I'll tell ya, I've done my fair share of hiding over the last couple of years. Not a bad thing just don't make it a habit!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you for what you have to deal with tonight. It's not a pleasant process but the expectations of the process is worse than the process it self.
Now-looking, you're right. About a half hour before W showed up I was shaking, but it wasn't at all bad.
And that's the weird part. We had a GREAT dinner/conversation. We laughed, shared, disagreed. We both commented and gave opinions on what each other was doing. If anyone had been watching us, they would have said "they're in love." But no, we were discussing our divorce.
I realize it's the influence of the OM, at least I think I realize that, but I don't think I understand the power of that influence.
Anyway, she's going to buy me out of the house and was willing to offer a mostly fair deal, so I took it. I don't have the cash to buy her out so this way is easier. We discussed a little about splitting up possessions, but decided to deal with it later. She acted like she was about to cry a couple of times but never did. Steely resolve.
She said she was going to ask a friend of mine to serve the papers. Also said that her mother wanted to call me and asked if that'd be okay. What do I say to her mother? I was bending over backwards to save the marriage and your daughter was a b*tch and is having an affair?
Anyway, it's over. As far as DBing, I think she definitely picked up on the fact that I'm moving on and that I'm refinding my ambitions.
Her mother knows about the A. How does she FEEL about it? Good question. But at one point my W told me her mother had told her she should do what she wanted to be happy and the family would support her.
Think they'd be so supportive if their own M was on the line?
Anyway, when I talk to her I'll just say I tried everything I could to save M but didn't feel like anything worked since a third person had been invited into the M.
Good plan. My tack with my in-laws was to proactively expose my wife's affair, and then re-expose only key things (like the time she re-initiated contact, or big lies she was still telling), but other than that just answer THEIR questions with honesty and without sheltering my wife from the consequences of her infidelity.
"Always tell the truth, but you don't have to go around tellin' it" is a good motto to live by in the months that lie ahead of you.
My mom-in-law was great. she works at a local business and after it happened the next time she saw me she gave me a hug and said she had no idea why or what her daughter was doing. She then went on to tell me she would not get involved but she was always there for me. Father-in-law rather cold but that has changed over time. We are still family because of the S8 and he's come to realize that.
As far as what to say everything is there, no reason to go into again with in-laws. Just be cival, take care of business and if anything is brought up then discuss but stay focussed and on task. It's better for everyone.
