Ready2Change (II) - Detached

[Ready2Change]

Sadly, I don't think W heard anything Michele said....

W also turning my words around...

I completely moved out (all my thing on 4/19) of our master bedroom, and now am in one of the smaller rooms.

[Ready2Change]

I had several good conversations with several people today. I also me a woman who's husband left her and D 4 months ago. I may have someone local to relate too.

[Ready2Change]

W is under the impression I agreed to leave the house in the next week. I told her I would start packing as part of agreement to see Michele.

AHHHHHH <<<---- Me screaming again!

Thank God W will be gone for 5 days, then she leaving again with kids for 5 more days. I need a break....

[Ready2Change]

The more I reflect on things, the more I think my W has been "checked out" for several years. I think I have been "Checked out to". I think we both stayed together for the kids.

Was not too hard to detach. I look at my Alien W and do not find her physical attractive. Funny how the mind works.

[Ready2Change]

Yesterday: W got angry when I addressed the issue that we need to make a joint decission about the kids if they are to be "dropped off" at someone's house.

[Ready2Change]

Today Good

W left for 5 day training class for work. Will be nice to have some space.

Kids and I went to church. I was invited to BBQ party and accepted. We stayed at the party for about 7 hours. Kids and I had a good time. I met a lot of nice people. Felt good to have some good conversations with new people.

[Ready2Change]

1. What do I really, really, really want?
Time and Space away from W
2. Happiest moment today:
So many good things today. I pick holding a baby for awhile at the party.
3. Refine my mantra
I can get the kids clothes ready without W

[Ready2Change]

I might as well put these in my thread so I can find them again:

How to Detach website

EFT Site

[Runswithscissors]

R2C,

What are you going to do in order to acheive what you want?
You've detached, she's detached. Now what?

[Ready2Change]

(W out of town till Thursday. Then Gone Friday-Tuesday with kids. So we get a break from each other.)

I am going to enjoy my kids.
I am going to keep up on the 180s.
I am going to take back control of things I gave up to W.
I am going to meet new people.
I am going to be pleasant around W (and Kids and Inlaws etc).
I am going to give W space to help her reduce negative feelings (this may take a long time)
I am going to respond to wife with "I am sorry you feel that way"
I am going to respond to wife with "I understand you feel that way"
I am going to see several lawyers to help protect myself.

W communicated several times on Thursday. (one was the "be careful" message to me since bomb!) I made W mad Friday by addressing a co-parenting issue. So I backslid. She said "I am not talking to you anymore!"


Current baby step goals:

1) W says goodnight to me first. (This has been hanging for many weeks and I not expecting it for a while due to backslide)
2) Eye contact from W.
3) W initiates conversation with me.
4) Phone call or text from W.