It is sad to see the road both us were forced to travel. We both married to be with the woman we loved and trusted. It was so very disappointing they both failed us. Not that either of us expected our wives to be perfect; we never did. We simply expected them to be partners in life - dealing with obstacles and challenges as they arose. When the going got tough, in their mind or actuality, they bailed.
For me, that was the toughest aspect. Watching the woman I helped in so many ways just leave. Worse yet, she attempted to assault me, my character and our past while walking out the door. Talk about adding insult to injury.
With that being said, we were given a great gift - a new life. We could choose how to live it AND what new woman we wanted to be with. I could write volumes about my new wife; suffice to say Ronnee is a MASSIVE upgrade over Kim. We have such a full and rewarding marriage.
From your posts, I believe you are taking the "great gift" and crafting something wonderful out of it. I hope and pray you and J find all of the best.
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 07/24/0807:58 PM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
it's natural to mourn the end of your M. This is not what anyone wants on their wedding day. A chapter of your life is closing, and it's going to hurt. I suspect your W probably feels it too, even if she doesn't show it.
But as one door closes, another one opens. It seems to me you're not going to spend too long looking at the closed door but go through that new one. But don't feel bad about allowing yourself a little mourning period, it's perfectly understandable.
Was just out on the patio listening to a CD ... one of the songs which played had some lyrics which made me think of you: "Take a deep breath, and ask yourself the question Is this my death? Or is it just a new direction? Take a deep breath and go ah-ah ah-ah ah-ahah..."
So take that deep breath .... and when you're ready, go for your new direction.
One final note - thank YOU too, you have been superb at talking me off the ledge a couple of times. Thank you. I'm hoping to get over to the USA next year (a friend's wedding in Florida) and I hope I would be able to meet you, and others on here, in person. You are one great guy!
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
Wow...well thank you everyone. Ummm...note to self...don't read responses on iphone while waiting for your take out. There was a little throat clearing going on in there.
Everything said is true. Not sure what else to add. Ian - you have been like a brother to me as well and I can't even begin to explain how much your friendship means to me.
Yes I have outgrown her and yes both my kids and I are happier this way. And it is the path that my life had to take..and I'm at peace with that.
NMD...yup. I'm much wiser and more mature than I was when I got married. I understand a lot better now what is involved in making it work and I'm aware of the type of person I need to be with in order to make it work.
Oh Jen...once again you hit the nail on the head. I was reading all this and started to think about how it's just a normal part of the mourning process.
On Columbus Day in 1993 a very close friend of mine killed himself. Actually - side not...two nights before he did it we were all out and he turned to STBX (GF) at the time and told her that i was in her hands now and to take care of me....oh well for that. Anyway....For a long long time, not a day went by that I did not think about him. And although I now don't think about him every day...I still think of him a lot and there certainly isn't a Columbus Day that goes by that I don't get a bit of sadness in my heart.
I'm sure every 10/14 from here on out...some sadness will fill my heart. Sadness for what could have been. What should have been. But wasn't. Will I go on and live a great life without her in it...just as I am without my friend? Of course. But it's ok to mourn it too. And I'll allow myslef that. My M deserves to be mourned.
Jen it has been my superb pleasure my darling to talk you off of each and ever ledge I could. And OMG...I would like nothing more than to see you if you come the good ol' US of A!
Do we have a date yet? My sister lives in FLA. Uh oh..as does Tyson. Careful.
Oh wait MMMMMMHMMM(lips) wouldn't be Bean without the lips.
Mamasemamasamamcusa
I hate to even know when you are hurt, b/c You know it makes me wanna trip her in an alley way.
Oh, but to think that way is such of waste of time really.
The one to focus on here is you.
You my buddy, that came into my life bringing a spirit of joy, drama, and high maintanance
You, have taught me so much, you have helped me so much, you have helped become a better parent also.
What your STBX has done is wrong on so many levels, yes she does not know any better. She feels the need to run, and try again, and when that trying again, does not suit her needs, she will run and try again.
Thank God you are secure enough to not run, and try again. You my dear white boy (heehee) will take what comes head on, and do what you can to nip it in the bud and make the best and most out of it.
So grieve what you need to grieve lovey, it is all part of the process.
You have handled yourself with grace, and dignity.
Your children are so loved and so very blessed. Take a hold of that love and joy and be thankfuland you will always come out on top boo!
You are warm, and loving, and a great shoulder, and a great friend.
Thank you for all that YOU have done.
Your children have you, and the blessings are boundless, for that reason
Luv you Booooooooooooooooo!
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
aaawww thanks Bean! Sigh. To say that I helped YOU to become a better parent is just humbling. And BTW I bought them all journals. Every night they write in them and I sneak into their rooms at night and write a response. They LOVE it! So thank you.
I'm totally estatic over the fact that you and f21 are moving forward with your R,,,this couldn't of happened to 2 of the nicest people around,,and so deserving!
No wonder I can't get J to return any of my calls or tm's,,shes' on the phone with you,,he he! I wish you guys all the best and expect to be asked to help her move when the time comes,,would love to help out someone who helped me in soooo many ways. And yes in deed, WA to MA is a far drive,,ya know CO is right in the middle there,,hint hint.
I'm in debt forever
Luv ya, Kim
Last edited by Kim07; 08/17/0807:07 AM.
M44H44 M18 T22 Sep7yrs-3/10 S23,22,15,11 10/07I file 2/08D postponed by H 2/09D on 3/09H moves in 8/09I kick H out 9/09H-PA 10/09-2/10mediate 3/10OW discoved 5/10H&OW engaged 7/10DDay w/atty
And OMG...I would like nothing more than to see you if you come the good ol' US of A!
