Takin them as they come...

[bhopeful]

Thanks for thinking that I'm a good guy Ann. It's nice to hear that from a woman other than my mother.

I figured that I must have rattled her cage a bit since I can't think of any other reason why she would cut me off. I know that I probably won't find out why and that I just have to wait it out. We've had conversations in the past about my changes and how I've found happiness within. She's told me that she feels like she's getting there but just hasn't made it yet. We'll see I guess. OM is supposed to be back in town for 4 days sometime soon. I hope that isn't the reason for her absence. She seemed sincere in her regret over the EA, so I don't think that she would let it happen again. I don't know for sure though and am not going to get worked up about something I'm just guessing at.

I'm off to yoga class in a few minutes, so hopefully that will bring my peace back to the front.

B

[JennyF]

B...sounds like you're doing really well. You're not reading into it too much which is great.
Give her space...she'll get there.
Hope Yoga class was good...I'm thinking about taking a meditation class, I need to figure out how to clear my head!!
J~

[bhopeful]

I'm trying really hard not to read too much into it. It's hard not to let your mind wander/wonder sometimes though.

Yoga was great! It clears your mind and your body feels great too. I've never tried a meditation class but I image that would be good too. I like yoga though since it's a mind and body type of exercise. I've just started getting into it so it's been pretty low key and the class is filled with older ladies. I'm the only guy in the class.

[bhopeful]

So I woke up this morning with the following letter in my head. I'm thinking of sending her an email today or tomorrow just to restate my position. I'm worried that she may have taken my "Now why would I want to do that" comment seriously or was hurt by the bedroom more than I know. Here's the letter:

-----------------------------

W,

I haven't heard from you in a while and I hope that you are doing good. I want to make sure that I didn't convey through my words or actions a desire to not be with you. I do want you in my life. You are very important to me and I love you W. I understand that you may need space right now and I respect that. I felt the need to make sure that you knew my position though in case there was any confusion. I hope that everything is alright and you are enjoying life to the fullest.

Sincerely,
B

-----------------------------

I know you'll all tell me not to send it, but I feel like I need to let her know where I stand for sure. I'm going back to bed for a while and look forward to your input.

Thanks,
B

[Lkyguy]

You are right...dont send it..just my opinion...she knows how you feel...I think less is more.

[WAWed]

Don't send it, keep your cool. I agree with lkyguy, from everything you've written she knows how you feel. Keep with light, playful flirting, not heartfelt messages.

If you wonder how she knows, think if you really hated her and wanted nothing to do with her every again, how would you of been acting? Compare that with how you have been acting, she will pick up on that.

[Wooglint]

Don't send it. You're doing so well. Hang tight. She knows how you feel. I'm sure of it.

[Heimlich]

I made this mistake over and over. Don't send it. She knows. Actions, not words.

[bhopeful]

Thanks guys.

It's just that some comments that she's made in the past lead me to believe that she wants me to validate that I still want her. Almost like she wants me to pursue her, but that's probably not what's going on now.

I won't send it. I had to get it out so I could get back to sleep though.

I don't know how to show her through actions when she won't have anything to do with me though. I know, just give it time...

Grrr... Patience... Argh...

[Wooglint]

B,

Patience is something I have never had. If there is anything good that comes from the hell I'm in right now it will be a higher level of patience.

We're all here for you.