Searching for the truth..for me 5

[sgctxok]

You can get free consults. Call it something different, like an 'interview'.

[LL44]

phbear. Wow. You are doing all the right things. I know, they feel wrong, its not what you want but you are with the knowledge that you are protecting yourself. I just told H last night "I don't have a choice on the divorce, but I have a choice to be a wreck or to be fine. I am choosing to be fine.".

Many many attys give you a free initial consult (usually 30 minutes). Look around for a couple of those.

Head up girl.

And hand me a chocolate pie please.

[phbear316]

lwb

Your words ring so clear and true. This is not what I want but have no choice either. I too choose not to be a wreck, been there done that. I too choose fine, I will get thru this with my head held high.

For that I know is true, one step at a time, for this is my now. I am moving forward with this.

Sure one pie coming up!!!

bear

[sgctxok]

can you help maryangela

[phbear316]

OK SG

One thing me? I oh wow, um. Do you think I can?

I am honored if you think I could.

You know what yes I can, I will find her stitch now and see what I can do

SG,
Thank you for believing in me.

hugs
bear

[JennyF]

I am at peace with the fact I did all I could to fix it. H did not want to fix anything. I have learned to hold my head up high, for I tried my best, thats all i can ask out of myself. I have looked within myself and found my flaws and started to fix them. Am i perfect, no never will be, but thats ok with me. Somewhere there is someone who will love and appreciate me for me.

Bear....this is the best thing I've ever seen you post!
I think you'll find it helpful to help others...it will help you articulate where you're at and it always is easier to give the advice than to take it (I am case in point....)
It's so good to see you believing in yourself!

Keep going!!
J~

[phbear316]

Jenny

Thanks with help from all here that has also helped me believe in myself.

I just don't want to give someone the wrong advice, that is why I was so shocked SG asked me to help maryangela.

Also need to pay it forward, help someone else to thank those who helped me move forward. My time to give back and help If I can.

hugs
bear

[Gypsy]

Ms. pooh...

Your post to maryangela was beautiful!

Like others have said, many family lawyers give free consults, even the expensive ones. I got names from attorneys and professionals I knew. I interviewed three and only paid for one. I wish I would have talked to more.

The list below, though daunting, helps when you go in to talk to an attorney. I'd tell them a brief honest summary of the relationship. I had information from our taxes which gave the amount made, and our assets. They were able to tell me what my legal rights were, what I could expect based on the length of our marriage and work experience.

They gave me the best case and worst case scenarios, with an educated guess about what the settlement may include.

No one can promise you anything. If they do, leave.
If someone wants you to sign a retainer on the first meeting.. leave.

Here's something I found helpful.

The end of a marriage can bring pitfalls along with pain. Here are some questions to ask, during the divorce process and afterward, to help you protect yourself legally and financially.

Before you sign anything:

Do you have an experienced attorney?

Have you also consulted with a financial-planning professional?

Have you identified all marital property, including retirement plans?

Do you know the present value for each of these assets, after taxes?

Have you determined your income needs?

Do you and your spouse share debts?

If so, will they be paid off before the divorce is final?

If the debts can't be paid off now, are you protected if your spouse fails to make payments?

Do you have a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to secure future retirement benefits?

Are alimony and other future payments to you (and/or your children) insured?

If these payments are backed by insurance on your spouse's life, do you own the policy?

Do you understand all the documents you're signing?

Have you asked if the settlement will keep you financially secure? Are you satisfied with the answer?

[phbear316]

Ms Gypsy

Glad you liked my post to Maryangela, Makes me feel good.

I have asked the lawyer all the questions you listed, I am ok with this lawyer. I feel comfortable with him.

I think I will get the same answers from any other lawyer I go to. I will though investiage some more.

I just paid for a consultation with the lawyer, I have no deadline with him, I can call him anytime to start the ball rolling.

Hugs
Bear

[phbear316]

Found out today via mil that h wants to do mediation.

Ok I am open to hear with they have to say, but I will most certainly pass it by my lawyer to make sure I am getting what I should.

MIL tells me h does not want the house he wants a small studio type apartment for himself somewhere in town. Oh brother who is he kidding.

We will see, just words for now there has been no action or movement. But the one year mark is saturday of when he dropped the d bomb on me. What a year.

hugs
bear