Not much to update, D11 lost both soccer games on Saturday and they lost on Sunday also. They played their hearts out but came up abit short in the end D11 was pretty dejected, told her you wish you could always win, but sometimes its just not in the cards (wonder if this applies to my sitch also) gave her a big hug and told her I was proud of her.
Had some more interaction with W at Sunday's soccer game it was all good, this makes me wonder though if the anger is subsiding abit or is W just becoming comfortable in her new world? Probably the latter at this point. Every time I see her it just reminds me of why I married her so beautiful....
Oh well can't think that way right now. That's all for now.
told her you wish you could always win, but sometimes its just not in the cards (wonder if this applies to my sitch also)
I'm gonna lightly tap you with a 2x4 here..it's good that you are teaching your D about winning and losing but it really does not apply to your sitch. Your sitch is not a game. There are no winners or loosers..everybody looses in a D. Your sitch is about making you better, it's not about fixing the M or your W.
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Had some more interaction with W at Sunday's soccer game it was all good, this makes me wonder though if the anger is subsiding abit or is W just becoming comfortable in her new world? Probably the latter at this point. Every time I see her it just reminds me of why I married her so beautiful....
Maybe the anger is subsiding, maybe she is comfortable, maybe she's dropping her guard because she likes what she is seeing..I bet she looks pretty as a picture..Question is did you look drop dead handsome for her?? LOL.
The purpose of this post is this Brian, it's to let you know this is about you. Make you better. Shake her up and make her think, "boy, look what I'm giving up. How could I do that?"
Carry on brother..let her go. GAL big time. Make a point to do it.
"I'm gonna lightly tap you with a 2x4 here..it's good that you are teaching your D about winning and losing but it really does not apply to your sitch. Your sitch is not a game. There are no winners or loosers..everybody looses in a D. Your sitch is about making you better, it's not about fixing the M or your W."
Thanks Mike, THAT DIDN'T HURT TOO BAD, HAHA, just a bit of pity party today woke up in a funk working on it, I will be fine.
"Maybe the anger is subsiding, maybe she is comfortable, maybe she's dropping her guard because she likes what she is seeing..I bet she looks pretty as a picture..Question is did you look drop dead handsome for her?? LOL."
I don't know what she is thinking, maybe that's why the funk. Have always been able to 'read' my W, but in this sitch I just have no idea. I could look in her eyes and tell, but since she won't look at me eye to eye it's perplexing! They say the eyes are the path to the soul. Yes, I always make myself look good when I know I will be seeing her. Whether it works or not only she knows that for sure.
just a bit of pity party today woke up in a funk working on it, I will be fine.
gotta drop the pity parties. Do some crunches. Do some push-ups. Work on your core exercises.
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I don't know what she is thinking, maybe that's why the funk. Have always been able to 'read' my W, but in this sitch I just have no idea. I could look in her eyes and tell, but since she won't look at me eye to eye it's perplexing! They say the eyes are the path to the soul. Yes, I always make myself look good when I know I will be seeing her. Whether it works or not only she knows that for sure.
You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what she is thinking. You can't read a WAW that's why you have no idea. One day she will be fine, the next day she'll suck. She's riding a coaster, let her ride and you stand to the side and wave as she go's round and round. Just be prepared to comfort her when she gets off the coaster and she's throwing up. When she comes to talk or brings something up, actively listen and validate her feelings. Give her a shoulder to cry on and be her sounding board. Be her "rock".
She's not looking you in the eye because she carries lots of guilt. Guilt from the M, guilt about leaving, she may even be carrying guilt about things that happened in her childhood. She might mistakenly think she did something to bring all that on.
You be patient, she will look you in the eye. You don't backslide, you man up. You be better. I guarentee she will at the least, look you in the eye.
"gotta drop the pity parties. Do some crunches. Do some push-ups. Work on your core exercises."
Yes they are self defeating and lead you NOWHERE. Got up to late this morning to workout will hit it hard tonight it definitely helps me be more positive.
"You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what she is thinking. You can't read a WAW that's why you have no idea. One day she will be fine, the next day she'll suck. She's riding a coaster, let her ride and you stand to the side and wave as she go's round and round. Just be prepared to comfort her when she gets off the coaster and she's throwing up. When she comes to talk or brings something up, actively listen and validate her feelings. Give her a shoulder to cry on and be her sounding board. Be her "rock"."
Here is some irony for you, she can't stand amusement park rides makes her literally sick to her stomach LOL, yet she is on ONE heck of a ride now. I will not get on it. At this point in time any convo we have is still through texting, god I hate texting, but I guess it's communicating at any rate, it does make it easy not to react gives me time to answer, and to validate in a manner as to not say the wrong thing.
"You be patient, she will look you in the eye. You don't backslide, you man up. You be better. I guarentee she will at the least, look you in the eye."
I will not let her lead me down a cheeseless tunnel, act not react be in control of myself and then there is no room for backsliding, workingout is helping me 'manup' I know I can't control the sitch just sucks.
Okay, yesterday was pretty depressing due to my finances being smoked because of W making the selfish decision to leave and just expecting me to cover the slack. Gee how unfair can it be wish I could just walk away from responsibilities like that and make decisions only for myself and live in a FOG must be rough!
I feel like I am in a tornado that won't stop spinning Auntie Em Auntie Em... just click your heels 3 times and say there is no place like home, there is no place like home...
This is a test of your Warning Broadcast Channel, this is just a test, stay tuned to your local channels for more information...
Okay got that out, fill abit better just needed to be immature for a moment. As Mike would say now it's time to get back to the high road and lay out a plan to get out of this mess and at the same time not give the W anymore fuel for the D fire.
I guess start with making some phone calls, lawyer, bank, and see what options I have available get as much info as I can and lay it out and make a decision based on that. Keep my head up high and do all that I can and hope for the best at this point...
Okay, yesterday was pretty depressing due to my finances being smoked because of W making the selfish decision to leave and just expecting me to cover the slack. Gee how unfair can it be wish I could just walk away from responsibilities like that and make decisions only for myself and live in a FOG must be rough!
I feel like I am in a tornado that won't stop spinning Auntie Em Auntie Em... just click your heels 3 times and say there is no place like home, there is no place like home...
This is a test of your Warning Broadcast Channel, this is just a test, stay tuned to your local channels for more information...
Okay got that out, fill abit better just needed to be immature for a moment. As Mike would say now it's time to get back to the high road and lay out a plan to get out of this mess and at the same time not give the W anymore fuel for the D fire.
I guess start with making some phone calls, lawyer, bank, and see what options I have available get as much info as I can and lay it out and make a decision based on that. Keep my head up high and do all that I can and hope for the best at this point...
Brian
I think you're correct to be proactive. Most of the time creditors will work with you if you explain the sitch to them. Is everything in your name or is it joint?? CC's Joint/bank accounts all that?? Decisions made with a clear head are 99% of the time, good decisions.
finanacial stuff is all business and try to think of it that way. Just take care of your business. Keep doing what you're doing..
You'll need to be careful around the W with the financial stuff..that's a backslide waiting to happen. Put yourself in a good mental place if you need to talk to her about it.
Okay, yesterday was pretty depressing due to my finances being smoked because of W making the selfish decision to leave and just expecting me to cover the slack. Gee how unfair can it be wish I could just walk away from responsibilities like that and make decisions only for myself and live in a FOG must be rough!
I feel like I am in a tornado that won't stop spinning Auntie Em Auntie Em... just click your heels 3 times and say there is no place like home, there is no place like home...
This is a test of your Warning Broadcast Channel, this is just a test, stay tuned to your local channels for more information...
Okay got that out, fill abit better just needed to be immature for a moment. As Mike would say now it's time to get back to the high road and lay out a plan to get out of this mess and at the same time not give the W anymore fuel for the D fire.
I guess start with making some phone calls, lawyer, bank, and see what options I have available get as much info as I can and lay it out and make a decision based on that. Keep my head up high and do all that I can and hope for the best at this point...
Brian
I think you're correct to be proactive. Most of the time creditors will work with you if you explain the sitch to them. Is everything in your name or is it joint?? CC's Joint/bank accounts all that?? Decisions made with a clear head are 99% of the time, good decisions.
finanacial stuff is all business and try to think of it that way. Just take care of your business. Keep doing what you're doing..
You'll need to be careful around the W with the financial stuff..that's a backslide waiting to happen. Put yourself in a good mental place if you need to talk to her about it.
When she comes to talk or brings something up, actively listen and validate her feelings. Give her a shoulder to cry on and be her sounding board. Be her "rock".