I want to distance myself from her because I don't understand where she's coming from more than I want to see her flounder.
I agree. I don't want H miserable and lost. I don't want him to suffer, but I need distance from the crazy.
Quote:
She claimed to make $140,000 per month.
Wow, now that's a good living.
I agree with Puppy, they are so distracted during this time, they can't focus. I needed to install a very detailed dry erase board (with work schedules, etc) in our kitchen, because not only is H distracted a lot, he just plain doesn't listen to me. Its very frustrating.
Thanks lwb! In the privacy of my home and head, I'm not so great, but outwardly, I'm trying to be confidant and upbeat.
Tough day yesterday - got most of the sorting done. So many memories I'd not thought about for a long time. It's hard to enjoy them rather than regret them in light of the current sitch.
Something happened that's very painful for a friend of mine and puts my own sitch in sharp perspective. This friend is a co-worker and, having D 5 years ago, has been incredibly supportive of me over the past months. After her D, she had a series of relationships that never really worked because she was so anxious to be with someone again (something she's warned me repeatedly against). Finally she met someone who she really connected with and they've begun a great relationship.
But he had been in a short relationship with someone before her and this person ended up being a little unstable. He has been in the US as a professor for many years, but has never applied for citizenship, so only has a green card. To get back at him for dumping her, his ex-GF filed battery charges against him in a very conservative county. 99% of these cases in this county are convicted, though usually only as a misdemeanor with a hand-slap fine. Problem is, even as a misdemeanor it means deportation for him - away from his kids, away from his job, away from his life, and away from the relationship with my friend. He'd never be allowed to return to the US.
So they've begun the process of trying to find a lawyer who can help. Watching this, I have to admit that as painful as my W's A and the ending of my M is, things could be so much worse! It's hard sometimes to count your blessings when you take them for granted.
In the privacy of my home and head, I'm not so great, but outwardly, I'm trying to be confidant and upbeat.
I hear ya!!! I go to therapy maybe once a month and just went last week. She commended me on how well I am doing, how strong I appear. She said everything I am going through is normal. I said "Yeah, but you aren't in my head. There's all sorts of crazy up there". She smiled and said, "Even if I was in your head, I'd see normal.". Ok, phew.
Wow to your co-workers situation. Things could be so much worse. I have a new little fear in my head that I will get sick and not be able to care for my girls. Its not rational, but it is making me thankful everyday for my health. I am also thankful that while my H is being very selfish with HIS life, he continues to keep the girls safe and happy when he has them. I try to remember how much worse things could be.
Isn't that acting "as if"? Even if you are not feeling it, do it. Then the feeling will follow. Just like love is a choice, so is happiness (most of the time, anyway). We criticize our WAS's about not choosing love, we can criticize ourselves about not choosing happiness.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
true, gforce, very true. I need to take that to heart.
W is still trying to be a pal. I went for a run and while I was gone she called to say she was on her way over to drop off the camping gear. She said she'd be happy to help me pack if I'd like.
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but anyone out there think there is anything more awkward than having your W who has just filed for D after saying she wants to try R with OM come and help you pack up your things? I'm sure in her world that was a very nice gesture and not adding insult to injury.
I'm sure in her world that was a very nice gesture and not adding insult to injury.
My H makes sure there is food prepared in the fridge at all times...chicken salad, lettuce ready for a salad, egg salad, fresh fruit cut up, cheese shredded..you name it. He constantly asks "Did you try the ____?" and wants feedback. I want to say "The egg salad was amazing, but the divorce sucks". But I thank him and move on with my day.
Yes, in her world, for whatever reason, she wants to help you. If you can't avoid it altogether, then I suppose accept it, thank her and move on.
lodo, if you responded to your W I hope it was something like 'thanks for your offer that you'd be happy to help but find something else to make you happy, I don't need to fill that ticket anymore'.
Chin up.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
