I can relate. I remember a while ago when things were all over the place, & a boring day just felt so nice & normal.
That movie looks super scary. There's no way I'd let my kid go see it. Tell your D that's why they have a minimum age for R, sheesh.
Try calling your cell company & let them know what D did. They may be able to change your plan effective 30 days ago, just this once. It's worth a try. Also, my kids have set minutes, when they go over, they pay for it. It only happens once. My S17 downloaded a bunch of ringtones, $36.00 worth. He won't do that again.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
SC...I am sittin here chuckling, D17 did the same thing she said she got a text from somewhere and "well dad" it said they were "free"! I looked at her and said lesson learned huh? LOL
Nothing is free darlin welcome to the real world LOL
Mike it finally LOCKED 259 post later. I truly hope that it is a sign of better things to come for you W and D. Hope you are doing good brother thinking of you!
When I read "... I have twinkies comin out of you know where.." I just kept on laughing and laughing. Just so you know, women can be DAM's, too. I'll share one of my tales if you like.
Sounds like co-parenting is going well and it must be satisfying to have pleasant conversations with your wife.
I will never see Twinkies in the same light again.
"hey Brian--if you build it they will come..if it's buried deep then it stays down there. Up top is where we want it. I'm glad we moved it up. The more the merrier and the more help you get."
That was your doing my friend, I built nothing other than a fast friendship I hope with someone I never met but feel as though I have known for years *TY*!
Update...
Thursday was a tag your it with W day. She had been trying to get a hold of me all day, finally hooked up on the phone in the afternoon. Seems D11 wanted to go to a 'R' rated movie 1 of the new gory ones, W told her no you aren't going well D11 who thinks sometimes she is older than she is decided she was going to give W attitude about it and basically hurt her feelings on the deal cause she didn't like her answer. So I am listen keeping my mouth shut and am about ready to validate W's position when she says "I guess I was just calling to get 'validated' (her word mind you) that I made the right decision?" Okay pick chin off of floor here! I said of course you did I just watched the trailer on the net and it made me jump no she isn't going. W says "well that makes me feel better that you agree".
Then she proceeds to thank me again for talking to her with the storm the night before, I said no thanks needed but you are welcome. Then later in the evening she sends a text saying she really appreciated my help with D11.
Thursday evening, had gotten the cell bill in the mail and we had a BIG problem! I had bought D11 a cell so that she could contact me or W at anytime since she had been walking to & from school and was a 'latch key' kid for the last quarter so she was home alone for about an hour till D17 got home. Plus since W was moving out want D11 to be able to reach me whenever she felt the need. Okay, long story short we have a family plan with 900 minutes to share between W, me, and D11 well D11 blew through 700 minutes in a MONTH. So I called & told W she was fuming could see the smoke through the phone, I said I got her the phone I will handle it she says you better I'm not paying for it. I said whoa down alittle (nice tone) I will call & have a talk with her. So call D11 told her I have talked to you twice before nicely now I am PO'd She says I am sorry didn't know, I said um I don't think that's the truth & she said well... I have been on it alot lately talking to my friends I said thank you that's better so got it worked out. Told W it is handled and I will just change the plan, she says thanks for handling that.
Friday AM...
W sends me an email first thing in the morning and wanted to know if I got to work okay cause of all the rain and flooding we have had. I said yes I am fine it was yesterday that was tough, see I commute 30 miles both ways for work and we have a creek that pretty much runs through Lincoln and it flooded out of its banks never seen it to that before but anyway I have to cross it to get where I am going. Well after trying to cross in 2 different places I had to back track and go thru water that was up to my doors, now I drive a half-ton Chevy pick-up if that tells ya anything and let me tell ya the water was flowing a good 20-25 miles an hour I being a DAM and in a 4x4 I hit the water doing about 35 miles an hour (dah water) needless to say it washed over on the motor and was getting the distribuator wet okay I have twinkies comin out of you know where so I slam into 4 wheel drive and drop it into 2nd gear and start featherin the gas peddle and made it thru bout half a mile what a dumb ARS! Well W basically agreed with my sentiment of myself and comes back with maybe you oughta put a canoe in the back haha.
Friday PM...
Just hangin out at home tonight washin my 'canoe' (truck) W calls wanting to know since I have plans tomorrow if I want D11 on Sunday, I said that was nice to offer but have plans. Well she then preceeded to start a new convo and started to tell me about her day (hasn't done that in months) so I am listen and interjecting at points and we are chuckling (thank-you been a long time) I say you sound like you have a cold are you okay? She says don't know whats wrong not sick just have a scratchy throat must be allergies or something. She works at a hospital and she was talking to a PA about it and PA said you should take something she has taken Allegra in the past but quit cause she didn't think it was helping. PA said try something different so here is where I started to backslide & started trying to 'fix it' I said well you know there are different....ooops caught myself backtracked and said maybe the PA was right but I am sure you will figure out what's best for yourself and get it handled. Think that was okay? Well it had been going on for about 15 minutes and I said I had better let you go so that you can rest your voice and get something to drink I said I will talk to you later and have a good rest of the night and said goodbye and she said well okay..?? talk to you later bye, and I ended it there.
So thats the last 48 hrs in a nutshell, sorry it's so long. I think there was alot of positives except for my slight backslide but all in all it felt good, no controversy, I think I validated okay. For a few minutes tonight it felt like the first time we met just light and easy... don't worry I am expecting nothing just being me....the new old old me that is...
Peace be in your heart
Brian
Really good here Brian. I'm proud of you man..really proud..another thing. It's really really good in your W's eyes that you backed her and did not let the D go to that movie..Shows teamwork on your part..nothing worse than two parents who are not on the same track when dealing with the child. Very good.
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 06/07/0801:09 PM.
Today was a good day for me, had a birthday party to go to BF turned 40 his mom & dad thru him a surprise party. Saw alot of old friends hadn't seen in years. You might remember he is going thru a divorce that is costing him BIG BUCKS! Well his sister is going thru a divorce also and then there is me, what a hand to draw to. His sister has a WAH, and BF has been in a verbally abusive marriage so he is the one divorcing her after takin it for 15 yrs.
He and I have known each other for about that time frame, raced together, drank together, been there for each other, and people have often mistaken us for brothers we are so much alike. His wife used to say that 'we' should be married cause we were inseperable. Needless to say he means the world to me and I am happy for him to finally find some peace.
Lots of good PMA there, there was one point were I had bent over to get a pop out of the cooler and turned around and these women were staring at me and I'm like WTF...so I turned it into a joke and said what looking behind me do I have a hole or something, they in turn say oh no nothing like that but if you want to get another pop out go ahead we would love to watch again I felt this instant heat come over my face and Im like wow maybe I might still have alittle something left in me...nice to know I can still turn a few heads it was a good ego boost
No contact with W at all today, D17 had text me and wanted to go to lunch would have loved to but had the party to go to, I felt terrible cause this was really the first time she has reached out to me since they moved out, I asked if I could have a rain check and she said sure it's cool, still felt like an ARS though!
Talked to D11 on the phone tonight, her and W went and hit a bucket of balls today and had a good time. Last summer got D11 golf lessons from the Pro at one of the courses she has been on the LPGA, D11 was in total awe of her.
Thanks Mike as everybody else here just shootin from the hip for the most part and trying to not backslide and to validate. D11 has kinda withdrawn abit so I keep as much of a watchful eye on her as I can so as not too miss anything that might need some IC for her I don't want her to be anymore dramatized by all of this then she already is.
Today was a good day for me, had a birthday party to go to BF turned 40 his mom & dad thru him a surprise party. Saw alot of old friends hadn't seen in years. You might remember he is going thru a divorce that is costing him BIG BUCKS! Well his sister is going thru a divorce also and then there is me, what a hand to draw to. His sister has a WAH, and BF has been in a verbally abusive marriage so he is the one divorcing her after takin it for 15 yrs.
He and I have known each other for about that time frame, raced together, drank together, been there for each other, and people have often mistaken us for brothers we are so much alike. His wife used to say that 'we' should be married cause we were inseperable. Needless to say he means the world to me and I am happy for him to finally find some peace.
Lots of good PMA there, there was one point were I had bent over to get a pop out of the cooler and turned around and these women were staring at me and I'm like WTF...so I turned it into a joke and said what looking behind me do I have a hole or something, they in turn say oh no nothing like that but if you want to get another pop out go ahead we would love to watch again I felt this instant heat come over my face and Im like wow maybe I might still have alittle something left in me...nice to know I can still turn a few heads it was a good ego boost
No contact with W at all today, D17 had text me and wanted to go to lunch would have loved to but had the party to go to, I felt terrible cause this was really the first time she has reached out to me since they moved out, I asked if I could have a rain check and she said sure it's cool, still felt like an ARS though!
Talked to D11 on the phone tonight, her and W went and hit a bucket of balls today and had a good time. Last summer got D11 golf lessons from the Pro at one of the courses she has been on the LPGA, D11 was in total awe of her.
Brian
This is all good Brian...Was there anyway you could have set a date with D17 and locked something in..It's too bad you missed her today..Contacting you like that she may have something on her mind..You should really attempt to get back with the D17 real soon. Keep those connections. Keep a close eye on that younger D if she is withdrawing. IC may be what she needs. Will she talk to you about it at all?? Is there a Grandparent she may open up to??
"This is all good Brian...Was there anyway you could have set a date with D17 and locked something in..It's too bad you missed her today..Contacting you like that she may have something on her mind..You should really attempt to get back with the D17 real soon."
Not to worry I am on top of it, she said she would have to check her schedule. So I guess I have to make an 'appointment' with her LOL, it's all good she said she would let me know.
"Keep a close eye on that younger D if she is withdrawing. IC may be what she needs. Will she talk to you about it at all??"
That is my #1 concern and am keeping a 'hawks eye' on the sitch. I always reinforce that she can talk to me or W about anything that is on her mind and not to worry if she thinks it will 'hurt' our feelings cause her feelings are what matter the most at this point. Thanks for the concern bro it helps curb the pain I have for her...
"Is there a Grandparent she may open up to??"
She dearly loves my MIL and talks to her quite abit about things and MIL does a good job in answering things for her and informs us when something seems askew.
Just checking in on you, it all sounds good. Especially the getting another soda part. It feels great to get "checked out" huh.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
It only happens once. My S17 downloaded a bunch of ringtones, $36.00 worth. He won't do that again. 