Ready2Change (5) - No trust

[Ready2Change]

Some things I was just thinking about:

1) Kids have been spending bedtime evenings with W for past week. This may be increasing my frustration. They spent the evening with me last night, I feel good.

2) During convo with W a few days ago, I was given a good opportunity to tell wife "I still love you" in a non emotional way.

[Ready2Change]

W took kids to Six flags. I took the high road today and supported her, even though I disagree with her tactics....

Here is an Email Wife sent about a week ago:

Next weekend is going to be my weekend with the kids - I will be hanging out with them so please find something else to do.

We do not have a "my weekend" "your weekend" plan in place. W just tells me what she is doing.

Here is the last Email I sent:

The kids are excited about going to six flags. I will have the truck ready for
you to take them up Sat. As I stated on the phone, they would prefer us going
as a family. I understand that you do not want me to go with you. I will make
other plans so you can spend some time alone with our kids.

I do not like putting the kids in the middle of our issues. Without a fixed
schedule, I want us to agree on activities before we commit to the kids. I
have tried to keep the communication open. I inform you of what the kids want,
and respect your wishes. I would appreciate the same respect.

The good part is that Emails are being exchanged. The communication is opening up. W is still very angry, but this communication is a big improvement.

[Ready2Change]

I just sent W about a dozen emails trying to resolve schedule issues. Hopefully she is receptive and we will have some agreements.

[ping1]

R2C, I don't really know what to say about all of this. I really don't know how to have your own space living in the same house. How did your W respond to your email about not putting the kids in the middle of your problems? If she is anything like my W, she doesn't see it that way or either doesn't care.

[Gypsy]

Hey Race...

"Jake the Snake" is a game where you need a jump rope, sock and tennis ball or softball (for a bigger snake head). Put the tennis ball or softball in the sock, tie the sock to the end of the jump rope. You can decorate the sock to look like a snake.

Hold the opposite end of the jump rope, so the snake head is facing out and start turning around. The kids have to jump over the rope and/or snake. You can go faster or slower. As my daughter was explaining it to me, she kept saying how fun it was (when she was little). The gym teacher who played that game with her is now at the high school and told me the high school kids love to play it and they're OLD!

Good luck.

Here's a list of some fun activities I might try..

http://www.thesource4ym.com/games/outdoor.asp

*hugs*

[Ready2Change]

...How did your W respond to your email about not putting the kids in the middle of your problems? ...

My W hasn't been responding to many emails. Her actions are better. Tonight W asked if I wanted to tuck the kids in tonight.

Hopefully I get some responses to my emails. I put clauses in most of them that simpilar to this: "If I don't receive a response from you by XXX date, I will plan on YYYY."

[Ready2Change]

Weekends without kids suck. Wife had them all weekend. Only good thing is that W was not home, and I could do what I wanted.

Next weekend will be better. D5 has her birthday party Sat and I spend Sat night and Sun with kids for fathers day.

W and I have no set parenting time, so we are almost always in each others space. Hopefully this week will be better. I will see how W responds to my emails.....

[Ready2Change]

ISC is set for 6/17 (D5 will become D6 also).

[smartcookie]

Hey Ready,

<<Weekends without kids suck. Wife had them all weekend.

I spent a lot of time imagining how it would be, if I left H, & if it was the weekend that he had the kids & I was home alone. It sucked just imagining it. I feel for you.

<<Only good thing is that W was not home, and I could do what I wanted.

Okay, I used to feel this way too. Now, I can do what I want even when H is home. Try it. (within reason to your sitch, I mean).

Thinking about you.

[Ready2Change]

..It sucked just imagining it....

That is what gets me down. I need to stay "in the now". I can not understand why W believes it will be "better" being a broken family. Of course W and and I played tag team with the kids, so the frequency of seeing our kids will be less, but the amount of time will be more (unless W does get the 70/30 split she is asking for).

I need some more 180's that will not "justify" the divorce....