Each Day is New...

[Wooglint]

Yeah, stress has caused me to lose some weight as well. Trying to eat better and I added another day to my gym so I'm out of the house on Sat. I gotta get a new belt

B, you have to do what makes you feel best. I'd wear the ring if it feels right.

[john210]

Hello all,

Interesting discussion on the weight loss (I lost 25 lbs.). I definatelly needed to shed some weight...I guess it is true that there are positives in every situation. I eat better and sleep better than the earlier months. I guess that signals that I am GAL or acting as if or just plain have accepted the fact that this thing may not end up the way I want it to.
On the ring thing, my WAW still wears hers, however, I have stopped wearing mine. I do put it on on "special occasions". On the weekend we had a little party with her work buddies so I put it on. I find most of you pay alot of attention to this. Perhaps I have underestimated the effects this may have on my WAW. I wonder if there should be a section in the LRT on what is and isn't appropriate. If you are trying to do a 180 isn't wise to take it off? If you are trying to portray that you are moving on? I don't know, just asking...quite honestly, I never really liked wearing rings. I used to take it off when I played golf etc., however, I always had it on when I was home or left for the golf course.

[bhopeful]

Well, I've decided to get my ring resized. I'll be looking into it later this week. I made my vows before God and my family and to her. I plan to honor those vows to the best of my ability. It was really hard when I saw her and she had stopped wearing hers, but there's nothing I can do about that. Thank you all for your input.

[bhopeful]

I don't know why, but I feel like giving up today. I feel like I just want to move on with my life. I hate this limbo that I'm in. I feel emotionally drained and don't know what to do to get my strength back. So much for staying positive...

[Wooglint]

I know it's exhausting. I had a crappy morning, but evening made up for it. Hang tight. What's the downside? The worst case is you end up a better person.

[Heimlich]

I feel like I just want to move on with my life.

What's stopping you? Just because you move on with your life and start making decisions based on what's good for YOU doesn't mean that it's over.

Start living YOUR life. You're only in limbo because you allow yourself to be in limbo. Someone wrote a month or two ago that we all make our own prisons. We construct constraints on our actions based on fear -- of losing our spouses, of the unknown, of whatever your own personal fears are -- when all we have to do is realize that the door to the prison is unlocked. Open the door. Walk out.

BD

[JennyF]

B...I understand how you feel. Tell me something...what would "giving up" and "moving on with your life" entail??
Detaching from your spouse? Getting a life? Focusing on yourself and doing things that make you happy?
You have to do these things anyway whether you give up or not. Hold the hope in your heart and get on with your life! It's about you not her.

Here is what you posted on my thread yesterday...

Jenny, it sounds to me like you need to detach more. A lot more. You are correct in saying that you shouldn't waste your time on worrying about the OW. You can't really do anything about it whether you know or not and you're adding a lot of stress into your life obsessing about it. That's just my thoughts on it.

This is sound advice and I totally needed to hear it. Now besides the comment about OW...I'd say the same advice could be given to you.

We're going to have good days & bad days...today is just a bad day. It's ok, you're allowed to have those!

Some other advice you gave to me...

You're right, you do deserve to be treated better, so go buy yourself something nice. Take a long bath. Eat some ice cream. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself.

Hang in there...you're not alone. Tomorrow is another day!
Man...we can really beat a cliche to death around here!
J~

[WAWed]

Feeling for you bhopeful, I'm having a similar day. I think sometimes Limbo is when you are just tired and p**sed off with thinking about it. I sometimes feel like if I give up I could stop thinking about it and avoid this hurt. Truth is even if 'I gave up' it would follow me.

Good days will come, and when they do you'll look back you'll be proud you walked through the bad days.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi b,

Sorry your having a bad one today. We all have those thoughts and ups and downs, sometimes within minutes of each other, not just days.

I totally understand how you feel like giving up. But remember the path you really want and stick by it and your values. YOU will feel better about YOU if you stick by your plan. Remember to that giving up is not any easier...you will STILL have to deal with the crud you are dealing with now. Do what feels best for you, maybe you are confused about what that means right now. Examine that closer. Hang in there.

[bhopeful]

Thank you all for your words and for beating me up a little. Sometimes I need some "tough love". I had a lot of bad dreams last night and I woke up this morning with a bad dream hangover. I've let it control my attitude today and I know that I shouldn't. I'm going out for lunch today with the pastor that married us, so I'm going to make that a positive experience.

Jenny,
To me "giving up" and "moving on with my life" means that I give up on her and hope for our relationship. I'm not ready to do that yet, but sometimes the thought that I could be happy with someone else is easier to deal with than the reality that I'm living through now.

Peace,
B