ok. I just realized yesterday that my back must be doing pretty good. cause I haven't been using my heatpad all night and with all the painting I'm still doing pretty good! Just gotta get motivated to work out dangit. It's so tough when it's so cold!!!
Soooo, been obsessively cleaning lately. H was hangin around me more last night. and he asked what time I went to bed the last two nights. was on the comp a little bit, but it was mostly cleaning till 1am and even 3 am the night before. I think he was wanting my attention. so I ended up going to bed 11 this time. also decided we should do something tonight.. so having the kids go to playtime plus. (paid for 30 hours a month ago, it was 90 bucks. but figured we needed it even though we don't really have the $, but need it for our sanity!).
So we're gonna do some more shopping and hopefully something else.
One thing I pray for is that we can have better convos. I really feel like we have nothing to talk about. I'm getting that feeling...how in the world did we get together?
I think I need to discover myself again. I think I'm getting into that losing my identity again. gosh, it is so easy to do that being a mother/wife. I forget what in the world makes me happy, what I laugh about, what is fun to me. Sometimes I think, maybe I'm just really dull and can't start any cool convos. maybe my H is boring. actually, I do feel like my H is boring sometimes.. but maybe it's just a reaction. or lack of reaction.
I know I'm totally rambling. I think part of it is the irritability of the kids that stresses us out, and I've totally lost my carefree/crazy/weird personality that I had when I met H. it's like I got old or something. I mean really, I used to be really strange. my whole family is in their own way... my mom acts like she's 5, literally, my aunts don't care what ANYONE thinks of them no matter who retarded they act.
I meant to have a good post. whoops,. '
I know I need to GAL again. it's just actually starting it is the problem. guess I need to figure out what to start first!
my goal tonight is to be weird again.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
well, we had our night out. it wasn't much. H was tired, so we just shopped a little, ran into some closed stores though, and went to eat then walmart for grocery shopping. I did get a margarita at Chili's that was pretty good and it actually HAD alchohol in it. oh my gosh. you know most restaurants don't really use anything, but this one sure did and I got tipsy on one drink. I think I have a drink about 3 times a year, if that... so I guess I can't drink much anymore. anyways, I actually tried to get into an R convo, but H never would go with it and almost seemed to allow interuptions so it couldn't keep going. I actually appologized for going back to my old self. I told him that I want to keep going out. he mentioned money, and I said, I don't care anymore, that he always wants to spend money on vaca's cause why go if you can't spend anything on what you want, so I say who cares about money cause we need to go out. I told him I feel like we're boring and I don't want to be boring, I want to have fun. he said, right right.
So, it wasn't the best evening, but I felt it was a little easier talking, probably due to the drink- darn it. maybe I need to work on losening up or something. and hopefully he will too.
He got my car installed with the remote start. SO GLAD!!!! I'll be getting him an ipod speaker dock thing, so if anyone has any input on those, I'll take it.
I was really stressed today though. so many things, but will just mention about our new phones. my cell has been broken, so we've known we would take care of that, possibly new provider. well, found out today if we switched to who my H wants, we have to have the same area code. I have wichita, and he has tulsa. I like it that way. well he wants his and I want mine. so of course I end up giving up mine. I feel resentful right now, but I know I'll get over it. so, I need to look at the positives about the phone and other stuff.
well, now he's right by me, so I'll post later.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Hey ST.. I'm just glad to hear you two got out together, it's a start! Even if it was kinda awkward.. I hope you can plan something at least once a month just to do that. Seems like something really good for you two.
I know this sounds funny but do you have any local restaurants where you can draw on the tables?? (i.e. here we have Macaroni Grill, and the tablecloths are paper - they provide you with crayons when you sit down.. there are a few Italian places around like that though). I find those dinners SO much easier because you can make it fun - play silly games like Hangman or Tic Tac Toe, draw goofy pictures, etc. A lot easier than just trying to talk.
I loooved my remote auto starter when I had it and I wasn't even in such a cold climate, so hope you enjoy that too. I know zero about ipods though... .
You really sound good lately, like you're working on getting back to "you" and things you enjoy, and I'm so glad to hear it. ((ST)))
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
CM, Thanks... it's nice to see other people dealing with the same probs! and thanks for those prayers, I need to be doing that more often too.
Hiya ST
My pleasure
I don't know what other advice to give ya, but in my humble opinion you "might" need to break through the hum_drum_daily_routines somehow with prayer & perhaps some fasting if you can?
It's getting near that "depressed" time of the year for me & still no "action and/or movement" from my wife - yet I know I need faith as that's the only thing that can/will work now
It works great, although I haven't used it since August, when he took it with him...
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
I was really stressed today though.
You're not the only one stresing lately! At this time of year, it seems like all of the little things added up with the holiday stresses and the M stress (!), are just too much. Hang in there!
Each Tuesday Bob shares his thoughts on marriage restoration over20 years after remarriage to Charlyne following their divorce. - - - - -
Tonight (Monday) is the last Rejoice Pompano session for 2007. If you are in South Florida please join us - http://RejoicePompano.org - - - - -
CHRISTMAS "I" TROUBLE -
"When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh." Matthew 2:10-11
One week from today is Christmas Eve. That does not seem possible.
It seems only last week that we were in the midst of watching for hurricanes. It must be either because Charlyne and I are getting older, or a sign of the times, but time seems to fly by. Actually, the old adage is true; time flies when you're having fun, and Charlyne and I are having fun, ministering to friends around the world and witnessing marriages healed and people coming to Christ.
About this time every year, some people seem to develop "I" trouble. They lose their joy and their hope because their focus is on themselves, instead of on Jesus, whose birth we celebrate and on the people around them. May I share some of the classic symptoms of "I" trouble?
"They got a Christmas bonus and I didn't." "I don't hear from my spouse like other standers do." "How can I go to Christmas events when I have to go alone?" "I am not receiving many Christmas cards." "I am so defeated, down, and depressed." "I have financial problems." "I have no time." "Why should I even get a Christmas tree?" "Why should I read testimonies when I do not have one?" "Wonder what I will get for Christmas?" "I dread Christmas."
For most of us, including yours truly, there are both "Amens" and "Ouches" in that list.
Let's look at what we might do to change some things.
It is as simple as getting rid of the "I" trouble. You do not need an opthamologist, but a Heart Doctor, our Lord Jesus, to correct your outlook on Christmas. If we can take the focus off of ourselves and on to Jesus, whose birthday we celebrate and onto others, I can promise you that your outlook will change.
Let me tell you about Deloris. She is an elderly Christian woman who works part-time for the Ministry. (If you receive monthly CD's from us, they were packed with love by Deloris.)
Each Christmas, Deloris makes Christmas goodies for her friends. In recent years, Deloris has had major health problems. Nevertheless, on Monday we received our annual Christmas treats from Deloris. I suspect they will taste even better this year, knowing that it was a labor of love for this woman to shop, cook, and then gift wrap her edible gifts.
May I ask you a question? What have you done for someone else this Christmas season? Not just a gift to someone's Christmas fund, but how much of yourself have you invested into making Christmas joyful for someone else?
If you reply, "You don't understand. I am going through a divorce," you, my friend, are not getting it. You can lose your hurts by becoming involved in helping others.
Charlyne and I suspect that too many standers are spending Christmas on the computer. Instead of looking down at a keyboard, look around at the people you could be blessing, by acts of love, this Christmas season.
While I have been sharing the cure for "I" trouble, a song your eyes has been running through my mind;
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There's light for a look at the Savior, and life more abundant and free!
His words shall not fail you - He promised, Believe Him and all will be well; Then go to a world that is dying, His Perfect salvation to tell!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace.
(Written by Hlene H. Lemmel; Copyright 1922;1944 Singspiration Music. Used by permission CCLI #173562)
If you are seeking a Merry Christmas, and it seems to be escaping you, turn your eyes off of the crisis, the confusion, the challenges, the courts, and the computer. Turn your eyes upon Jesus and upon His hurting children who you are in a position to help.
My prayer today is that you will have a quick recovery from Christmas "I" trouble. Yes, it is possible for you to both be blessed and to be a blessing to others. The letters on God's eye chart are not "I" but "H E" and "T H E M." Stop looking down and start looking around and your Merry Christmas will be there.
"After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him." Matthew 2:1
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Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
thanks Nikki! ya, that's probably a good idea about the drawing thing. my H doesn't like Italian an unfortunately that seems to be the places that have them. I think that's gonna be my new year resolution... to go out at least once a month. I wish H was more interested in that though. Maybe we should take turns picking what to do, that way each person gets to do what they want.
I will DEFINITELY be enjoying the starter. have already forgotten that I have it!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
CM, I know that is a good idea. I keep telling myself I'm going to start praying for H everyday.. and last year I was going to choose 1 day a month to fast and pray just for my H in the morning, but it only happened once. having kids really distracts you from your plans. I know I shouldn't make excuses. I need to figure out what's going to work for me to take action and do it!
and CM, won't it be such a wonderful testimony when God brings you both back together! Just don't dwell on her and continue to allow God to work in your life.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
thanks new attitude, I did end up picking one out.. buy.com has some pretty good deals, and it's a logitech too. so I'm glad you liked yours.
Glad I'm not the only one going crazy! I know I never really went thru christmas during my "real" sitch.. so I can't say I understand totally but I definitely feel for all of you!!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
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