Searching for the truth..for me 5

[phbear316]

Well

MIL did ok, with surgery, not great in my opinion, but I am not there to judge. I do think h will come home tomorrow, and you know I cannot believe I am going to say this, I did not miss him.

I so enjoyed my week alone, in my house, was I lonely a little but kept busy.

We will see what h does tomorrow if she is "ok" enough for him to come home. We will see, I think the next few days are going to be a very rough road for her.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

Well

MIL did ok, with surgery, not great in my opinion, but I am not there to judge. I do think h will come home tomorrow, and you know I cannot believe I am going to say this, I did not miss him.

I so enjoyed my week alone, in my house, was I lonely a little but kept busy.

We will see what h does tomorrow if she is "ok" enough for him to come home. We will see, I think the next few days are going to be a very rough road for her.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

Well

MIL did ok, with surgery, not great in my opinion, but I am not there to judge. I do think h will come home tomorrow, and you know I cannot believe I am going to say this, I did not miss him.

I so enjoyed my week alone, in my house, was I lonely a little but kept busy.

We will see what h does tomorrow if she is "ok" enough for him to come home. We will see, I think the next few days are going to be a very rough road for her.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

Well I did it, Yes I DID

I changed my direct deposit to go into my own checking account. This will take effect the next paycheck in three weeks.

AND, I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow, to find out my rights. I am anxious, nervous, but in some way calm. I know that makes not sense.

He never told me he was coming home, ow picked him up from the airport last night. He had to get back to that job. We hardly talked, can't really even remember about what. I was too busy making a pie for dinner tonight.

Well wish me luck, for I am going to need it.

bear

[sgctxok]

Luck.

So you didn't go. Are you thinking of going?

[JennyF]

Hey Bear....I'm not really quite caught up on your sitch...but you sound like your plugging along doing really well!
You sound great...really you do.
And baking pies??? So you are a baker!!
J~

[phbear316]

SG

No I had not gone to lawyer until thursday am. I will admit, I was afraid, scared, had lots to sort out in my head if this is what I really wanted to do.

So the filing was done in my head, and made my decision to go find out what my rights were. SO I did. I was amazingly cool as a cucumber. Did not even well up at any point with the questions that lawyer asked. I like him and think I will stay with him. Now I have some thinking to do. I have to find $5000 for a retainer for the lawyer. Need to start working the phones for apraisal for the house, and make some calls to find out if I alone qualify for a low income mortgage. Need to speak with my parents to see if they will co-sign the mortgage with me.
Right now I am not comfortable with that issue due to I want them to start on their house down the shore. One step at a time.

I found out I can get alimony, but in nj I get taxed on it and he gets the tax right off. How bout those rules. Stink in my book but still eligable for him to pay me. Other option is I buy him out of the house and i keep it, lawyer likes that one. Give me at least something for me.

I can file a junction against her, but it will cost me money to serve her separately, but I will hold that over H's head lawyer suggested that if he does not want to play nice, we will serve her. Will it get me more no, but its my bargining chip. Possibly worth nothing but if I want to lawyer wont stop me. I like having it in my back pocket if H decides not to play nice.

At some point we are going to have to talk about it. I want more information for me, and will talk to him when I am ready. Soon. Just need more information for myself.

Jenny

Thanks for the postive words, yes I am feeling better and stronger. Have done total 180s with h. Finally got there. Changed my direct deposit for my check to go directly into my checking account. Lawyer thing. Like I have said, this is my now. I'm tired of being sad and hurt. Time for me to heal, and move on and I feel I finally am doing that now. I have wrapped my arms around the fact that I may have had my issues within the marriage but I did not totally destroy it. H did that. I am at peace with the fact I did all I could to fix it. H did not want to fix anything. I have learned to hold my head up high, for I tried my best, thats all i can ask out of myself. I have looked within myself and found my flaws and started to fix them. Am i perfect, no never will be, but thats ok with me. Somewhere there is someone who will love and appreciate me for me.

Yes I was on dessert this past week, so they wanted chocolate cream pie. Which was also nice, I miss cooking, it makes me happy that people enjoy what I make. I gain a lot of strengh from that.

Will never be as good as you though. YOu cookie queen you!!

hugs
bear

[sgctxok]

What do you mean a junction against her?


Please interview a couple of other lawyers before you give this guy a retainer.

[sgctxok]

What do you mean a junction against her?


Please interview a couple of other lawyers before you give this guy a retainer.

[phbear316]

I could have her served as the reason for divorce. It will cost more money, and she is not obligated to reply to the summons. Then I am still no where then having to re-file under irreconcilable differences.

It can also turn against me with H, H then could play hardball and fight me on everything making it longer and more drawn out and more expensive. Which is what I do not want.

I know and hear what you are saying about seeing another attorney, but at over $300 for initial consults, in this area of the north east. I am running out of money fast. My savings is down to under $2000. I am having trouble figuring out finances, and where I am to get the money. I could get some back out of him with my final legal judgement but that will be totally at the end. Does not help me now.

I have not given him a retainer right now. I have to figure out where I am going to get $5000.