I just found out my husband is cheating on me. I'm not sure if he's actually acting on it in "real life" but he is most certainly having some sort of online affair.
undercoverwife... have you confronted him about this? I would start there. Most cheaters like the thrill of being sneaky, gather evidence so he cannot refute your claims.
I think I saw somewhere that you can download a program that will record keystrokes and input that info into another program so you can read what he's been typing. If interested, google it.
I know how bad it sucks to be going through this, we've all been there.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I have not confronted him because I only had suspicions...and I wanted to trust him, I guess. I have no idea how to even confront him about this.
This morning I attempted to "set him up". I created a new email account in a fake name and sent him a message. He responded quickly, and what I would consider "eagerly". I had thought I'd try to set up a meeting with him and surprise him by being there (when he was expecting someone else)...but is that the right way to handle something like this?
The keystroke idea would probably be a good idea if we didn't have three computers...and he wasn't a computer specialist...I wouldn't have much of a clue how to install one and which machine to install it on so that he wouldn't know about it.
I'm so confused...
I just scheduled an appointment for a marriage counselor. I'm going alone tomorrow afternoon. My plan is to talk to the mc, then see what their input is.
Make sure you dont blow your cover! He will get even sneakier and be more vigilant in covering up his tracks. Dont let him know about you creating an email address etc.
Remember, how you react now will play a huge role in how this all plans out in your near future. Make sure you are calm (I know almost impossible) and level headed before making any confrontations/decisions.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
I would not be too hasty about confronting him. Especially since you kind of "set him up".
I think speaking with a marriage counselor is a good idea. Have you read Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy yet? If not go to the book store now if you can and get a copy.
Sorry you have to be here, but I am glad you found this site.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
I don't think I'll blow my cover because I'm not sure I'm going to respond...I don't even know how to talk to my husband as if he's a stranger. But I guess maybe he is after all...
You are right...being calm and rational is not something I am capable of right now. He's supposed to call me here at work in a few minutes. I don't plan on being in the office (the phone is ringing now...)
I don't know how I'm supposed to pretend everything is okay when I get home from work tonight.
I would not be too hasty about confronting him. Especially since you kind of "set him up".
I think speaking with a marriage counselor is a good idea. Have you read Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy yet? If not go to the book store now if you can and get a copy.
Sorry you have to be here, but I am glad you found this site.
I have not read either of those books...but have been thinking I need to get some kind of book. Maybe I'll stop at the bookstore on the way home. Ironically, that's where I thought about "meeting" him.
Found this site yesterday. I have a feeling I might be around awhile.
Speaking from experience drop the phoney email NOW! Do not respond to him again and don't let him know that was you.
You realize there is a problem in your marriage. Focus on that. If you can tell us more about your relationship. Has your H expressed unhappiness? What led you to look for him being unfaithful?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
