Hey Kalni! You are so fab! No need to apologise at all, my greek countepart! We are the two fishes, trying to swim in calmer waters :-) I love that you are so perceptive and pick up on my emotions ! Its great being a Piscean, I also operate entirely on gut insticts and intuition. I dont know about you, but this DBing is so strange, because you have to ignore your usual inner voice, but operate through your mind instead...it takes getting used to!
Shall I tell you how my day has gone, to reassure you I am ok!? Firstly, I feel iller..I have been hugging the radiator and feeling sick and dizzy, so I have just had gallons of tea and biscuits. Secondly, I spoke to the Lawyer and he thinks these girls are trying to intimidate me, but have no grounds to and that I should give them notice to leave. Hurrah! I will, if the viewing goes well tommorow, as they want to move out anyway. So thats a relief.
Thirdly...talking of intuition, I decided to follow mine today and reach out to my BF and EMAIL him and actually say some more honest things. I wanted to do this and I didnt post to the site for once, I just did it! I guess I was thikning things were moving along and maybe its time to be brave (not as brave as kiss-em-full-on-the-lips-Kalni!) and inititiate some contact and monitor the results. I told him how sorry I was to hear he was down and asked him if it helped being back home on the weekend and that I hoped he felt ok today.
Well, he replied within 20 minutes, with a long email back!! He said he'd been meaning to email me all day (Yay!!) but was very very busy at work. He told me how bad he felt on Saturday, he'd gone home and got really really drunk (not again!) and upset a friend and lost his IPod (blimey!) and that he is still sleeping really badly.
He thanked me for doing some jobs for our house and told me hes leaving work now, but to contact him at the office tommorow! Oh and he was massively impressed I can now play Street Spirit :-)
He also said, directly, "Are you OK?" - so, shall I try be a bit more honest and reply to that question, as I havent done so far. I'm thinking of saying I am ok, but had a few problems with a robbery, but I'm not in the nick yet ! (translation - Police station) tell him but make light of it? Got to think of a response!
I'm feeling worse physically :-( but loads better emotionally :-) and I am soooo glad I didnt go to Berlin. Who wants to go to some fab foreign city and swan about enjoying the amazing works of modern art ? Huh! Not me! Well, ok, it would've been nice, but it was just really bad timing to be out of the country.
Kalni, love and hugs to you back!!
Ali x
PS: (((Jeff)))...NO WAY !!! Like I said before about that OM (British saying, apologies if it offends anyone...) I wouldnt p*ss on him if he was on fire !! ;-)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
(((((Ali))))) I thought that was the case, but I wanted to make sure! For the time being, for everyone's comfort, maybe you go to Paris, or Rome, or someplace, rather than Berlin. Save that for after you and BF are back together!
If I am remembering right, "Are you OK?" translates to "How are you?" in American. I kind of like your response! Ali, he isn't done, I really believe that. Keep your patience, my over analyzing friend!
Sounds like you are feeling really good about the connection you established with you BF! This is excellent news, and it seems like he really welcomed your initiating /extending the contact in this new way. Good for you to have the courage to choose this on your end. Almost sounds like he's struggling more (and differently) than you are at this time. I want you to consider using that thought to further ground and strengthen yourself!
When I was reading about your dilemma about Berlin, going there just didn't sound like it was quite the right fit from your own words and feelings. I'm glad you chose to stay...but I agree that perhaps another trip elsewhere at some point could be a nice thing for you. After all, it needs to be doing something for you that helps you to be stronger and feel good.
Sorry to hear you are physically so sick. I hope you get better soon.
Well, I took another risk (eek). I replied, a longish jokey friendly email. I asked him several questions,like hows work, how did you lose your IPod, sorry about your Dads huose, are the windows insured...
I also answered his question "are you ok?" for once. I said I was ok-ish (eeek !?? Just couldnt lie in the end), that my tenants got burgarled and were trying to stitch me up like a bayuex tapestry ! :-) Told him the good news though was we had a viewing on the flat and a 2nd view tonight, so fingers crossed.
Ended it by saying I was sorry hes still not sleeping and hope you got some better sleep last night.
So, pretty normal email really, not particularly DB friendly but not gushing and emotional either. We'll see. Think I am getting tired of this now! But also..as I am an astrologer, I know the astrological time frame for signs of change in this sitch, and thats coming up soon. I have a few dates in mind by when things should begin to alter (but I maddeningly cant see in what way!).
I try not to think about all that, as theres always room for error, but I guess my expectations are that we will get out of this stalemate, however it all ends up. Not sure my email was the best move, but hey ho.
I dont think I will be one of those ones still DBing in a years time, put it that way.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hey Kalni ! Well..there is a new moon in Pisces on 7th March. Then Uranus conjuncts my Sun exactly on the 9th, the day before my Birthday (so is conjunct the Sun in Pisces too), but Uranus already went over yuor Sun last year, although it is still near to it. Uranus is the planet of change. Then also, theres some stuff with Saturn easing up in May, but thats to do with my Moon and my bf Sun in Leo. I think the new moon affects us both though on 7th March !
I just got an email back from my BF and I have been in floods of tears, as although it is long, he just sounds so...distant, matey, detached..theres no sentiment (i know, its not like I expect it), but he just seems to have moved further away, if that were possible. I really think he does just want to be friends, thats all this is about. I dont see any signs at all that he is wanting to come back to me or try again. None. He doesnt even ask me anything , he just waffled on about house issues and said it would be great if I sold the flat and shame about the robbery "thats all you need". He is so separate now, but it has been nearly 4 months since we broke up.
He ended it by saying..
"playing squash at 6 so working til late.
me"
I dont know if thats just by way of conversation, or if he is inviting me to reply, but he didnt ask me any questions at all, so I am not sure he wants a reply and not sure whether to send one or not.
God, feeling better yesterday and today I feel that I should just let go, and I dont mean in a DB sense, but in a its OVER sense.
Ali x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
