Ann, I already bought her a snowboard, but I did get her a small thing that she can open. I'll see how things go the next time I talk to her. I would like to do a Christmas eve lunch though. We'll see.
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
Looks like waiting worked out for ya B...good job...It looks like the ball is back in your court and it's your serve again...just make sure ya make a good lob that she can handle easily. Really glad you waited. It's exactly what you want...for her to reach out to you. No matter how her life is treating her, she picked up the phone for you. Big positive...
oh and one other thing. I get huge PMA even if my wife gives me a text message and says I cannot take 5D to church Sunday b/c of whatever...it is something...I cannot imagine not getting mega boost from hearing the voice of my wife. So, if I was you I would take that shot of PMA with joy and a smile on my face even if it was a booster in the rump.
Good job waiting B, it all worked out. Good job too not asking why she never called, I know how hard it is to bite the tongue sometimes.
Originally Posted By: bhopeful
I know that I shouldn't allow her to affect my PMA, but I sure to feel a boost when I talk to her...
Correction: don't let the negative stuff bring down the PMA...but of course you can let the positives bring it up. The positives are what we're trying to bring about after all
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Something else interesting from the conversation. She's going to start volunteering at a place that is exactly like where I volunteer just in the town where she's living now. I found it kind of strange the she's mimicking my GAL activity. Also, it's an overtly Christian place and she's expressed doubts about her faith as recently as a month ago. I see it as a positive step though.
Well, I finally got my ring resized so I'm going to start wearing it again. We'll see if she notices it the next time I see her. I never wanted to stop wearing it to begin with, but it started falling off all the time. It's back on for good now, at least unless she wants a divorce.
One more point of frustration just arrived in the mail today. The cellphone bill is twice what it should be this month. It's all because of her. I don't really talk on it and I'm conscious of the minutes being used and such. I don't think that I'll ask her to pay half of it since I know she's really hurting for money. I do think that I need to bring it up though as it's not fair to me that she's costing me so much money. Any opinions on this?
Thanks, B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
Hey B, Yeah, I think you should bring it up because you are right it isn't fair to you. Maybe just mention that you need to relook at your current plan to see if there one that better matches the usuage because the bill last month was XX amount. That could be a segway into it. Glad you got your ring resized...I really miss wearing mine. You know...rings mean a lot to women. I'll bet she noticed that you weren't wearing it...and I know she'll notice that you're wearing it again!! ;-) J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
I had the same issue with the phone. W left and then started using thousands of minutes. I wasn't concerned with the cost as much as that most of them were with a guy she used to work with. Anyway, my W said she'd pay for what she used so I didn't have that issue of asking her to pay. I haven't confronted her about who she's talking to and don't plan to...
As for you, it seems to me that it is perfectly fair to at least bring it up. Maybe she doesn't realize, maybe she could be more careful with the use and she just doesn't know she went overboard, who knows? Maybe you could be fine paying for it this time but let her know that you don't plan to do that in the future? Has money been a difficult subject or something you usually deal with fairly and rationally? The answer to that could point you in the right direction.
And I agree, the volunteering seems weird, but seems like a positive step.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Money has been a sore point for her since she doesn't have much. We've always had a joint account since we've been married. One of the points that she threw against me was that I didn't want to split that up while we were still together. She said that was one of the ways in which I was controlling. So money has been a bit of a sore spot for her in the past. I think that I'll tell her that I'll pay it this time but if it's this high in the future I'll want her to help out. I don't think that I'll have an issue covering it this month. My phone company doesn't send the breakdown of the minutes, so I don't know who she's talking to and I don't really want to know. I could look it up online if I really wanted to, but what would that get me? Probably heartache and pain...
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
Most definitely heartache...and not like you know what was said anyhow. Spying doesn't help you detach. Seems like active pursuit. Hard not to be curious for your own benefit but not worth it...detaching helps much more.
