When he tries to keep you on the phone, politely say. I am sorry Dan, but I need to feed the kids and get some things done around the hosue, I do not have time to chat right now--then HANG UP. Do not wait for him to respond, nothing.
Hi BobbiJo- I hope your day is going real well and I am glad to see you on here again. I agree with SMW that your politeness towards H needs to be somewhat curtailed but obviously not stopped altogether. Keep your distance from him as he is still 'infected'. Continue to find your strength in Christ. I wish you luck in getting the house sold as quick as possible. I'll be praying.
When he tries to keep you on the phone, politely say. I am sorry Dan, but I need to feed the kids and get some things done around the hosue, I do not have time to chat right now--then HANG UP. Do not wait for him to respond, nothing.
Hi BobbiJo- I hope your day is going real well and I am glad to see you on here again. I agree with SMW that your politeness towards H needs to be somewhat curtailed but obviously not stopped altogether. Keep your distance from him as he is still 'infected'. Continue to find your strength in Christ. I wish you luck in getting the house sold as quick as possible. I'll be praying.
YEAH!! A veteran like Tomato gave me kudos! I like the idea of him being "infected". My mom has another term for it--she calls it "ate up with a case of dumba$$."
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
"ate up w/ a case of dumba$$" that sounds like a southern way of stating.. DAM.
Oh, and geeee thanks for the veteran comment. I haven't been around here that much longer than you. Plus I am a DAM so what the heck does that tell ya. But yes you were due for the compliment.
Hi BBJ! Good luck with the offer. As far as seeing an L, I dreaded doing it, but I'm glad I did. H doesn't know I went, so it gives me a little feeling of power. Also helps to know that you can do something that big on your own. If your H is like mine, and we both know he is, don't plan on him filing anytime soon. I think my H told me 2 1/2 months ago he wanted the D; I told him a month ago to file. I still haven't seen any papers. H just stopped by the house in the middle of the day and he stopped by yesterday morning. Not his allotted times. I need to put my foot down and tell him that he has to stop that. I think he is getting way too much cake.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I have to agree with.. my guy. He is testing the waters. Please don't file "just to show him". Or because you are mad. If it is a LRT for you make sure in your head and heart you are prepared to bite the bullet (I hope that is correct, feel free to laugh if it isn't).
Move to your new house, set and keep boundaries and take it slow. Even if you feel you are ready, once you are safe "inside" waiting a bit can't hurt you.
BTW, that thing I was telling you : I am abit ahead of you? FORGET IT!!! M
Why are you not ahead anymore? B/C I am planning on the D now I am ahead??
I don't want to file all that much. But I am annoyed that my H just spent a business trip in California with his GIRLFRIEND! I am tired of him confusing me with his mixed messages.
When I was at his parents' house last Sat. night, we talked until 2 a.m. He started with "this is impossible to fix". But then he was saying things like "we would have to..." (such as, we would have to communicate, we would have to be able to have our own lives and our life together for this to work, etc).
He said he spent the entire flight from CA to IA trying to figure out what he could do. He thought 1)Maybe if I quit drinking except when Bobbi was around I'd be ok, b/c drinking tends to send me into situations I wouldn't be in otherwise 2)Maybe if we talked once a week and dumped all our crap out we wouldn't let it build, etc.
In other words he spent most of the time talking about what would have to change for us to make it work. The rest of the time was basically him saying how he was miserable with her, would NEVER be in a relationship with her (whatever that means guess now she is his sex buddy??), didn't want to lose his family, etc etc
But then, nothing since Saturday in that regard. All chit chat about NOTHING, every day.....If he is going to keep saying he doesn't want to lose us, but then do nothing about it, I am just ready to file and be done with it. Maybe that is the wrong reason? I don't know....
Yeah, maybe that is what annoys me. It is like he says he is trying to figure it all out, but nothing is any different. I don't want him to say he hates me or anything, but it just makes it so difficult when he says things that make it sound like he wants his family but keeps doing dumb-ass things instead....
That is why I am considering filing. The mixed-message thing is getting old........
