Hello HJR and Rob, I agree with Rob's post, i thought that it was great and certainly 'spoke' to me, as i was in a similar situation to the one Rob responded too (see my thread in my signature).
Originally Posted By: HJR
i have since quit but he feels i have had an affair.. which i disagree,
HJR, have you read any of Michelle's books? she explains in detail that what you did is indeed THE SAME THING as having an affair in that it damages the R and destroys trust just like an affair does. It's great that you were able to have that frank, open discussion with your H about your needs, just like Rob recommended. And if he's willing to try to satisfy you, but 'just can't', perhaps the 2 of you can see a sex therapist (not necessarily together at first, but the same one separately and then together, for ex?) best of luck to you, HJR, i know that i still have a LOT of work ahead to rebuild wiht my H so that we don't have an SSM anymore.
Last edited by mamanpc; 04/19/0904:48 PM.
Me49-WAW H46 T25 S17D14S10 Sep.jan08,PA,back Apr08,H PA Dec08,end09 New Thread
robx, that was some great stuff. to bad the stitch didn't continue. I enjoyed it!
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
...In my point of view if you are starved from marriage leave your partner and got divorce. thanks for sharing problem.
Facinating URL tagline? I suppose that advertising in that line of work is important. I guess having a different line of work and interests, I have a different perspective.
From my perspective if one is in a sex starved marriage, one has probably contibuted to that situation in some way. After realizing that one has a problem and you need to figure out a few more things:
(1) What you can do to change the situation, as you have probably helped create the situation in some way either through actions or inactions.
(2) What you really want in your life and what your priorities are? (Is family, marriage, financial security, friendship, or sex more important? Are their interpersonal skills, education, physical fitness things, etc. you need to work on to be the person you want to be?)
Then depending on your feelings for your spouse and what you want for yourself, you should plot your new course in life and change your life, while offering your spouse as much love and support for any changes they wish to make in their life. Then you and your spouse will either remain close to you or you drift apart through steady change on your part until divorce is obvious to both of you.
Again, just a different perspective.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
looks like things are pretty quiet here. I'm looking for tips to rekindle some romance. Neither of us are very interested but I think it'd do us both good.
My 180 is still proving to be tough because I'm still in our home with my wife and children. Which don't get me wrong, I am completely gratefull for, but is very trying to say the least. Interactions with her are pretty limited and very impersonal, and it seems as though she is completely disconnected. As my focus through the holidays has been my children, and as I'm cooking, cleaning, and looking after my children. She is having lunch with friends, glued to her phone, and kinda in another world. I told her Christmas Day that I would not be moving out, because I chose not to...her response was pretty limited, and she agreed that she couldn't still say that she didn't have hope for our R. But REALLY, actions Speak louder than words....
What your observing is you are no longer a priority to her. Doing more, being more responsible and loving will not help you here. Id get out of that house, stop talking to her and stop helping her. You could also cheat on her to shock her. Do what everyone else tried to do and you get tge same result. Id let that cheater go if I were you.
Originally Posted By: Chrispy
My 180 is still proving to be tough because I'm still in our home with my wife and children. Which don't get me wrong, I am completely gratefull for, but is very trying to say the least. Interactions with her are pretty limited and very impersonal, and it seems as though she is completely disconnected. As my focus through the holidays has been my children, and as I'm cooking, cleaning, and looking after my children. She is having lunch with friends, glued to her phone, and kinda in another world. I told her Christmas Day that I would not be moving out, because I chose not to...her response was pretty limited, and she agreed that she couldn't still say that she didn't have hope for our R. But REALLY, actions Speak louder than words....
While your family is all together during this Holiday season, it is not easy to work through these problems alone. Help from a Divorce Busting Coach would be extremely helpful right now. Take this time and opportunity to learn what you can say and do differently, to bring about positive responses from your wife. Call me and I'd be happy to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004
Roberta, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 Roberta@divorcebusting.com
I wish very much that I could do the coaching, but unfortunately I can't afford it...It seems as if I just had someone to talk to right now. For someone to listen to what's going on right now. More than anything right now I feel very alone, as she acts like everything is roses. I feel like she is doing this to get underneath my skin....and as much as it does I refuse to let her see it.... I know that she knows she is making a bad decision by choosing to not work on things, but her mind seems to be made up at this point.... All that being said, I will not move out...I must rely on The Lord for strength and patience....please Lord.....
