Kerry, Glad you're back. Your W does not really want the D it appears despite OM. There are many cases like this on the board. I'm also amazed she's not "fighting" with you either. Other W's (even ones without OMs) are very hostile and "full steam ahead" to get "their" money, etc. What a crazy world this is!
Hi Fb2 - I am lucky to not be fighting with her. Hopefully it will stay that way.
When I got home from the trip, we got out some of the things we bought and collected (rocks) on the trip to show W. At the opal mines in northern Nevada, my kids compelled me to buy some opal jewelry for their mom. There was a beautiful set of ear rings and a pendant for $280 that I got and I told the kids that the pendant was for their mom and the ear rings were for my future girl friend. When W was given the pendant, she saw the ear rings and asked who they were for and I told her it was for my GF. She sure seemed taken back by that and wanted more details. I just clarified and said "future" GF.
When I was showing her some of the pictures and videos on the computer of our trip, she was holding my arm. When she went to leave with the kids, she asked me for a hug which I reluctantly gave her. A couple months ago, I would have been estatic that W was showing affection towards me, but I really have lost the love in my heart for her now.
Hey Kerry, Nice to have you back. Wow, I looked at that picture of you and the kids....breathtaking. As far as W is concerned, she sure is acting like she is having some doubts. hypothetical sitch....what would your reaction be if she wanted back in?
She has tried to convince me that she is letting me free to find a better woman for myself. If she would want back, she would have to do an amazing job of explaining her change of mind and convince me why I should take her back after her betrayal of our family. She would need to seek counseling for herself and be willing to do marriage counseling together. I would need her to make me understand why she broke her vows to me. She also would need to convince me that she is truely remorseful for what she has done. And she would need to convince me that this would never happen again and I would require her to sign a post nuptial agreement which in my mind is two fold - it would protect me if my pot of gold comes around and it proves to me that my W wants me not for my money and security, but for me.
I know that is reaching for the stars and that it does not happen that way in piecing, but I am at the point where I dont want her as my W anymore. I have seen outside the fence and I know the grass can be greener on the other side.
My L sent a strong letter to my W's L today stating that dismissal of the D is coming up on Jul 26 and if they continue to drag their feet that he will get a default judgment from the court. This next week should be interesting - time to break out the popcorn.
...I know the grass can be greener on the other side.
It's not greener on the other side, you just have to water it where you are!!! I heard that somewhere around here and it's always stuck with me.
Again we seem to be at similar places. I think the more comfortable we get with the idea of being without them, the more insecure they get. Keep doing what you're doing. It will be interesting to see what happens with the lawyers. We can officially apply for a D in Sept...we'll see what happens. Hope everything else is going well for you, sounds like your vacation was fun!! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
W did get a voice message from her L wanting to talk with her tomorrow. She wants to know what happened to the lady L she had before. I figure that she is no longer with that firm or she did not like my W's attitude about their billing. W also did not have any idea that we have been waiting for there side to file a response or come up with a proposal to us.
I think that waiting has been good because it just proves that she intends on staying with OM and hopefully will negate any spousal support from me. I can only hope and put my confidence in my experienced L.
LOL! That's a good one (how do we get to the gorge).
You are right about being one of America's best kept secrets. But the thing is, we only don't want them moving to Portland. They can move to any other part of the state if they want...as no one lives there! hee hee! I grew up in a town of population 2,000 and another town pop. 200. And there are hundreds of towns like that! They can all move there.
DQ
Let them move to Coos Bay/North Bend! Not only do I have a house to sell them, this area needs a few more doses of normal.
