What is wrong with Chucky Cheese? I have a "get 80 tokens for the price of 40" coupon. And the cardboard pizza is the worst in town. What a deal.
Seriously, you are right about the birthdays. That is what sucks the most - birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. So special to the kids - but the kids are denied a family on these special dates.
If only former W realized that. I thought she did when she came by to see mom.
But now the hate returns: to her the kids are better off without their father. How sick is that?
But really, I bet she found herself seeing me differently lately as I supported her in her mom's death and through the D process. And then seeing my mom in a family celebration.
So now she has to pick a fight to tell herself she is still "right" about me and us. That it is all my fault - including Global Warming. Her best line "I am not your wife anymore" = I will not let YOU control me, you will not mess with my feelings.
She is trying to run from herself.
This is so insightful. You're a changed man, a few months ago you would have just been angry and let her have it. Very cool.
I feel I am changing but not yet changed. Her custody crap got to me b/c I let it. It was good to write the angry email and not send it. I will be honest that I was thinking of sending it this time. But the "wait 24 hour" rule was also running around in my head. I think the little boy was winning but then I got the email from my friend and that silenced the little boy.
Sometimes maybe we need to let them have it - in an assertive way. Staying on the high road is great but there are potholes - that feeling of self-righteousness and superiority. By "holding my temper" I also see passive-aggressive behavior resulting. No, not behaviors aimed at her, but behaviors that get internalized and that is not good.
Time to man-up again and let this pass.
I am glad I did respond to her in a non-aggressive way. Her responses provided a great deal of understanding as to her feelings she has right now. And how her little girl is running the show.
I just got this from her, so manning-up is not a bad thing:
"I am sorry if I upset you. I got the settlement draft yesterday. I think our issue is trust or maybe fear, and perhaps it's an artificial issue. I hope you know in your heart that I am not trying to get you to give up the kids."
I just got this from her, so manning-up is not a bad thing:
"I am sorry if I upset you. I got the settlement draft yesterday. I think our issue is trust or maybe fear, and perhaps it's an artificial issue. I hope you know in your heart that I am not trying to get you to give up the kids."
Perhaps it may be more appropriate to say 'manning up is what is needed'?
She continues to build respect for you whenever you are assertive, without being a jerk. Kinda interesting, isn't it?
