Journaling, So I was gone a week with my son. The thought of having a cigarette crossed my mine but I soon forgot about it. As soon as I am about 10 miles from home that is all I can think about. When we got home, Wife was taking an online test for some class. So she was preoccupied. Son helped me unpack the jeep and I then put our dirty clothes in the wash. I came in the house and wife was talking with son. I went into his room and stood there for a minute and then took my Wife’s hand and said how about a real welcome home and put her hand on my hip. She gave me a hug but kind of held her body away from mine. She then said you stink. Ok so I guess I may have sweated but I really did not think so. I then asked her what she did while we were away. She said she enjoyed being by herself. (Reminds me on what bombs wife said before she left).She also told me she did not get that job she was looking at. She then said her mom has been driving her crazy calling every night about stupid little things. I told her it probably is because I have not been over there everyday and she missed the company. I then noticed her hair was cut. (I LOVE long hair). I asked her if she got it cut and she said yes this morning. She was going to get it cut shorter. She THEN asked how come I shaved my beard. I said I don’t really know why. She said it makes my face look fat. SIDE NOTE: How come a woman can get away with saying something like that about a man looking FAT but if a man says ANYTHING like that to a woman and it a sin? Any way I asked her. “Doesn’t my beard make me look older? She said no it makes you look more distinguished. SO I am not doing this for her. But I am going to grow my beard back. I like the beard because I have to shave less often. Anyway Wife wanted me to bbq some chicken wings. I told her to make that sauce she makes and I will do it. So she started making the sauce and saw there was no honey left. She asked me if I used the rest of it when I made my marinade last week. I told her yes and I thought I wrote it down to buy more but I guess I did not. I told her when I am through washing the jeep I will go buy some more. Now this if from the NMMNG book it said “Nice guys” try to hide there mistakes. I did not apologize. But I said yes I did it and I will go buy more. IT IS GOING TO be A LONG TIME TILL RETRO… MY MIND IS GOING CRAZY. I thought I was through thinking up scenarios about wife and the OM but they still keep coming back. I have tomorrow off I want to take care of a few things around the house. Then I can occupy myself at work until RETRO... I am going to ask wife if she wants me to find a sitter for son. I am going to tell her I will tell the person.(probably my sister) that W and I are going on a Pre anniversary weekend get away…. Retro is on the 11th and the 15th is our anniversary...
Oh ya one more thing. Not sure how it came up but while son and I were talking this week the subject about his mom sleeping in his room came up. My son said “It’s her choice”...hmmmmmm
Later
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Sorry about the poor greeting when you got home. No, no one should tell another person they look fat, it isn't nice. But it is always a shock when a man shaves off a beard. It's not just seeing so much more face, but also the skin is usually so white from not having any sun that it really stands out at first. A few days and it all gets to look normal. She's probably just thinking about the fact that she didn't get the job and as usual is all wrapped up in herself.
I shaved on the first day of my trip that way there would be no white mark. No worries though I can grow it back really easy. I think I was trying to look younger just incase I was going to be out in the market again. I actually like my beard so It is making a come back. As for the fat comment. I get those all of the time; they don't bother me it is just something I noticed though. It does seem that woman "IN general" can get away with a statement like that but a man can't. IT WAS HOT here and I could not sleep last night but that is a good thing. I will be tired and ready for bed early because I need to start getting up at 2:30 am. I have gotten lazy and have been sleeping until 5:30 -6:00 am. 19 more days
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I am very hopeful that RETRO will help your wife understand what is and isn't appropriate in a relationship. I'm sorry she speaks to you the way she does. No one deserves to be treated in such a way. What kind of example is she setting for your son? Makes me want to puke.
Why do you need to wake up so early????
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
It really does not bother me when she says things like that. Anyway I get up early to go to work and I am off by 1:00 Pm.... I have the rest of the day to myself..
I have been thinking alot about why I / We got married... I will post my thoughts later....
have a great day
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Sunday was a good day. I tried to fix the Garage door opener but found that I could not by pass a safety sensor that went out. (Probably a good thing). So I had to order a new one. Then MIL wanted me to buy a lawn mover for her yard. (I have been taking mine over. I shopped around and when I found the one I wanted I went back to that store but it was gone. They sold the last one (floor model). ½ hour earlier. This is not a bad thing though. They are getting more on Thursday so I will get a new one out of the box. W was “upset/bothered” about out money sitch. AGAIN. She said “I should just go get an $8.00 an hour job so we can get by.” I said I can start working overtime again. I was not sure how I should have answered her statement. Should I have said “yes you should” or “maybe you should”? 18 more days till Retro. This morning in the shower I started getting that “I should just give up” feeling… Then on the way to work I heard “Kansas” “carry on my wayward son” So I was inspired again. I am still scared. I don’t know why. I am making arraignment for my son to have a sleep over that weekend today. I guess that is another sign that it IS HAPPENING. This will be the first time in years son has slept somewhere without W or I around...
Got ta get to work talk to ya later
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
