I took my son to his sports camp and camped outside to make sure he wouldn't come running out, trying to escape... He didn't but I had to tell him his coach said "he was the best of all" to have him agree to go back tomorrow. My parents would have babysitted for me now that the school is out but my dad feels very bad and my mom I think is having a nervres breakdown. So I have to keep him busy somehow and since he lacks confidence I thought it would help him too... (on a side note, my FIL, is retired, does nothing all day but my kids are only mine now so he doesn't offer any help...).
I went with my D and we bought sea shells and nice "lamps" for our veranda, bought some more stuff and fixed my veranda. I want to start sitting outside more. Although Athens is very badly built and all you see is cement all over, I have a sea view. I better start enjoying it.
In the aftrenoon I visited my dad, asked him on purpose to help me with the plants (he used to). He said "you better start doing it on your own, I am out of here pretty soon", so I dropped the issue.
My kids are sweet and wonderful and although they know nothing I can tell they are extra tender with me. I am starting to believe that they are the only things H did right while married. And they both were... "accidents".
I am feeling better. I had my hair cut on Sat and I like the new style a lot better than the one I had. I had my toe nails redone with red polish and did some touch ups all over ( ).
I can't be without the kids. I work from 8 to 19:00 and when I get back they need to see me. And I have noone to watch them for me except on Fridays. So GALing has to be inside Galing or with the kids.
Kalni, start looking to your friends for help. I have found other parents to be very quick to offer support. Try doing a kids swap where you watch their kids sometime in exchange for them watching yours. Even a couple hours here and there adds up.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
So sorry yur Dad is feeling bad. Of course that's going to affect your Mum, and you. I know you're under a huge amount of pressure and wish I was there. Maybe we shuld start planning a visit for me- I can look after Kal and Ni while you take a bit of a break. What do you think?
Do you think it might be worth giving H some specific guidance on what help you need with the little ones when he's back? I think you might have done this already, but just in case.....
Its very late but this has me flummoxed. I know I,m mean but you can look it up think of it as my gift to improving your English. I hope tomorrow dawns bright and sunny for you. nite nite.
I am switching mode and mood. Let's see if I can pull this off. I talked to my C on the phone. She said I am worried that his decision won't allow me any hope to hold on to. True. But, what can I do about it? Not much if anything. I'll sit back and let it come to me, whatever it is...
It is difficult, I think, to see the positives in your own situation sometimes. It's like trying to read something when it's an inch away from your face.
Quote:
How long do you think this bunny can go on? Well, I am just about ready to "die". I am running out of energy. I am running out of alternatives, options, inside power and determination. I am dying inside, pretty fast.
With all that's going on in your life, it would probably be impossible to not "run out of energy" if you keep looking at the worst case outcome. It's a real drainer of the batteries. Someone (Nomo) posted something to me when I was in the same stage that went something like; "Why would you be more willing to give yourself false defeat than false hope."
Just because it looks one way right now, doesn't mean it'll be that way tomorrow. Your H went away with good feeling, he's told you he doesn't want a D, he's still sharing with you & on & on. Be the one he's attracted to.
That doesn't mean you can't have a deadline. That doesn't mean you have to want him to move right back in either if he does want to come back.
Just that you want to have the option.
You've made so many changes that you'll never regret having made, keep them up & anyway it goes "Happiness is the best revenge."
Have to make a quick get away before my H gets here, so I don't have the time to check if any of this makes sense.
In a nut shell....let's see another Sunrise ((((K))))
Being right, being wrong, whatever. None of that matters when we are lowest of our lows. In fact, it almost makes it hurt more knowing that making the right choices doesn't always bring happiness.
My mom tells me all the time, if making the right choices was easy, people would never screw up. If that's true none of us on here would be where we are now--either through our screw-up or someone else's.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
