(((((Ali))))) If I was trying to imagine how things could improve in your situation it would look almost exactly like what's happening! I really can't see how it could go better. Going home when he s down makes so much sense right now, he is connecting with the familiar. He is also connecting with you! Have patience! I don't think he is done reconnecting, but you have to give him time. If he decides he made a mistake, it is going to be really hard for him to admit it, you can't push him!
Have a great trip! (I don't think the flight to Berlin is as long as you are thinking! You'll be fine!)
He is contacting you. Things cannot go back to how they were overnight. As a matter of fact, things cannot go back to how they were if you want to be with him in the long run. You have to create a new and better relationship.
So stop focusing on how things used to be, enjoy the reconnection and the friendship.
And most importantly, have fun on your trip!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Thanks guys, not feeling too good. Woke up ill, all hot and cold and chesty and feel rubbish. Did a viewing on the flat and the person may want to buy it..they want to come back later in the week for a 2nd look! I'm wondering if I might not just stay home and not go away. And with the tenant issues ongoing.
I was wondering if I should chance a text message to my BF saying, "hope you got back safely and are ok. We should talk about the mortgage sometime when you are free" or something??
I havent heard from him today, but he said he thought he might be back on Monday. I am worried that he let his guard down and told me he was feeling low and all I said "sorry to hear that your feeling low" and then went on about films and guitar playing!? Maybe I didnt give him an opening to tell me why he was low (I'm not delusional though, I dont doubt he wouldnt have told me anyway, even if I had asked him directly!)
I cracked and rang about the mortgage today (as he still hasnt requested a remortgage and its nearly March now)...he had given them the wrong information so the rate we are eligible for is way higher than the one he quoted me. This wasnt a surprise to me but a real blow. The rent is much less than the new mortgage and I am worried how he will react to this, but I cant do anything about it. I just dont want to be the one to explain it to him ! He is stressed about money as it is (think its just dawned on him how expensive it is to live alone, as he hasnt EVER! He was moaning last weekend about having no money left).
Wondering if I shouldnt chance a little contact anyway, seeing as we were increased contact and he did fess up that he felt down and although I'm not supposed to, I am worried about him!?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
(((((Ali))))) Sorry you are feeling poorly! (I still remember a little English!) I hope you are felling better soon. IF you dont' go on your trip, make sure you are just postponing it, not cancelling it! Travelling when you are ill is no fun, though!
Since you really do need to address the mortgage, how about "I hope you are feeling better. We should talk about the mortgage sometime when you are free" That way you are not putting any expectations onto his return.
what's going on? Why are you letting your "negative Ali" drive your "positive Ali" crazy? Get some apirin, vitamin, δυναμωτικά (that's greek), whatever, and get your a$$ ready for the trip... No excuses!!
Can this thing about the mortage wait until you come back? If yes, put it on hold for a couple of days.
Hmm..yes the mortgage can wait! Thanks for your concern. I'm not doing too good, I am wondering whether I may have depression, I cant seem to pull myself out of this negative feeling. People say its positive that he is contacting me, and all I see is, yes but he is still not saying to me he has any doubts. And on top of that...its nearly 4 months since he left and I am not any where near over it! I still cry alot and miss him terribly. I wish I could be as blase and positive as you Kalni! I am actually feeling like a bit of a failure this evening as I just cant seem to pull myself together and either get over him, or at least get on with my life without it still being so important. I think about him every day.
I've broken with men in the past, two that I lived with, but I was fine after a few weeks. Not still crying 4 months later.
I think I feel too exhausted to go away. It would be a bit rubbish not to go though. I havent texted him.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
All of us have bad days, and most of us went through some type of serious depression. A lot of the people on this BB have been on or are on anti-depressants. If you think it would help, talk to a doctor.
The other thing that will help is to take care of yourself and get over this flu/cold you have.
The other thing that will help is to take a break and go to Berlin. So, if you are well enough to travel, GO and have fun!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Since you're on the topic of anti-depressants are there any natural remedies for this? My doctor doesn't believe that I'm depressed.. but I think I may be becoming so.
(((Ali))), I hope you have a wonderful time in Berlin!!!
And if you wouldn't mind would you please tell me what moon I'm in and if the eclipse affected me at all?? I'm a scorpio and my birthday is October 31, 1973. H is a scorpio too and his birthday is November 11, 1975.
I've heard St. John's Wort helps with depression symptoms. You can get that at any local pharmacy or vitamin store.
Ali, I'm also interested in learning about my moon and what the eclipse did/didn't do for me. Can you please email me and I'll give you the info you need.
And, I agree. If you're well enough, then definately get to Berlin. You've already psyched yourself up for the trip with your fear of flying and all, so why start that all over again.
