How long did you wait before being D and starting your interviews if I may ask.
Sure.... I started lining them up the day after the D was final.........
I made it totally clear to my exW I wanted to be with her and work on the M more than anything....... I made tons of noticeable changes... She told me over and over there was no chance for our M.... She just wanted out.......... She had 90 chances (days) to change her mind.... I also gave her one "last chance" by sending her an e-mail "opening the door" roughly five months after the D......
You must also keep in mind I flat out told her I would NOT be having sex/ML until I was married.... So, she knew where I stood... I was not out "playing around" for a while and then wanting to work on our M... We had the following exchange:
---------------------------------------------------------------- WAW: You should date. If you find a woman to have sex with, you should.
My Reply: I plan on having lots of sex with my new wife.
Note: I am doing EXACTLY that now..... ----------------------------------------------------------------
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
I was hoping and praying we would be working on our M... However, I had my plan in place just in case my exW went through with it.... At that point, I wanted nothing more than to see if we could make our M work....... God had much better things in store for me....
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
This thread will probably be locked tonight - it's passed 100 posts.
I will not start another thread. It is time to graduate and do some "real time" thought processing - as opposed post to process before actually acting.
Some other thoughts.... I have never requested that posts be censored or complained about content - b/c it is not my job to monitor BB content.
However, when I first started posting a little over 5 years ago, the Surviving Section was about Surviving. It was a very different place. Sometimes people tell me that occasionally I post wise things - but really most of what I post are what others posted to me. A large percentage of posts use to be like my posts - okay maybe not the inflamatory ones - but the more sane ones.
It was NOT a WAS bashing section. Michele use to post here every once in awhile back then and seriously 2x4 people that engaged in the "I am an LBS and therefore somehow a better person b/c I am not a WAS". The WAS lynch mob mentality is a little unsettling... The word detachment use to appear in so many posts back then. One of the wisest posters that carried me was savedwoman - she had an affair and had been a WAS - and then tried to save her M, I think she is the one... In this day an age - we no longer brand people with scarlett letters on foreheads b/c they screwed up during a phase of their life. And sometimes the LBS uses the initial WAS behavior as justification to engage in not so great behavior themselves. Maybe Michele will find time to stop by again to set the right tone again.
It was NOT a geriatric frat party section. There were fun threads and there was sexual innuendo - but well not quite as raw as things are today.
It was NOT a flirt with your P that I met on this BB section. Yes, there were DB hook ups and DB R's. When people did end up together - they actually posted about how they addressed R issues.
There use to actually be goal setting at one time. Once again Michele would sometimes stop by and pull a poster or two in-line with the DB philosophies.
Perhaps all things change and evolve with time and 5 years is a long time. It is quite possible that my approach is a little dated in 2008...
In any case, other than Soup and naej, the other posters that carried me and 2x4 me 5 years ago are no longer here. The first person that posted to me was apeman. There were so many people Soup, Dulcie, Rose, savedwoman, Acorn, a guy that moved into his basement after the bomb, marchhare, SteveO, RJ, TonyP, Chuck, JoJo, Mal, MSF, Rabbit - I have forgotten some of the usernames - it feels like it was an eternity ago...
Summer and Iwondertoo carried me through my last growth spurt when I uninvited The Guest last December.
There are some survivors that post in the old tradition, N_Hill, A_O, Happy Today...
I will post to the posters I have been posting to actively - but then after that it is time to let this part of my life go and move onto those parts of my life that are a better fit for where I am today.
I don't know very many of you on the BB anymore. However I wish you the very best of luck surviving the big D. The pain really does go away and there does come a time when you go to sleep at night on day and realize that you have not thought of your X once during the entire day. And that heavy feeling in the middle of your chest and in the pit of your stomach - really does go away with time.
SG - I am so sorry I forgot your name. You really helped me through some of the really tough times too. And you have always been a few steps ahead of me - so I was kinda sorta ready for the next surviving phase in front of me.
I am sorry I lied. To those people I was posting to - I cannot do it.
The only thing I am more allergic to than organized religion is listening to stay at home wives or wives that work for fun money justifying their right to their sense of entitlement.
I posted about how the rich housewife Bunco parties drove me up the wall.
I would rather go to an NRA meeting that a stay at home housewife gathering.
it seems AG that you are trying to impress with all the things you have done...
there is no one who is better than anyone else
except for those people who bring joy...they are better than the ones who smear nasties
going to towel off after your diatribe
good luck on millionaires.com make sure you remind them that you are hypocritical and judge people based on their choices to be a sahm or someone in the social services field.
I chose to be a teacher not because I am lazy or dumb or couldn't hack a "career" in the business world. I did that and felt like I wasn't utilizing my full potential. That was just me. I would never presume to state that my lifestyle is better than anyone else's. It is just mine.
with all that bitterness, why not try something else because you seem like a pretty unhappy person
I don't know very many of you on the BB anymore. However I wish you the very best of luck surviving the big D. The pain really does go away and there does come a time when you go to sleep at night on day and realize that you have not thought of your X once during the entire day. And that heavy feeling in the middle of your chest and in the pit of your stomach - really does go away with time.
Nice words, and good luck to you!
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
