Hey! Thanks everybody! I think of you all often. You are all doing good work out there. Don't ever forget it. It's not the outcome, it's the work you do. Whatever happens, the work you are doing now is good for you, good for your family, good the world.
I'm not doing so well. If life is a book, I am in between chapters right now. I liked the prior chapter, except for the ending! I'm not so sure what the new chapter will bring. I know I have pretty much lost everything I truly valued, so I am starting over, in every way.
Anyway don't worry too much about me. I'll find a way. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Hey SPM, sorry you are not doing well. I know it feels like you have lost everything, but really, as long as you havent lost yourself, you will be ok. You know, I could give you all the platitudes about how hard times make you stronger and all that. And that you must go through something in order to come out the other side. And they are all true. But sometimes its ok to just say, it sucks what you are going through, its not right and its unfair.
Having said that, this journey that we find ourselves on really is eye-opening and soul searching, isnt it? And while I know you would rather anything else but what is happening, I really feel that in the end, we will be better people for having gone through it.
Please remember that you are a man of worth, that you are a wonderful father who loves his children, and that you are an honest, caring human being. She cant take away your worth, your dignity, your honesty or your truth. I know you will be ok, I just know it.
I'll chime in with my two cents' worth of empathy. So sorry to hear about your situation, and how much it hurts, because no matter what they say or do that is mean, etc. we still feel the hurt of rejection. Just settle with that hurt for a while; don't run from it. Face it squarely. This is a long process, one in which you will likely cycle through many emotions. The key is to be self-aware through the whole thing, no matter how much it hurts. False band-aids might work temporarily, but they won't get to the deeper wounds that you have suffered. Look deep within yourself for what you feel you need to learn from this, and look inside yourself, and to your friends here and in person, for the strength to carry on one step at a time. Take care.
I know you are struggling and life is not fun. I thought of throwing in the towel and just disappearing, but we both know that can't be done. However, it was nice to think about leaving the pain for a while.
In any event, let us know what you need and we'll keep you in our thoughts along the way.
I'll talk to you later, my friend.
RTL PS - I started the parenting evaluation process and I'd like to fill you in on it sometime. You can check my threads for what I've posted on it and you can e-mail me and we can discuss specifics as well. RTL
It's nice of you all to check up on me from time to time. Thank you for the good thoughts.
I'm doing ok. My situation is sort of the same - I am shut out of everything that was important to me. But I am hopeful that I will have 50% residential time with my kids. I'm looking to rent a house soon, a place I cannot really afford, but time with my kids is more important.
W has deepened the allegations against me to include sexual abuse. I am not clear on the specifics of the allegation, but it is now there. At first this was deeply troubling to me, but then I thought - this cannot hurt me. It can only help. It will be proven for what it is, utterly false. And the accusation itself will show the depths to which my wife has sunk. It is sad that she alleges it, and I do not look forward to continually refuting these allegations in court. But I think overall it is a net positive for me. Next I hope she accuses me of chopping up small children and cooking them in stew.
In other news, I hear through the friend network that OM apparently is going to jail for his two DUI arrests. W still maintains a relationship with him. I wonder if his incarceration will shake something loose for my crazy W.
Oh, wait, they are in love. that's right, I forgot.
I am sending all of YOU good thoughts too. Sorry I haven't been around on theboard to chat and comiserate and encourage lately. I just didn't have it in me.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
