A good sign? Got a text message from H last night (earlier than his usual) if we could get together, I replied come on over. About an hour later (about 11:00) he's at my door (and was not drunk). He comes in, takes my hand, pulls me towards him and gives me the biggest, tightest embrace. THEN, he said, "I miss you so much" and kissed me. I said, "it's nice to hear that." Then we talked a little bit, nothing about the R though, and went to bed. He held my hand most of the night. It was so nice to have him here. As he was leaving for work he said he would call me later (I'd like to believe he meant sometime today, but not holding my breath, in fact I may be "busy", and not take the call). Baby steps, right? Think small? H saying "I miss you" is good, right?
M 29/H32 M 7yrs/1 dog Bomb 10/18 M in apt 11/13/ H in the house 1st now
I think that I would cry if my wife said that she missed me.
It sounds like it was a positive evening. You need to make sure that he's not using you though. Maybe next time don't make yourself so available. If he wants to come over, maybe just talk to him on the phone or offer a different time for him to come. Don't just jump on any opportunity that he presents to you.
Just my $.02
B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
I think you were all right about him using me, because that's how I feel right now. I just got a voicemail from him saying that I got some mail and he saw I am scheduled for Jury Duty so he opened it to find out when, so I can make arrangements with work, it's on the counter and I can pick it up Saturday while he's on shift. I feel like I'm only good enough to talk to or see when he wants sex. I feel so cheap right now.
M 29/H32 M 7yrs/1 dog Bomb 10/18 M in apt 11/13/ H in the house 1st now
I can't say that I would pass up a "Booty Call" from my W. Though I would probably end up feeling like you do now. You can learn from the past though. So don't get down on yourself, instead look at this as a lesson learned. You're worth more than a romp in the sack and he will eventually see that. If not, then it's his loss. What are you going to do today to boost your PMA? According to weather.com it's 80 and sunny there right now, so I know I would be on the beach...
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
I am losing him, not only is he subscribed to match.com, he just subscribed to eharmony today - I don't know what to do. I feel used and lost and empty, confused. I'm LRTing my brains out - I'm not contacting him, I'm GAL, I thought there was a little sign of hope but now I'm not so sure, please any advice, anything at all. . .
M 29/H32 M 7yrs/1 dog Bomb 10/18 M in apt 11/13/ H in the house 1st now
I don't think those sites mean much of anything, really. It actually makes him look a bit desperate. You are doing what you can do. Your list of improvements sounded great to me. If it wasn't for the two other occasions, I'd be wondering about an MLC, has there been any extra stress at the firehouse lately? Or even the other two times?
If it is MLC, you could be in for a long ride. And not much fun! I'd seriously consider a NO the next time he wants to romp. I think he needs to see that he is not the center of your universe.
Hmmm, for right now, pet the dog! What kind is it?
Part of what bothers me the most is that he keeps saying he just wants to be alone, he doesn't want to be with anyone, yet he's going on these sites, I just don't get it. Monday night he tells me he misses me "so much" and today this, I just don't understand.
I will guarantee an emphatic NO next time he thinks he's going to get any. Though I am glad he calls me instead of picking somebody up, ya know what I mean?
My dog is a mixed breed - we (I mean I) think she's a Sharpei & Ridgeback mix - she kind of looks like a mini Scooby Doo, with a curly tail and one ear up and one ear folded half way down. She's my "puddin'", her name is Rahja, and she's my baby.
M 29/H32 M 7yrs/1 dog Bomb 10/18 M in apt 11/13/ H in the house 1st now
I sure understand. I think that he does want to be alone, but alone is scary. Plus, he is looking for affirmation that he still has 'it', whatever that is, and he doesn't want it from you. I;m not sure he really wants it elsewhere, but he is confused.
And I sure understand that you would rather have him sleep with you than pick up someone else. But, I guess there's a time to draw a line in the sand. He's right close to cake eating.
I wish we could figure out the 'issues' thing. If there aren't issues with others, are there issues with him? I wish I had some better ideas. For now, I guess just keep yours eyes and ears open for clues.
Sounds like a cool dog! Perfect for helping pick you up when you are a bit blue!
Have you read the stuff at the top of the MLC board? I don't know enough to say, but a lot of the words sound familiar.
I can imagine how it must be driving you crazy, him coming round one evening then just nothing. As strange as this may seem, it is a normal pattern. They sometimes feel that they have 'surrendered' too much power then pull away.
Your GAL program sounds fantastic. It takes time for real results to develop. Hang in there. What helped me a lot was participating in as many threads as I could find time for. Seeing the same problem from a different perspective can be - illuminating-.
