me to file for this)
* Unreasonable behaviour (She could file for this but non would be true, her lawer as advised her on this)
* You have been separated for two years or more and both of you agree a divorce.
* You have been 'deserted' for 2 years (this is very complex and best not used if you have any other ground)
* You have been separated for 5 years or more.. The LBS then has no say at all.
Hi again Strange, Just popped over to see how things are, Man these things get more complex as we go, You know my current sitch with my DD11 being treated the way she has, and now that I have had to take an action, I am also wondering how can I DB, now? The want is there, but now so many obstacles are in the way, it will be very hard.
But if ultimately it is up to you, whether you can stand the storms, if you can love her, even when she hurts you. You have to ask yourself the question Is it/she worth it, anymore? The answer will can only come from you. I know that you are tired and weary of not seeing any results from her, and seeing more pain, but as you know time is on your side. In time you will make the right decision for yourself, whether to keep DBing or just let it go and find a new love. I know myself, that even though I want to be with my W, I still need to learn from this experience, before I can be with anyone. In time I will make my decision, whether to give up on her or not, but I have decided to never give up on me. I think you have made that decision too. Take care, Bro.
