Yes, Strange, Bro, it is hard to hold them, and then let them go, you feel like that is the last time you will ever have that special moment, I know that feeling all too well, I live it, a lot. But the facts are the facts, you have to let them go, they have to find their way, I know how hard it is to watch them stumble and fall, as I have told you, my W has allowed the OM, to completely get her in over her head in medical bills, and debts, that she will never be able to crawl back out, I mean he only pays for the car, that he drives, but her name is on it, their car insurance (which I only believe he pays hers, because she gets a break, because she is over 25, and he is not) and their cellphones, (which he only wants her to have to most likely keep tabs on her) We know that they have gotten themselves in this mess, and unfortunately, they have managed to dragged us down with them, (as I told you, I am financial ruin, right now) Now someone tell me again how great D is? Maybe for the blood sucking lawyers, they are the only ones who really benefit off of it.
But even though we have to go down the tubes while we watch them go as well, we have to remember somehow, someday we will survive it all, maybe with them, maybe without, but only God knows that one. Just continue to be strong, and hold on to hope, and faith, you know my W told me yesterday, I don't want to give you false hope, and I said to her, how can hope be false? Hope and faith comes from God, and to Him nothing is impossible, so what is the logic in that? I myself, for some stupid reason have been thinking about the holidays, Christmas especially, and the chance that I might not be able to spend it with her and the kids together, if the OM is still in the picture, but as of my recent discoveries about him, I'm not sure that he will be, but if he is, it will hurt, I will be crushed, but I will go on.
I know you said your not real religious, and I respect that, I'm no poster boy for the Church, believe me, but I do believe, so hold on to your faith, my friend, it will get you through this. I am praying for yours and your W's healing, as I pray for mine. Take care, Bro.
She says she wants to help secure her future if things dont work out with OM...I cant remember her exact words but thats what she ment. She stressed this more than a few times too.
Well that's good, don't you think?
Originally Posted By: strange
my W wants to make sure that her future is secure....
Sounds like she wants some independence too. Check my journal entry later today or tonight about that issue in my sitch.
Originally Posted By: strange
In the end we both signed the sale agreement form but i could see that W was very upset while doing this....As she was leaving I could also see that she was hesitant in doing so...She had tears in her eyes & I almost broke down but remained strong...She said...well i'll see at some place or something...She then reached out to me & we hugged..It was such a great feeling that I have not felt in alomst 4 mths...She held me so tight I was about to cry..We just hugged for what seemed to be ages...but I knew we had to let go & we did....She left at that.
Her emotions, hesitancy and the hug are all great signs that you have not had for a while, correct???
Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
The part about the OM & may it not work out... The way I see this at the moment is this...When she first left me her mind was dead set on things with OM being all that she ever wished for....However, time passes & she moves in with him & his kids...There has to be constant reminders of his dead W, the kids have photos etc & memories that will never leave them. W will now know this & see that things are not quite as she intended.
So I do know that it's crossed her mind that things may not be all they first appear to be..
We've had very little face to face contact since she left...maybe 4 times..The last time was when I took her the mail, about 2 weeks ago...
I know there was alot of emotion in that hug, it was not just a lets hug & get this over with & bye...It was long hard hug & I was supprised at just how strong she held on to me.
It's important to me to remain friends with my W I believe thats all that may be left of any R...As the days go by I am becoming more at peace with that thought....DB'ing will continue with the intesion of being friends. I would like to be the person that my W turns to if things do go to plan with the OM....My mother's couch may not be the best comfort zone I can offer, but hey, it is a nice couch lol....
Strange, Who knows what can happen in time, she may be beginning to wake up to the reality of the sitch, and if things don't work out with the OM, how secure is her future, you've said that housing there is very expensive, right, and she may need a place to crash still she can find one that is affordable, and with you still being friends and willing to share mom's couch, if she needs it, Well, that could really bring you closer, emotionally, and physically as well, that sounds like a great plan to me, till next time, Take care, Bro.
Well today got a little better for me in some ways...
I have a good friend that has offerd me a place to stay for as long as I need...He has an house that he rents out & it's empty at the moment. Best thing about that is he only wants enough to cover the bills for the house, so thats great. Also, I will have my own space which is cool. So, today is good news for a change
I know money is not everything but without it we are stuffed...After the sale of this house I will be rich I tell you, rich LOL...I can only just make the payments & pay the bils for this place so when I move i'll have enough spare money to even eat..imagine that
Yes Strange, Bro that is spectacular news, that sounds a lot better than mom's couch, You/we are lucky to have friends/family to rely on in hard times. Take care, Bro.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Strange, I've been reading your threads since you helped me with my recent post. I said I was ready to give up, you encouraged me to carry on by GAL etc. My wife is not involved with anyone else, so I can't speak from experience. But I can tell you that you have history (in years) with your W, the OM has a history (in days), no contest, you win. He will show his sour side before too long, the sky high feelings only last for 6 months, tops. Keep the faith, from your posted conversation, she seems like she is trying to find out if you are ready to give up on your M? It appears she is asking a question "W..But are you ok with it?" You are not okay with it, so tell her so when she comes to see you. Do you still wear your ring? Well, thats all I've got for you, do me a favor and check out my latest post, and give me some advice, thanks, GoodGuy
"We're here for a good time, not a long time" ________________________________________
M:48 W: 43 S;20, S;10 Married: 14 Years / Together 17 Years Bomb Dropped: 2/4/07 Separated: 6/29/07 D to be filed by my W soon.
Hi Strange, just checking in on you, haven't caught you on the boards for a while, which I hope is because, you haven't had the time, been too busy GAL. Just wanted to ask you how's it going? Talk with you later, bro.
