Wait...so she's being supportive and encouraging? Holy Crap! What a concept! And you "communicated" with one another about how it made you each "feel". Ok....now you're pushing it buddy. I'm not buying it. Congrats buddy.
Rob - I have read your sitch and, like Frank_D's, I have found it inspiring. I have posted a question on the Infidelity board regarding marriage counseling ("Advice regarding counseling", not part of the regular post shown in my signature). Could you take a look and let me know what you think?
Thanks!
Last edited by Michael Mc C; 12/18/0702:47 PM.
Latest Thread
Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
Hi gang, Haven't updated much lately, figured it was about time.
Continuing to work on Piecing - takes a loooong time, let me tell ya. Time and Patience, baby, Time and Patience. Every now and then, I see myself or W starting to backslide into some old habits - yeah, that's pretty easy to do - but overall things are pretty good. Let's see...
Still working on doing more with friends. Slacked off on that a bit over the holidays, trying to get back in the swing while everybody is battling the January Blahs.
Started swing dance lessons again, this time with a woman who worked at W's former company. (An aside: the woman's husband is a real introvert and won't go with her. I hardly know the guy, but it makes me wanna drive to his house and say "WAKE UP, YOU MORON!" She is really fun and outgoing, says it doesn't bother her, and jokes about needing to find a gay boyfriend dance partner - but I have to wonder!) Anyhow...
Got invited by some good friends (band parents) to join them on a vacation in the outer banks this summer, co-renting a house. We've always said that would be fun - how cool to have been invited! Too bad D15 finds their son really annoying (well, truth to tell, he IS) but them's the breaks. W and the other mom are having fun picking out the house (there she goes planning it all again! )
One area that W and I are backsliding a bit is in the Hot Sex Department. I don't want to see us revert to that nasty roommate-like world, so I'm a third of the way into Michelle's Sex Starved Marriage book. (I figured MWD pointed me in the right direction once, so why not again?) Not surprisingly, a lot of the advice sounds very like what I already learned from DBing - just need to apply it in a different aspect of the R now. I should say, we're not talking a dire, disastrous sitch here - just an area of our lives that needs a boost, so that's exactly what I plan to do.
D15 is doing pretty well in school. She's waffling on what she wants to study in college (my opinion is she's still trying to find some job that doesn't require her to actually do any work). She's enjoying learning to drive. Trying to be upbeat about this rather than letting stark terror rule my life.
My own job is still going pretty well. In some ways, it probably would be good for me to move on (I've been at this job for 18 years), but it's engaging enough right now I can happily put that on the back burner for a while.
Bottom line: Doing pretty well, but there's ALWAYS more to do. One big part of Piecing, IMHO, is realizing this - even when you are successful, you need to treat the R as a journey, not a destination. Keep trying, keep growing, keep GALing and PMAing.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
We had pretty good holidays - W and I have learned that the 'trick' to spending Christmas with my family is to drink heavily. Sheesh, why didn't we learn this years ago? And the 3+ hour trip to and from their house is a lot easier when you have a teenager with a learner's permit who is dying to drive the entire way (especially good on the drive back when you are feeling slightly hung over!)
New Year's Eve was good (our 21st anniversary!) We did the "First Night" deal where they set up lots of bands, art exhibits, ice sculptors, etc. downtown. We had fun even though it was darned cold outside! Thanks for asking.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Bottom line: Doing pretty well, but there's ALWAYS more to do. One big part of Piecing, IMHO, is realizing this - even when you are successful, you need to treat the R as a journey, not a destination. Keep trying, keep growing, keep GALing and PMAing.
Now THAT'S the truth.
Actually, the real truth they don't tell us at the beginning of this whole journey is that it's NEVER NEVER over. Never. It's about remaining conscious and continually evolving over time. It's about taking risks and being true to your wants and needs for the rest of your life.
It's hard!
Sounds like you're kicking butt, and kudos to you for looking to ramp up the sex. Keep up your great work!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Congrats buddy. 
