Thanks, Amy! Your opinion means a lot to me! I'm thinking of asking her, but telling her not to asnwer til the next day....on the other hand, she is really good at planning arguments, so I dont' know that that is a great plan. I probably more interested in her real feelings, not in what she can come up with overnight. I'm sure there will be discussion the next day too, if we are both still alive and in the house!
I'm sure she will be caught off guard, she'll probably gointo shock. I think (and I realize I am making assumptions here)she is comfortable with things, even though she knows I am unhappy. So, I think it is time for here to face that. If she doesn't want to, I am prepared to move on. I want to be married to her, but we are not now!
I told H today that I will accept the divorce if he would like to process one. He wasn't happy with that, but I was very much at peace about that and meant it as well. I know I will be fine if his decision is to D and if wants to do so then it's better than being in this situation for both me and daughter.
Sending you love and hugs for your upcoming plan on this conversation.
Sounds like a plan has come together. I am really thinking of you...
Originally Posted By: dry_heat
I'm sure she will be caught off guard, she'll probably gointo shock. I think (and I realize I am making assumptions here)she is comfortable with things, even though she knows I am unhappy. So, I think it is time for here to face that. If she doesn't want to, I am prepared to move on. I want to be married to her, but we are not now!
You deserve to be happy, and it sounds like you ARE making the decision to do this from a place of love and peace. Totally rooting for you!
When the time comes, it is going to be the hardest thing i have ever done. I'll need you guys to help me get ready for that, ok? And probably afterwards, too!
I understand where you are coming from...and know the conflicting emotions you must be feeling with taking such a step. I sincerely hope you get the answer you want and are prepared to face what lies ahead no matter the outcome!
Best wishes
Hugs!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
Hey Jeff, Maybe the word "controlling" was a little extreme, but I was just trying to get across that you can't "make" her come to a decision. She may be in limbo land right now, but I think it's perfectly OK for you to tell her that you're not OK with the way things are right now. Gee, that's what I did in our last JC session. Our next one is tomorrow. Who knows what will come out of my mouth tomorrow?
You are right, I can't make her come to a decision, but for me, right now anyway, that is a decsion. She can be in limbo, but I am ready to be out of it! So, if she wants to be in limbo, I am ready for her to do it without me!
That sounds pretty harsh, and maybe it is, but time hasn't helped, if anything things are getting slowly worse.
I have never done anything like this before, it is going to be really hard, but I think it needs to be done.
