This is the major hurdle I'm starting to realise Mike. We can have that ducks back for a long time, but the WAS will always no which buttons will get a reaction.
I re read the MLC for Dummies thread yesterday. I still can't get over how apt that is as it describes my W to a T !!! I think the majority of it also applies to WAS and that there is a fine line between being a WAS and being in a MLC. So similar IMO.
update tonight. Got off work and to the dentist was in the chair for 1 1/2hrs. Had a crown removed, the tooth had a root canal done on it about a month ago, so I had to have the crown removed, impression taken for a new crown...long time in the chair, but part, NO NOVACAINE..the tooth had a root canal so no nerve.
OUCH, 1-1/2 hours that sucks.
Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
Out of the dentist office and over to the house to work for a few minutes..I got the light switch and outlets replaced in the master bedroom, then helped my BIL figure out the wiring for the switch in the bathroom. Changes switches and outlets has become a pain. The old ones are from the 1950's and of course the new ones are different so it can suck till you figure it out. I only got to work on it about 1.5 hrs. I'm going in early in the morning and will get off early so I can run over and work on it some more.
Got to love old houses I rewired my first house it was built in the 40's. Knob and tube wiring. Oh what fun.
Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
Got home around 7:45..had a pretty heated exchange with STBX. Lots of anger boiling up from her and me. It's to be expected I think. I won't be here much this week and will be staying somewhere Friday night if I can find a place to stay. May just have to throw an air mattress in the old house and try it out.
She is probably at her wits end between the dogs and not knowing what you are doing she just needs to get pissed at someone. Lucky you, just don't bit next time.
Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
Trying to get the house fixed is frustrating and slow. Spending my time there is taking away from D and my workout time..
It's a mess any way you look at it..the house, the sitch, STBX, new dogs, me...it's a f'in mess...FUBAR is what it is..
Just go on and do what I have to do is all I can do.
IT is what IT is..as my 2x4 brother from another mother would say...Right Ian??
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY..
Today is a new day, enjoy it and forget about your fight with the STBX.
IT is what IT is..as my 2x4 brother from another mother would say...Right Ian??
Yes sir.... exactly....
Now to this not being able to hold your tongue thing.
What she does or does not do doesn't matter and you know it from your first wife. Let your lawyer fight your battles. That does not mean kiss her asss, it simply means do not allow yourself to show her anything emotionally.
Your anger gives her the satisfaction of knowing that the things she is doing are affecting you. DO NOT GIVE HER THE SATISFACTION.
Mike, you are clear on where you are at. You know what direction all of this is heading. So from now on we focus on getting you to your destination as peacefully and with as much of your hair left as possible.
Be the stand up guy that you are. Show your kids what a real man does when faced with controversy. Your son is getting married soon right? So right now is your opportunity to teach him what to do if god forbid he find himself in your situation.
Your W does not deserve to know that she is still impacting you. Suck it up when you are around her and show her that your life is going to be spectacular without her.
Again, let me make this very clear, I am not getting on you for where you are at.I completely understand it. I want you to walk away with all of your dignity intact. No regrets or bad feelings because you let her have it when you didnt need to. You are stronger than her, remember that.
My wish for you, when your daughter grows up, and hopefully your wife to. Your wife will look to her D and tell her what a stand up guy you were and how she blew it.
Ian
I know Ian I know. Jesus, Mary and Joseph She made me so F'in mad. I said something, I hate I said it.
but I can't dwell on that.
I know she's said things in anger that she did not truly mean and I have too.
damn it.
Quote:
No regrets or bad feelings because you let her have it when you didnt need to
I guess the thing is, I don't feel like what I said was letting her have it when I did not need to. I felt she got what she deserved.
But I know that way of thinking is wrong also..
Awe Hell, what cha gonna do?? What's done is done.
Like I said to you yesterday, we can't always be in perfect DB mode we are human also. You have been lettin things roll of your back for awhile now it gets to ya.
You knew it was bait, you bit said your peace right or wrong like you said; what's done is done.
Phew!!!! I thought you were one of those "perfect guys"... Good to see you are human!!!
Mike, what FG once told me was that "words" in sitches like this, are "gone with the wind". And you know what? It is true. Actions are the ones that stay with you forever and follow you at nights... A few harsh words, although not acceptable because of YOUR standards, will be forgotten. Let it go.
Thinking of you as always M. Sorry about the fight. I almost always regret it but in the moment sometimes you feel you have to let it out. I think we have ALL been there, some of us a few times!
Thinking of you as always M. Sorry about the fight. I almost always regret it but in the moment sometimes you feel you have to let it out. I think we have ALL been there, some of us a few times!
Thanks BBJ. I'm so proud of you. Your working your tale off. You should be proud also. Now if we can only get your DAM to stick his toes just a little farther into the water..
not really as fight. Things said back and forth that are regrettable. Pretty severe and not very pretty.
Update-off work early and to the house. More electrical work. Some guy calls me on my cell wanting Pork Chops and Peaches, don't know what that was about. LOL..anyway, leave the house to get some Therapy from the girl who cuts my hair. She's been D'd twice so she is sympathetic to my sitch. It's good to be able to talk to someone and get their perspective. She's a nice girl with her own small business. She's covered up all the time an has 3 kids, 10-8-6..she is worn out all the time..Got home around 6:45pm..more interaction with the STBX than we have had in 2-3 weeks..I asked her, "can I please have the spare key to the car I drive to work?" My biggest fear is I will lock my keys in the car on the way to work and I would have to call her to come out and get me. She offered up the key and was pleasant while doing it. I then asked her if she wanted to go ahead and start going through the kitchen stuff and dividing the marital property. She agreed and we split stuff up..
so it's down to pots and pans and linens and such. Sad really. Sad state of affairs in this country that it ends up splitting chitt up..you can have this dish, I'll keep this one..sick really. A few times she started in on me..she did not like me looking at things that she had just looked at. I have trust issues with her now. She's done too much, lied..I don't put much past her really...
I'm playing golf tomorrow evening after work. I've been invited by a work associate to play with an outside vendor..Vendor picks up the tab..free golf is right up my alley.
Funfest for me starting Thursday night..
I'm doing OK. The coaster came around a couple of times today..I did not ride..I could tell it was coming but maintained..
Update-off work early and to the house. More electrical work. Some guy calls me on my cell wanting Pork Chops and Peaches, don't know what that was about. LOL..anyway, leave the house to get some Therapy from the girl who cuts my hair. She's been D'd twice so she is sympathetic to my sitch. It's good to be able to talk to someone and get their perspective. She's a nice girl with her own small business. She's covered up all the time an has 3 kids, 10-8-6..she is worn out all the time..Got home around 6:45pm..more interaction with the STBX than we have had in 2-3 weeks..I asked her, "can I please have the spare key to the car I drive to work?" My biggest fear is I will lock my keys in the car on the way to work and I would have to call her to come out and get me. She offered up the key and was pleasant while doing it. I then asked her if she wanted to go ahead and start going through the kitchen stuff and dividing the marital property. She agreed and we split stuff up..
so it's down to pots and pans and linens and such. Sad really. Sad state of affairs in this country that it ends up splitting chitt up..you can have this dish, I'll keep this one..sick really. A few times she started in on me..she did not like me looking at things that she had just looked at. I have trust issues with her now. She's done too much, lied..I don't put much past her really...
I'm playing golf tomorrow evening after work. I've been invited by a work associate to play with an outside vendor..Vendor picks up the tab..free golf is right up my alley.
Funfest for me starting Thursday night..
I'm doing OK. The coaster came around a couple of times today..I did not ride..I could tell it was coming but maintained..
It's Porkchops & Apple sauce not Peaches how many times do I have to tell you that???? LOL! You were a uplifting influence today brother THANKS! Getting your haircut, I have been going to the same gal for over 25 yrs. Had a crush on her when I was 18 (oh god that is so long ago) but I love it when she washes my hair totally theraputic eases my tensions or maybe it's another women running her fingers through my hair not sure LOL!
I can empathize with that splitting up of stuff, like I said today kinda weird how it starts out as love and ends in business what has society done to us???
Free golf??? Did I hear somebody say free golf, nothing better than a free 18 holes dude, especially with the beer cart gal comin round YEA! Have a great time!
Funfest sounds like an awesome time you should have fun not too mention the eye candy ;)!
Good for you recognizing it and letting it pass by.
