She has even told me that if my STBX was to turn around (fat chance) that she would make me try -that my kids deserve that. Amazing to me that she is selfless enough to suffer for them but their own mother is not.
Scott,
I do remember you.... I met J at a DB gathering last Summer... She is a really great gal...
That is interesting J said that...... My new W told me three weeks before our wedding if I wanted to go talk to exW to see if there was any possibility for reconciliation, I could freely do so..... She said, "I love you so much. I want you to be happy."
Yeah..... Like I was going to give my exW a chance when my dream girl was right in front of me...... I told her, "My exW had many chances. She had more than 90 chances (days) to change her mind. I even opened the door for her again in July. She made her decision. She freed me to make my decision."
In the end, my new W and J are simply much better women than our exWs.... For me, it was a painful but worthwhile experience....
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 07/09/0811:40 PM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Hey Girl! thanks for chiming in. She sure was...but i fixed that! Crap..now she's gonna kill me. heehee.
Well whatever it takes to make her post an update..
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I'm so glad you posted, and I'm just thrilled about you and F21. She is hands down one of the nicest, most compassionate women I've "met" on these boards.
About the forgiveness thing...what does not forgiving her give you? Does it give you more peace? Control? Or is it more like hanging on to old stuff that you have no power to change? Your W most likely sort of digs your anger...it means she has "control" over you, right? Either that or she just doesn't think about it much.
In any case, I think forgiveness and acceptance are different things. You can forgive your W and this OM (who, honestly, is a band aid with all of his own issues--lucky OM, lucky stxw, right?) but still not accept him into YOUR life.
I've forgiven my H, but I will NEVER accept LW into my life. That was non-negotiable when I set my boundaries back in March/April/May. And to be honest, your kids will figure it out someday...and they will remember your response.
So again, what are you giving up if you forgive your W? And what are you gaining?
So glad to see your face around these parts!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
HMMMM..Swashy? Swashy? Swashy?????? SQUISHY it is you!!!
Yeah I remember you. How ya doing'? I was just thinking about you and J last night and wondering where the heck you were.
It's so nice to get an update and to see that your life is coming along nicely. Our kids are another story. I think a part of this where they are concerned, will always tug at our heartstrings, but we've just got to do the best we can.
How exciting that J is thinking of moving. That sure is a huge decision. Just tell her that I heard "east coast girls are hip" and that I miss her!
I'll take you up on that drink when I come in for the Seafood Festival. Hey did you see the little ditty that's going around about the Bourn Bridge? If not I'll have to e-mail it to you!
NMD - Thanks for posting and glad you were fortunate enough to meet the lovely miss J. And you are spot on my friend...spot on.
LOL NikB! Good luck with that one.
I KNOW IAN! I KNOW! jeeeeeeesh.
SD - Such kind words about J. Sigh. I think you hit the nail on the head. Perhaps its not so much forgivness...as it is acceptance. We get along fine enough. I never even bring it up. As a matter of fact, I was just texting back and forth with her about the kids and my ankle. However...not so sure if I ever have any intentions of sitting across the dining room table for the dirtbag either.
BETHIE! East Coast girls are SO hip. Ok..and fill me in. When is the Seafood Festival and I have heard nothing about the Bourne Bridge. Let me have it. How is that you live thousands of miles away but know more about what is going on in my own backyard???? LOL.
Little warm here today for a Guiny BH...but coming right up just the same.
SS2H. I must have intuition or something. I was at work today and thought about you and how you might be posting soon. Congrats on the news about you and F21. She is a great gal and you are a great guy! And i read the whole post so I want a beer as well. i have missed you Mr!!!
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Glad you posted. It is always good to get updates and to see how things turned out or are turning out for everyone. I wish you, your children, and J nothing but the best. Thanks for sharing.
I met J at a DB gathering last Summer... She is a really great gal...
Crap..now she's gonna kill me. heehee. 
