I'm almost free!

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hi Nic,

First off, wanted to say how nice it was to see you again. You seem so much happier than you did the first time we met. You definitely seem so much more confident and you should.

You are probably right about having a sweetheart...if that ever happens. :sad:

Ok, what is this about? Do you know why people are referred to as "Mr or Mrs Right"? It's because the timing and circumstances are just that, right. So, until Mr. Right comes along, continue to focus on you. With your bubbly personality, you obviously have to problem meeting men. The reason why you can only stand them for 5 mins is because they are not the right one for you. And that is what you deserve so take the time you need to find him.

As for your H and his gf, they created the situation, they need to handle it. OMG, it's just like your h to shrug off the responsibility of being a parent. It's obvious that gf and he are not able to discuss the issue so she feels you need to be involved...NOT.

The only thing I would watch for is signs of distress on your son's part. If it seems that he is unhappy or anxious or irritable, I would ask your sbtx wth is going on, not his gf.

While your H chose to leave his family and start a new one, your son did not and does not HAVE TO accept or get along with gf's son. He didn't have a choice, your stbx did. If the boys can not get along then I would suggest that your H spend time alone with his son and away from gf's son. The more they force a R btwn the boys, the more resentful your son will become. Your son is your and your stbx's responsibility, not his gf.

I can't imagine she will continue to want to deal with any issue btwn the kids if your stbx doesn't get involved. I've seen this happen.

As far as I can see, if your H wasn't involved in his own children's lives, he certainly won't be involved in her son's life. God help her if they have a child together.

I like your response to her. You are doing just fine. Don't let their problems become yours.

Much love to you,
ISLH

[amd]

I think your email sounded perfect. It appears that gf is becoming part of the regular pattern for XH: dealing with the hard stuff that he can't handle.

And BTW, I find it impossible to believe that a cutie-patootie like you will never find a sweetheart again. Puh-lease!Give yourself some time,babe.

Be well.

[princess_nic]

OMG! Twice now I have written long replies and been erased! I don't know if it's my new computer or what. I am going to break this up.

Bill:

I am always happy to read what you have to say, so I'm really pleased that you posted on my thread.

Since this gf is not the original ow, the dynamic is not the same as in your sitch. That said, I still have no interest in being her friend or even in working with her on my son's issues. I think she is frustrated with stbx and looking for support - but she won't get it from me. Why did she call? Who knows? For all I know stbx has told her we had an amicable split. I doubt very much that she knows he cheated on me, or that he was still taking me out to dinner and other places w/ the kids when they started dating!

The "piece to resistence" was when she said, "I know D is hard; I've been there too." OMG! Can you say 'clueless'? Yeah, it's hard when your ex is trying to leave you homeless and broke, lol!

Thanks for posting.

[princess_nic]

Alison:

Thanks for posting. I guess the good thing for teens is that they can decide what type of R they want with their father, whereas my kids are too young to do that, esp S6. He is being forced into a situation that the did not ask for. And his father remains clueless (or is attempting to, at least).

Your friend's idea is interesting. I don't like online dating b/c I think you can tell so much more by just meeting someone in person. I mean, in the first few seconds, there are things you can see that would take days or weeks to "see" online. That said, her thoughts on conversation are interesting. I will keep that in mind!


Whitelight:

I am so happy to hear from you! And with such great news!!! You must now realize how unworthy of you your ex was, and how much better you deserve.

I want to give you hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. After 2 years of dating, I have finally met the guy!!!

Thank you for this. I do still believe in true love, I just want God to hurry up and bring us together, lol!

All my best to you, sugar!

[princess_nic]

ISLH:

It was really great to see you, too! I'm sorry I got a bit down at the end, but I was better the next day. I think I was hormonal or something, lol!

The reason why you can only stand them for 5 mins is because they are not the right one for you. And that is what you deserve so take the time you need to find him

I know you're right about this. You know, I was alone in my M for so long - a good 5 or so years before we split - that I feel like it's time, already!! I am sick of it. The truth is, no matter how many friends and activities I have, I still want someone to share my life with. OTOH, I don't want just anyone, so I guess that's what I have to keep in mind. If I didn't care who it was, I could have someone in a matter of days. But I do care...so I guess I'll have to be - argh - PATIENT!!

While your H chose to leave his family and start a new one, your son did not and does not HAVE TO accept or get along with gf's son. He didn't have a choice, your stbx did.

He doesn't seem to get this. I have told him that he can't force a R btwn the boys, but he seems to think he can. Of course, it turns out he's also lied to me, telling me they get along fine, and then the gf calls to say she can't take it anymore! Hmmmm - I see trouble a-brewing there.

Thanks again for your support, and love to you as always.


amd:

Thanks for stopping by, my friend; it's always nice to hear from you.

[Lissie]

Hey YOu.

Nice to see you over here.

Am I to late for booze?

Besos for you my friend.

[amd]

The truth is, no matter how many friends and activities I have, I still want someone to share my life with. OTOH, I don't want just anyone, so I guess that's what I have to keep in mind. If I didn't care who it was, I could have someone in a matter of days. But I do care...so I guess I'll have to be - argh - PATIENT!!

I hear you, woman! I still hope this person will be my H, but I think about the possibility of being with someone else...I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess. Just wanted you to know that you're not the only one who wants to love and be loved. Be well.

[Matilda2]

I just want God to hurry up and bring us together, lol!

and that way you can skip the frustration of trying to meet someone who is actually worth dating

[princess_nic]

Well, I see I haven't posted in quite some time. The negotiating drags on. I sent stbx a proposal six weeks ago, but no response. I asked him about it yesterday - very pleasantly, via email - and he gave me a sarcastic answer back (your L took so long, it wasn't well done, did you really think I'd accept it as is?). Why so nasty? He's getting what he wants, isn't he? So much anger...

So yesterday, after sending me that little love note, he calls all sweet as pie, and asks me if I want to have the kids Sat night b/c he has a "work thing" to go to. Right - Saturday night, two days after Valentine's, he's taking his gf to a work dinner. What am I - brain dead??!! I told him I had plans (yeah - plans to stay home alone and watch a movie, lol), so he asked me for my babysitter's phone no. I didn't want to tell him, but she's good and the kids like her, so I did. (Saw her today and she said I'd always have priority.) WTF is that? I'm supposed to provide free babysitting so he can go out for a romantic dinner?

ARGH!!!

Anyway, this is why we're not married anymore, right? He's a self-centred SOB!

I'm going to check up on a few people now.

Love,
Nicola

[Lissie]

I see That the Rey of sinshine AKA as your X is still up to his old antics.

AHH gotta love it.

WHat movies are you gonna watch for Vday?

Don't forget the wine, babes.