The Long and Winding Road...

[bhopeful]

I thought that I had better post an update as to how New Years Eve went. It may be easier to see the events as a time line...

2:00 PM - Called W but didn't leave a message.

3:30 PM - Called W again and she answered this time. Said that she didn't see that I had called earlier. I called to see if I could stop over to her place on my way up to my friends house. She said sure, but she didn't know if she would be there. She was still trying to figure her night out. Her friend that's a single mom who she wanted to hang out with told her that she might be busy and shouldn't plan on hanging out with her. So she had some other friends ask her to go to a concert. The time of the show and when they were going to pick her up was still in the air at this point. She said that she would call me and let me know when she knew what was going on.

5:20 PM - I was going to be leaving in a few minutes and I still hadn't heard from her, so I called. She was all frazzled because she still didn't know what was going on. She was really short with me and said that if I was coming that I had better leave now and that she would probably only have a couple minutes. At this point I almost said forget it, I don't even want to see you if you're like this. But I got my stuff together and left.

6:00 PM - Got to her place and she was in a much better mood. She was also cooking dinner which I found strange since she was supposed to be leaving in a couple minutes. It turned out that since no one could give her a straight answer as to when they were leaving she told them that she wasn't going to go. She then said that she was going to a house party with her brother and his girlfriend. I ended up hanging out at her place for over an hour. I had brought some wine, so we each had a glass of that. We talked for a while and then I was going to leave. I couldn't help it, but I was a bit down and she could sense it. This led into her saying that I deserved to be with someone that would be with me on New Years Eve. I told her that it didn't matter what she thought that I deserved and that it was her that I wanted and love. I had to hold back a few tears. I left on a somewhat positive note with her saying that she would be thinking of me at 12:01. I told her that I would call her if I had cell reception where I was going.

7:45 PM - 12:45 AM - I went to my parents house for a few minutes and picked up my brother. We then went to my friends house and had fun being dorks. At 12:30 someone asked what the buzzing noise was so I checked my phone that I left in my coat pocket. W was calling me to wish me a happy new year. Her message said that she was back home already and to call if I wanted. We took off soon afterwards and I dropped my brother back off.

12:45 AM - I returned call to W. She told me that she ended up hanging out with her single mom friend and that she didn't get there until 11 PM. She had just hung out at home and cleaned until she went to her friends house. I found this pretty strange since she hasn't been one to turn down a party. I was happy about it though. She hinted around at where I was and if I was in a hurry to get home. I told her that I was on the road and that I had time to kill if I wanted. She then invited me over!

1:00 AM - 3:30 AM - We hung out on her couch and watched a movie. She kept falling asleep but I didn't mind. She had her legs stretched across me and I gave her a little foot rub. It was a really nice time for me and seemed like she was really relaxed too. Nothing major, but I love when we have time like this. She thanked me a couple times for coming over. A kiss and a hug before I left... I love her.

Sorry that this is so long, but I wanted to get it all written down so that I don't forget it. I felt that it was all a positive night. She called me around noon the next day to make sure that I made it home ok the night before. It's nice to know that she cares about me.

[grdn24grl]

B, I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work. Thanks for being here!

[Wooglint]

B,

Sounds like it ended up being a Happy New Year. You're giving me hope. Thanks,

[bhopeful]

Thanks. It sure seems positive. I'm hesitant to invest too much emotionally in it right now though. Definitely have to take it slow even though part of me wants to jump in with both feet. I have to make sure that I keep some slack in the rope since I don't want her to retreat again. I just keep taking it day to day...

[Wooglint]

It sounds like the right approach. She actually seems to be pulling you closer. Keep doing what you are doing.

[bhopeful]

Well it's been a quiet couple days. I haven't actually talked to her at all. She'll log into IM for a little bit and talk to me and then she logs back out. I don't know what to make of it all.

I'm not going to contact her this weekend until maybe Sunday night. We'll see. I'd love to see her again this weekend, but I don't want to push it. There's a band playing that she likes next weekend, so maybe I'll see if she wants to go see them.

Why couldn't I just be in a normal relationship? But what's normal anyways I guess?

I hope you all have a good weekend.
B

[blindsided1]

Isn't that what they kinda do? From what I have read on the boards, they get close and then they pull away a little. You seem to have a grip on letting it slide off of your back. Thanks for checking in on me often. I appreciate all the feedback. I too am worrying about how this weekend is going to go. I'm just trying to remain calm and GAL.

[bhopeful]

You're right in that it's pretty much par for the course. It's a real struggle to truly let it slide off my back some days. I guess that's when I need to fake it until I make it.

No problem on the checking in on you. It's nice to know that it's appreciated. I wonder sometimes.

[grdn24grl]

Love ya, B - I know I have appreciated all of your input.
Hope all is well.
Nothing new in my sitch - still no word from him. I'm finding it hard not to call, at least to let him know that I'm not really avoiding the discussion (yes I am), I've just been really busy (sort of). Anyway, I'll check in later. Have a good evening, any plans?

[bhopeful]

Everythings going pretty good. It could be better as I'm sure you well know. I just got back from taking the dogs for a walk with my neighbors and then we're going to out to dinner. It sure is cold out here... Tomorrow I'm going to the International Motorcycle Show, so that should be pretty cool.

Be sure to resist the temptation to call. I know it's hard, but I don't think that it would help you. Be sure to keep me updated if anything happens though.

Peace,
B