GL, thank you for your response, I understand what you are saying. I guess I have really never looked at it like you have stated above. I have always been the one in our M that let our kids be kids as I feel that is important for them in their growing up. She has always been the one to shelter them. I guess I need to take a close look at this as this is one thing she stated a few weeks ago about one of our main issues is in the way we deal with our kids. Again, thank you.
By chance, I see you are new here, have you been through this before or are you going through any of this stuff now?
Well I had a pretty good day, went to see C this morning and S10 had ball practice tonight. Instead of sitting on the sidelines with W, I decided it was time to get back to my life as I have been helping coach for the past 3 years but this year I opted out due to the circumstances I am currently in. So instead of sitting with W and letting her see I am not myself as this has been the routine, I got back out on the field and helped with practice. It felt great and took my mind off things for those 2 hours. I realized I needed to start doing these things again today and made my mind up that when I am at the ballfields I will be out on them instead of on the sidelines, I have never been one to watch anyway, I would rather be participating, it makes time go by faster and is much funner.
Of course when W got there she saw I had my glove out and said oh, are you helping them out tonight? She basically sat in her car to watch with S7 as there were not many mothers there tonight due to a split practice with the team for tonight and tomorrow.
Anyway, all in all, I had a pretty good day and got to relieve my mind from all of what is going on with my sitch.
Excellent job Ping. That's the spirit. Lose yourself in things you enjoy. Get back into golf. The season is just beginning and a few hours on the golf course can do wonders for you. I too am a golfer and find it a good outlet for stress and something to look forward to that is a positive hobby to have.
I do forgive you though for using Ping.
Continue doing things like you did today. Lighten up. Have fun. Enjoy life. Happiness is contagious and attractive to women. It seems like it has been a long time since you have been a happy person. You need to understand that your wife tired of you being negative and in a bad mood much of the time. Always keep that in mind as you make changes in your life. Just go about your business and let her SEE the changes in your attitude and spirit.. It will come through loud and clear if you stay consistent. It's kind of like the U.S. Open... Par is good and pars will usually have you in the running come Sunday.
Thanks GL, so now you know where my screen name came from, I play Pings some of the time but currently playing Mizuno MP60 irons. I have always liked Pings and have a few sets just sitting around.
Yes it did feel good today, I was talking with one of the other fathers at practice that I use to play golf with before all of this happened and we are setting up a date to go and play. Some other friends called today and we are planning a trip to Myrtle Beach in June to go and play for a couple of days. I am going to move on and try my best to stay positive. The bad part of this is I can do this some weeks and then some weeks it's like a ton of bricks hit me and I don't want to do anything, hopefully helping out at practice will keep me more consistent on my goal as that is a few days a week I can be getting involved and not worrying about what is going on.
Again, thanks for your posts on my thread, you seem very knowledgable, are you also going through rough time? I feel for you if you are, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy in life.
One other note I wanted to add to you GL, I have been an avid collector of Scotty Cameron putters and headcovers for over 2 years now, of course my W hated this becuase I spent so much time on Ebay trying to catch that perfect deal. Anyway since our S I have not bought anything to do with my collection, I have around 30 putters and maybe 150 headcovers, well just this past week I got my notification from Scotty's weblist and bought me some of the Masters headcovers along with the Masters Tshirt, I feel since I am not living with W any longer I mine as well do what I liked doing before I left. Now I also realize that if W and I work things out then I will not be spending time on the computer like I use to because she felt I shut her out by always being on the computer and not spending time with her. I can't wait to get my new headcovers in, hopefully I will get lucky and get on the specail 100 made, I have not been lucky yet but I'm due sooner or later. The special 100 made are worth close to $500 and they are sent out at random. My office in our house was nothing but golf clubs, I have probably 12 sets of irons, 5 staff bags and about 50 total putters, I strive to get the hard to find items that you can't find anymore. Ex: Copper Eye 2's new in the box, copper Anser 2's, Zing 2's and B60's. I always try to find something that will be worth good money in the long run. That is what I do with Scotty's putters also, I find the prototypes and his limited production models that will only increase in value in time. Now of course when I left our house, these are the only items I was able to carry, she kept all of the furniture in the house and all household goods.
I also play lady Mizuno's. Husband ONLY plays with Pings. He was so distraught when I went out (ON MY OWN) and bought my Mizuno clubs...... Mx-25's. Great Forged set. I wanted Maruman Lady clubs, but I thought if I dropped 4K, he'd KILL ME! I was playing Callaway X-20's and hated them. I sold em on Ebay. I love my Mizuno Driver. I did win a big Bertha driver and to save my life I can't hit the damn thing. Men love to have me on their team during captain choice wing-dings because I get to hit from the ladies tee's and I am a long, straight driver.... I pulled this thing out... and my partner said.... "give me that damn thing, I don't ever want to see you hit that thing again". I am too short for it. Every once and awhile I try and put it back in the bag....
M: 39 H: 40 D: 12 S: 9 Married: 10 years Together: 11 years Dday- March 14th, 2008 Bomb-I don't love you-Easter 2008
Currently-living in same home, slowly working back towards a marriage.
I have a scotty cameron putter Futura Phantom and an Odyssey two ball putter. Have you seen the new white hot putter that's out? Sabertooth? I am going to look at it this weekend. I think it came out in March.
M: 39 H: 40 D: 12 S: 9 Married: 10 years Together: 11 years Dday- March 14th, 2008 Bomb-I don't love you-Easter 2008
Currently-living in same home, slowly working back towards a marriage.
I am going to move on and try my best to stay positive. The bad part of this is I can do this some weeks and then some weeks it's like a ton of bricks hit me and I don't want to do anything,
Don't go by your "feelings". Make decisions based on logic and common sense. You CAN do it all the time. DISCIPLINE yourself. You have to stop this negative talk and self talk. It is things like this that helped to drive your wife away. Stay focused. One shot at a time. Act happy. Be happy. Fake it if you have to. No woman wants an unhappy, negative man. Woman like upbeat, happy, confident men. Be one. Take the bull by the horns here. Show her you have had an awakening. (notice I did NOT say to TELL her or keep asking her if she has noticed your changes.. DO NOT DO THAT)
Do your own laundry. Let her ask you why you don't drop it off anymore. If she never does ask, then LET IT GO.
What does NIKE say...... "Just do it"
Enjoy your golf. Most women do not want to deprive us of our hobbies. They only have issues with it if they FEEL it has become more important than she is. At this point it will not do you any harm to focus a lot of attention to golf. It may even be to your benefit as it will take pressure off of her, which is what you have to do right now.
Don't worry. As you pull back (politely and not to be mean) you will slowly start to see her coming toward you. (a typical phenomenon in most all relationships) PATIENCE wins. Be nice to her. Say hi. Be the first to walk away. (politely) Stop doing any initiating of much of anything for awhile. Make your own decisions and come across as decisive. She has actually needed you to be the stronger one "emotionally". She has not viewed you as the "stronger" one yet. Become the stronger one. The attitude should always be... "Don't worry honey, I CAN HANDLE IT"
Then handle it with no thoughts of getting a pat on the back.
One other note I wanted to add to you GL, I have been an avid collector of Scotty Cameron putters and headcovers for over 2 years now, of course my W hated this becuase I spent so much time on Ebay trying to catch that perfect deal. Anyway since our S I have not bought anything to do with my collection, I have around 30 putters and maybe 150 headcovers, well just this past week I got my notification from Scotty's weblist and bought me some of the Masters headcovers along with the Masters Tshirt, I feel since I am not living with W any longer I mine as well do what I liked doing before I left. Now I also realize that if W and I work things out then I will not be spending time on the computer like I use to because she felt I shut her out by always being on the computer and not spending time with her. I can't wait to get my new headcovers in, hopefully I will get lucky and get on the specail 100 made, I have not been lucky yet but I'm due sooner or later. The special 100 made are worth close to $500 and they are sent out at random. My office in our house was nothing but golf clubs, I have probably 12 sets of irons, 5 staff bags and about 50 total putters, I strive to get the hard to find items that you can't find anymore. Ex: Copper Eye 2's new in the box, copper Anser 2's, Zing 2's and B60's. I always try to find something that will be worth good money in the long run. That is what I do with Scotty's putters also, I find the prototypes and his limited production models that will only increase in value in time. Now of course when I left our house, these are the only items I was able to carry, she kept all of the furniture in the house and all household goods.
Good for you and great job. My office is also quite the masterpiece of sports. (golf is one of my main passions).
When and if we can get your wife turned around, I can help you to learn how to balance your passion of golf with keeping your wife happy. Once you get how to do it, it is a piece of cake. She will actually be on the lookout FOR you in your quest for your collection. Let's not talk about that unless or until the time comes.
It is ok for you to enjoy your hobbies while she is acting like she wants out. It is actually a plus for you to pursue them. Remember to let her wonder what you are up to regarding your life. Keep your cards close to your vest. Stay happy, act happy. Enjoy life. Look for and find the good in your life. You need to be ready for her when and if she comes back. You might as well learn right now how to get and stay happy so that it is already a disciplined habit that you have control over. At this point you aren't even ready for her to come back and you and she both know it. It's like you are thinking you are going to turn pro and you haven't even won an amateur event yet in your local club or town. First things first.
RWS, you sound like you are a good golfer. Yes I have seen the new Callaway Sabertooth, it looks to be a good putter. I can never get use to anything other than an offset putter such as an Anser 2 lookalike or a B60 and its close replica's. Something about a mallet style putter does not fit my style on the greens, I also change putters quite often, makes me feel like I will sink more putts although that is all just in my head. LOL.
