M, thanks again for stopping on my thread, always good to hear your opinion.
House repairs like DBing, so true.
I've done some of it myself, redid the majority of my fathers house as payment for college. tore out the upstairs rooms and attic and made it one big room. His house is an old farmhouse that started out post and beam and has been added to over the last 100 years or so. most ceilings were 6.5 ft. all lathe and plaster, and bricks as insulation.
I've found that work can go on and on and have very little visible results, and all of a sudden theres a day that it all comes together and you step back and theres been major progress without you realizing it.
Never, no wait, Always remember to take pictures along the way. I didnt and I really regret it.
Actually i think it would be cool to take a picture of an open wall, somewhere with interesting wires/plumbing/etc. blow it up to life size, maybe 2x4 ft and after the room is done, hang it right where the picture was taken.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
Update today,..off work and to the TUX shop to try on the tux and pick it up. I must say, I looked good. While trying the Tux on I felt the roller coaster coming..Triggers..I've not had a tux on in 8 years..May 13th,2000..I had a tux on..Triggers, I hate triggers.
Out of the tux shop and over to Lowe's to pick up a few more items for the house. My D's room is done and is now being decorated.My older sis and mother can't wait until the house is done before they decorate D's room. I learned a long time ago to just stand back and stay out of the way..It's safer that way. The bed and some furniture for her has been moved in, drapes are up. It looks good, princess theme..even has her own little princess throne chair..needs some stuff on the wall but it's coming a long. I finished master bedroom today so it's ready for furniture. I put the 1/4 round in the hallway and caulked it. Hallway is done..I felt the coaster coming while over there. I felt angry when thinking about moving..It makes me mad that I have to move just because STBX won't work on the M. Triggers, I hate triggers.
On the way home STBX called my cell. 1st phone call in about 5 weeks. Ask me to pick up milk for D on the way home..got home late, not much time with D..I'm tired, I'm wore out..more triggers, I hate triggers.
Work tomorrow, rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. Will not get to work on the house again until Sunday..
A memory popped into my head on the way home tonight, it's good in a way and bad in a way. When STBX and I married we picked out a wedding song just like everyone does..We picked Keith Urban singing, " I wanna Be Your Everything" any way I used to sing it to STBX..I'm not a great singer but the words always got her attention..
The first time I looked in your eyes I knew That I would do anything for you The first time you touched my face I felt What I had never felt with anyone else I wanna give back what you've given to me And I wanna witness all of your dreams Now that you've shown me who I really am I wanna be more than just your man
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And Be the hand that lifts your veil And Be the moon that moves your tides The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheel that never rusts And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more I wanna be your everything
When you wake up I'll be the first thing you see And when it gets dark you can reach out to me I'll cherish your words And I'd finish your thoughts And I’ll be your compass baby when you get lost
I wanna be the wind that fills your sails And be the hand that lifts your veil Be the moon that moves your tides The sun coming up in your eyes Be the wheel that never rusts Be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more I wanna be your everything
I'll be the wheel that never rusts And be the spark that lights you up All that you've been dreaming of and more So much more I wanna be your everything I wanna be your everything I wanna be your everything
By the way, have I told you guys about Triggers?? I hate F'in triggers..now my story...anyway about 4 months after we were married guess who comes to Bristol Motor Speedway for a free country concert outside the complex?? Keith Urban. So STBX and I load a cooler of beer in the car, a couple of lawn chairs and take off. We get there and there maybe 4,000-5000 people there..He put on a really good show, the beer was cold, STBX and I had not been married long so everything we did was new and exciting...well old Keith decides he's gonna sing that song, Our song..I'm holding STBX's hand and Keith starts singing..I look at her, stand up, pull her up, and we dance a nice slow dance..me looking in her eyes, her looking in mine. It was nice, it was special..It was totally out of character for me to do that. I was quite, reserved..I did it for her I guess..The only two out of thousands that danced to that song sang by Keith Urban, in the middle of a field..It's a good memory...Triggers, I hate F'in triggers...
My son's wedding..it's a trigger. Don't know if I'm scared for him, happy for him, don't know what it is..The coaster came around lots today. To my credit I felt it coming, recognized it for what it was and stayed off the ride.
Triggers never go away buddy. You just have to figure out how to treasure the memory instead of the current status.Those were good times that you will never ever lose so cherish them.
Did you get your son and new daughter the 5 love languages book? Makes for a great wedding present.
Did you get your son and new daughter the 5 love languages book? Makes for a great wedding present.
As a matter of fact I did . When they announced I gave it to them. They had pre-marriage C also. They just don't seem excited Ian. I worry it won't last..they have strikes against them..it bothers me.
Mike, strikes early may be better. It forces them to deal with issues early on and learn a major skill necessary to survive a marriage, how to properly disagree.
I assume you have spoken with your son and shared your wisdom on these matters?
Mike, strikes early may be better. It forces them to deal with issues early on and learn a major skill necessary to survive a marriage, how to properly disagree.
I assume you have spoken with your son and shared your wisdom on these matters?
Ian
Yes I have, problem is, kids get real stupid from about 16-26..they can't and don't/won't hear things because they think they know it all..Hopefully the pre-M C helped..
We are our fathers to some extent Ian, and that just worries the hell out of me. Hopefully he learned some stuff while growing up..he's lived Divorce since he was 10, she's adopted and has her own issues..
oh well..what ya gonna do?? Dress in a tux and show up I suppose and pray for the best
Will you share pictures of the wedding on the alternate universe? What is your lil darling wearing?
You know all your fears for your son. What are the wonders you see in him? What do you think will make a difference?
Triggers bring you back to a place that's being rewritten during divorce drama. Good times were better, bad times were worse. Memories are precious but reality has an edge.
When triggers happen you have a choice. Shoot yourself in the foot and get stuck in them or get really busy. Both work, both do 'something'.. it's just easier to get stuck wallowing inadvertently when you shoot yourself.
Your son's wedding should be a source of joy, accomplishment. He's met someone he's pledging himself to in front of trusted friends and family. They are probably very conscious about what you're going through. They feel your hurt at the same time they're planning their lives. It's a tough balancing act.
