She's ready to move on

[Michael Mc C]

You know, prior to really thinking about how she has taken advantage of our current living arrangements (some time earlier this week I guess it was) I asked her to join me for sushi on Friday (today, the 4 month anniversary of our sitch oddly enough).

She looked a bit taken aback by it and asked what I had in mind. I mentioned her favorite place (mine too) and thought her reaction was a good sign.

Then she said: "With who? M and J (brother and his GF)?"

I said "No, I thought the two of us could go out and grab some dinner together."

She didn't respond, she just nodded her head slowly with the "deer in the headlights" look (the nod was not a "yes" nod). Since I was leaving for the gym, I let it drop.

So I went to the gym, a bit angry, and came home and calmly retracted the offer. She asked why and I told her that I guess I didn't know what I was thinking.

So... I know that her accepting a dinner invitation from me would have been a big, awkward step for her to take. I guess I shouldn't take it personally but still, it pissed me off a bit.

I'm not sure if I should have retracted the offer. Since she never really responded I decided it was a) too soon, b) an idiotic move on my part c) looking as if I was trying to rekindle romance and d) pursuing. Cancelling, however, may look indecisive and wishy-washy.

I don't care too much about it now. I have learned that when (if) she is ready to spend ANY time with me, she will need to initiate it. I think I may have succeeded in giving her the message that I don't need this relationship to work.

I could have told her to take some time to think about it I guess but to me that would be as if I was asking her for a favor.

[hopeforfuture]

Mike,
I'll take you up on the sushi offer. No expectations.

[Dr LOve]

MC dude,

I think you ASSUME too much. I would not have "retracted the offer". When I got home I would hae asked so do ya want to go?
If she said no then say "Ok Just thought you might want to join me."
and left it at that.

Husband

[LL44]

I'll take you up on the sushi offer. No expectations

LOL!!

I have done that in the past (asked H to do something, got a wishy washy reply, and then regretted asking him). I don't think anything we do is 'wrong'. There is no list of instructions here. What works for some might not work for others. You put that offer out there, and calmly retracted it when you saw she was uncomfortable. Wait and see. She might just say something about it soon, maybe she has thought about it and wants to go...

[Michael Mc C]

Damn. You're right. Gonna put that one in the back pocket for the next time.

[Dr LOve]

LWB,

here we call susi bait....

great for fishing

Husband

[LL44]

LOL!! I would call it bait too. I am sooo not hip, I hate sushi..anything from the sea really.....

[Michael Mc C]

I'll take you up on the sushi offer. No expectations

Hah! Too funny. You better not have any! Need to get together for some beers over at Stanhope House!

She might just say something about it soon, maybe she has thought about it and wants to go...

I thougt about this too. Now that the offer has been made on one occassion she may bring it up sometime in the future (W really likes sushi).

[Dr LOve]

How ya doing?

IHad to take three detours home today because of flooding. Trees down, Power out all over the place. (Not my house). I find my W changing attitudes minute by minute lately. If she says a negative she quickly comes back with a negative. Not sure what is happening. I am staying the course though. Is she waking up? Husband

[failycrazy23]

I think i would just let her know you are going out for sushi and she was welcome to come if she wanted.