I hope you enjoyed the daytime of your vacation even if you couldn't sleep at night. It's too bad W couldn't give you a few mintues to settle back in from your vacation before she was right on you.
No slo-pitch for me yet, it snowed here again yesterday, it won;t start for another month and a half.
Take care and have a good day,
Neecy
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Don't let her dictate the timing and the whole agenda. Do what feels right for you, and what works for you, whether it's little things like how you handled the "mind if I shower first?" thing (excellent), or bigger D things.
You need to look out for yourself, as she obviously no longer has your best interests at heart.
Thanks - I'm okay with the current agenda but will push back if I feel like it. I'm going to continue practicing DB techniques because they make me a better person. Just because my W has poor values doesn't mean I do.
After I posted, I thought more about what she really said to me - "you deserve someone who can make you happy too." Does that just mean that she can only concentrate on herself? She does just think about herself during busy times like this and her family has confronted her with that issue. Or does it mean OM is making her happy? Whatever. I do deserve someone who makes me happy. But it is hard for me to see her R with OM as a lasting one and right now it seems like she's banking everything on that R. For some stupid reason I keep thinking she'll miss me and realize what she's doing, but at this point it feels like too much has happened to repair the damage.
It would probably be easier for her to buy me out on the house. Then I can be rid of it and set up my own space without having to worry about what happens to the house down the road. I'm going to push for her taking more of a hit, though, since the house sale is due to her lying and infidelity. We'll see how that goes over!
After I posted, I thought more about what she really said to me - "you deserve someone who can make you happy too." Does that just mean that she can only concentrate on herself? She does just think about herself during busy times like this
I agree with Puppy. My H has said stuff like this; after we divorce I'll find someone to make me happy, the kids will be happier, and he will as well. I think this is to help them deal with the guilt of what they are doing and to justify their actions. I think they figure that if the affair & divorce will benefit everyone, they aren't being a bad person so instead of being a bad guy they feel more like they are being positive and actually trying to help everyone! in their foggy minds. Karen
No real reason to post other than that this has become a habit. Mind has been spinning all day, but in a way that focuses on me and what I want. Just trying to sort out unknowns of whether to stay in house (I can swing monthly payments but can't buy out W) or move (can leave all this uncertainty behind me and set up my new life). Problem is that the area where I'm at is ridiculous when it comes to rentals and I'm pretty picky. Got depressed when I started looking at what's available.
Have actually been playing hookey - W comes over tonight to discuss D agreement and I just don't feel like facing work problems right now. So I'm hiding, which isn't good, but there it is. I've actually gotten a lot more comfortable with what's going on right now and I need space and time to vent before she comes over.
Hey, hiding is something we've all done, man. It's amazing how many times one can actually re-arrange their armoire drawers if one really works at it. Or sort the medicine cabinet.
Karen