Takin them as they come...

[JennyF]

Don't be so hard on yourself. There is no right or wrong answer. I think an e-mail is a good idea...it's in between no contact and a phone call.

I don't think you're at a point where and e-mail would push her away...but that's just my opinion and I don't want to steer you in the wrong direction.

Good idea to sleep on it (and pray on it) and see how you feel tomorrow.

J~

[bhopeful]

Thanks guys. I've decided to send her a voicemail. I figured out how to do that without actually calling her first. That way she can hear my voice and it's more personal than an email but she won't feel like she has to answer if she doesn't want to. Now just to figure out what I'm going to say...

[grdn24grl]

Hi B,
sounds like you had a great night Monday, I agree that she's probably a little taken aback and spooked I wouldn't worry about her not contacting you, but see no problem with you giving her a little ring - short and sweet.
Keep you the good work - you give me hope!

[bhopeful]

So I called her voicemail like I said I was going to. I just said something like "I haven't heard from you in a while, so I'm just calling to see if everything is alright. I hope your week was good. Call me if you want. Bye.". I had no expectations of getting a response from her. But what do you know, not a minute later she calls me back.

She said that her weeks been good but really busy. She gave me a run down of her entire week and what she's doing this weekend. I didn't even ask for it. It did sound like her week was pretty busy and she'd been going to bed really early. I didn't ask why she's not logged into IM anymore and didn't push anything on her. Just listened and offered things only when she asked. I did tell her that I have some money from selling her skis. She was stoked about the cash. In all it was probably only a 5 - 10 minute conversation. We're both working so it's not like I expected anything longer.

So that was the experiment. Now for monitoring results. It seems as though I should probably start calling her more. Maybe I should have called her Wednesday night instead of waiting until this morning. My new experiment is if she hasn't contacted me in a couple days, I will contact her. That means if I don't hear from her by Sunday night, I will call to just to say Hi.

What a load lifted off of me though. It's definitely boosted my spirits for the weekend. I was going to have fun either way, but now I don't have a little voice in my head wondering about it.

Peace,
B

[bhopeful]

So I didn't pull through with the goal I had set for myself of calling her last night. It was three full months yesterday and I was feeling really down. I didn't think that it was a good time to call her. I miss her so much. She seems content with not calling me right now though. For a couple weeks it seemed like we had a good thing going. Now it seems like we're back in the dark times. I want to call her and ask her what happened. I know that I can't though. I want my wife back...

[JennyF]

Hey B....I'm sure she's just pulling back to mull over the last few weeks. Give her time to miss you.
Sorry you're sad...I'm with you buddy!! It was 3 full months for me last week too.
J~

[grdn24grl]

Thursday was 1 month for me since I moved out. I am in the same contact situation as you right now. I haven't talked to him since the "I miss you" last Monday night. I miss him and want him back too. The closer it gets to Christmas the harder it's getting. All we can do is hope for a Christmas miracle, I know I am.

[bhopeful]

Thanks Jenny. I don't know why it hit me so hard. It's like the reverse of when you first start dating and every month seems special. Now they just make me sad. Another month lost.

I had a good weekend in spite of it though. Friday night I went to a Christmas play. Saturday I spent the day in Chicago. Sunday I learned to snowboard, or maybe I should say that I learned how not to snowboard. My arms are sore today from catching myself as I fell. Next time I'll do better though.

Friday night at the play was a bit awkward. I was there with my family and we were sitting behind some people that we know. They decided that they wanted to sit in the middle instead of where we were at so they moved. This left some open seats in front of us. A few minutes later my W's aunt (from another state) sits down. I didn't even realize it was her at first. I was thinking that it was really weird. She didn't recognize me or at least she didn't seem to. Then my W's dad, my FIL, sat down with her! He and my parents have never got along. He said an awkward hello and then the play started. Afterwards he went to talk with someone as soon as the lights came on. I waited around for a while since I wanted to at least say a better hello. He never came back though. I understand. I mean what's he really going to say? Sorry that my daughters wacky and left you. Anyways... Who says God can't be ironic...

[Wooglint]

B,

I'm surprised only your arms are sore. My rearend hurt for a week after my first time snowboarding.

Interesting time at the play. I'm sure that FIL had no idea what to say. I'm sure I wouldn't. Any idea what the W has told them?

[bhopeful]

I was able to catch myself usually. I did fall on my butt a few times though. It is a little sore but it's nothing compared to my arms...

I don't have any clue what my W has told them. I'm sure that they've heard all of the complaints. I know that when this first started that her dad and brother wanted to see us get back together. Her mom's always been a bit of an enigma for me though. I haven't talked to them since this started though, so I don't have much insight into how they are feeling about this. Her dad avoids confrontation though, so I'm sure that's why he took off so quick. That and a lack of something to say...