H- I don't love her. I'm with you, aren't I? I love you. M- You know I love you, but I can't do this anymore. H- I love you. M- Then why aren't you home? H- I'm working on it.
NCB, Yes, I agree he has gotten himself into a major pickle and can't figure out quite how to get out of it. The qoute above has had me wondering what he meant when he said he was working on it. At the time I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't ask him how he was working on it.
As you know the OW is his secretary. She divorced her husband, it was final in August. I have read so many times, that the WAS will feel guilty about what they have also involved OP in. It's hard for us to see this, but time and time again I see proof of this on these threads.
My DD19 has started working part-time for H, he is a contractor. Last night he was telling me how good she was getting at reading blue prints and helping him take off material on them. You know how your mind starts thinking, well, I'm wondering if he isn't trying to train DD19 to do OW's job and maybe the OW will quit if she gets fed up enough.
I think H is feeling guilty that OW divorced her H and this is her source of income. Funny, though how they don't seem to feel guilty of what they did to their families...
Again, my mind is just working overtime, perhaps. I won't put too much stock into it.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You are probably right here. He feels guilty toward her, and she probably reminds him all the time that he was supposed to ditch you and marry her and make all her wishes come true. A real heartbreaker; I have tears in my eyes as I type this. NOT! I hope she will find herself another job. That would solve a lot of problems.
I think she is a gold digger through and through! I'm sure she does remind him every chance that she gets. I'm sure she is not happy with DD19 working there. She doesn't have much alone time with him at work now. He is out of the office a lot and when he is there, DD is there.
I know everyone says that snooping is a bad thing, and for the most part it is. But...everytime we have been together recently I have managed to look at his phone when we are together and see missed calls from her. This has to be driving her mad when he's not with her like he used to be. I'm sure she knows he is probably with me...
It's nice for me to finally feel a little control and know that perhaps she is loosing some footing. I know that the battle is not over yet by any means, I will continue to keep my guard up.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
In my last period class one of the boys was talking about how much he was dreading giving a speech in another class. I told him that I understood. I don't always like to speak in front of my peers either, but he must do it for a grade. He said "Well, I'll just close my eyes and read my speech." LOL
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I know...I've just got to not get my hopes up and get overconfident. Let him call me...
I worry about you getting sucked back in too soon Yoyo. Sorry to be the voice of doom and gloom but you and I have been at this way too long.. Please be careful. I guess if it feels different this time maybe he's for real.. I hope so.. I know it's what you really want.
Yoyo, I have to say that when my H's A started to die, he started ignoring her calls. She would call and call and call. He would get so frustrated by it. I even heard him flat out lie to her once when he finally answered. She must have b!tched at him for not answering. He said his phone was in his truck. So, based on what I went through, I see it as a good sign that you know your H isn't returning OWs calls (at least not as much).
But ditto on what LO said, don't get sucked in too fast.
It's natural to be apprehensive (scared) about seeing the possible end of this long dark tunnel. One feels afraid to get one's hope up after having been hurt so badly before.
All I can offer is that if you put your faith in God, trust this to His care, you will come out fine. People are fallible; they're human. Placing one's faith so heavily on another person is too much of a burden for them. Eventually they will fail us to one degree or another, sad to say. It's really not fair to you or to them.
This is a hard lesson I've had to learn.
If instead we put that faith in God first and foremost, He will not fail us. It may not turn out the way we originally intended, but it will happen according to His love and understanding of what we truly need, if we let Him. So should/when our mate stumble, then we will be less likely to stumble right along with them as a direct result -- and we are then strong enough and secure enough to be able to help them back up.
Give your love and compassion to your spouse, but put your faith in God first (before your spouse) and it will work out.
(Okay, enough with the sermon.)
I just wanted to let you know I love you guys -- hang in there. I think you're ready.
LOL