MLC dribble...thats what makes me realize at this point he isnt emotionally done with ow. In his mind that affair was not a mistake, ok im assuming but.....that would be my take. When he can tell her it was a horrible mistake and never should have happened well then well have something.....
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
And until he actually comes to that realization you have a couple of choices.....
A. Do nothing. Just continue to live your life as it is now, and patiently wait with absolutely no expectations of anything changing.
B. Move out, and get yourself some councelling. Continue to date him, see him, but not live together as a Married couple.
C. Stay at home, and live in the same house with your Husband. GAL and do things to make yourself happy. Treat him as a roomie and accept that is all you have for now, but with the hopes that he will eventually come out of this MLC.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I can tell you that it takes time for them (MLC'er) to see the errors...they don't want to because it does hurt to face your mistakes...
My H didn't admit OW was mistake for well over a year...I kept quiet about it...during the time he left and through this phase he was convinced that she had "saved his life"...those were his feelings until he had been home for a while...now he feels very differently...so while he may be over OW...he still has to reconcile things in his brain...it takes time...and it takes love, kindness, and patience on your part...
So I would like to add a D to what BND wrote
D. Continue to GAL, show unconditional love, avoid confrontation, show him the new and improved you...be patient, kind, and give him time... So hang in there...the light is showing at the end of the tunnel...Lin
I am so sorry that this piecing stuff is so tough...You are a wonderful woman and I do agree very much with Lin, that at this moment your H is not quite ready to 'see' things.
Be patient sweety..I have a good feeling about you two ...
Take care ((((((hugs))))))
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hi a new 2moro, Well, your H is finally doing something about OW living in the apartment. I hope he will follow it through. Good luck and have a lovely week-end. (((HUGS)))
Saffie, i gotta figure out shipping. this weekend i host a saddle flocking clinic with a very well known saddle fitter.
I believe H is gonna make an offer on the horse I looked at. I hope it works out it will be my "ME" thing.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
H emailed the owner...guess we will see, fingers crossed. but if it doesnt it doesnt...im used to zero expectations.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Patti, can you email me and tell me what's so good about those back pads please? I think it might be just what my friend's Morgan needs but I can't find out enough information to make a decision.
Thanks
Hope the saddle flocking weekend went well - would love to learn about that!!!
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
