Yesterday was hard, going through all the pictures of our life together. W and I have been through a lot of unique experiences together. It wasn't until, at her urging and supposed support, that I entered graduate school and everything went to hell that those memories stopped. Oh well, it is what it is. Ultimately it's better that I find someone who WILL be supportive rather than someone who looks for a new companion at the first sign of trouble.
I didn't respond to W, so she emailed later saying she'd like to help and asked what my plans were regarding this week. At first I thought of dashing off some snarky remark, but decided she didn't realize how her offer was coming across and she probably was thinking she was being magnanimous in a difficult period. I'm certainly capable of doing likewise and should always take the high road.
So I emailed back that I appreciated her offer but was doing okay, that I appreciated the fact that both of us needed free time to arrange our respective homes so was trying to be out of the house before the weekend, and that I hoped she enjoyed her camping trip since the weather was so beautiful.
Thanks for checking on me. I'm all moved and, more importantly, my wireless is back up and running!
Man, I can't tell you how much being in a new place has improved my attitude! I have a lot to unpack, and it's going to cost me a small fortune to get furniture and new housewares, but it wasn't worth trying to divide everything. I'm taking the high road. So things are a bit bare right now, but my place is light, airy, and cheery! I feel the best I've felt in months.
W emailed today saying she hoped I'd feel comfortable inviting her over to my new place. I responded by telling her she was always welcome to drop by (put it in her court!) and that I wasn't uncomfortable with her. Of course, will she invite me over to her place? For a dinner alone? For a party? It'd be pretty awkward, so don't know what she's thinking. Maybe over time, but not while we're waiting for the D to be final.
Just think a clean slate. You can do anything you want with it. Make it your haven. I am so excited for you. I have an idea up my sleeve to make that happen for me too but without having to move. Just know that you are never alone we are all here for you when ever you need us...and even when you don't. LOL kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Did your wireless back up and run away? or just busy?
I'd love bare light airy and cheery! Good attitude to make a fresh start. But then...
Quote:
W emailed today saying she hoped I'd feel comfortable inviting her over to my new place. I responded by telling her she was always welcome to drop by (put it in her court!) and that I wasn't uncomfortable with her.
Why would you want to go back to the same clutter? You've got your place now, get out of her life and get her out of yours. It will be 'out of sight out of mind' OR 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.
I almost rode my bike the other night.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I had to wait for wireless to get installed in my new place. You don't realize how much you use internet until you don't have access!
You ask why I'm letting W come by - because I'm curious what will happen. I've shown nothing but patience and understanding towards her and she knows it. She's stuck in a spot of missing my friendship and realizing what she said a few weeks ago - that she's not a very good person. For me to continue being upbeat and welcoming only drives that home. So I'm curious how she'll handle herself. I'll bet anything she's curious as hell and so will probably stop by before the weekend is over.
ALMOST rode your bike?! RIDE your bike! I need to fix mine in a big way - no brakes left.
No word from W yet. I headed over to the coast for the day, but fog set in and it was cold. Still, nice to have a change of scenery.
I think I'm pretty much done unpacking. Now comes the reorganization - oh boy! I have to say, my place is great! I feel good in it, though alone. Babysat a friend's 9 year old boy the other night. It was a lot of fun - we roughhoused all night. But I also felt kind of crappy, watching my friend leave for a date with her new boyfriend - both of them dressed up - and I was left with the boy. Felt like I'd never be with someone again.
No word from W. I feel like I've really let go, though I can't help but wonder what she's feeling, in our house all alone amongst the shattered memories of our 12 years together. Or maybe she's just focused on OM, who knows.
Little down at the moment after days of trying to get set up in a new house. I have to say, I feel like I have a sign around my neck - "divorcing" - because of having to go through Ikea and Target and other places where I load up on housewares and cleaning supplies, etc. I feel overwhelmed at having to replace everything - pathetic.
I think that you have done pretty good. If my sitch goes the way yours has, then I know that I will have taken the higher road.
Just think of something different for the sign to say. Suggestions anyone?
Not sure how to read your W. It seems like she doesn't know what she wants. Don't want to start the "hope" pep talk, but she keeps on wanting to see you. I understand what WCW is saying to you, but I totally understand your thinking, also.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
or just busy?