No worries brother. It's early. Everything will be ok. That will be buried soon enough. You'll be glad you did it. You'll really "see" the light. These never ending threads really amaze me..Mine just seem to go on and on and on..
I'm laughing at some of the exchanges today, there appears to be humour in the air here at DB !!!
God Arthur, did you expect anymore here on one of my threads..it's either pain and heartbreak or comedy and belly laughs..I'd rather have the comedy myself. I wish we had virtual shots we could do and get the true effects..
M as Mark Twain once said: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned."
since then, the ages have changed, but the idea is the same. the kids will come around, we can only hope they do it sooner than later.
Whats your thoughts on rewiring your triggers? Make this wedding the new tux trigger. keep your tux an extra day and wear it fishing. take your D to breakfast wearing it, ya know, the Princess and her Prince out for waffles?
I used this basic concept to quit smoking. Each day/week i would push back my first cig by a few minutes until eventually it would be when i was leaving work. at the same time i was pushing forward my last cig until it was also when i left work. then when i finally decided to have my last, the only trigger i had to worry about was while i was driving home. i knew if i could get home and out of the car, i'd be ok for the day.
Each of my triggers were phased out one at a time, the first cig with my morning coffee, with my drive in to work, after lunch, before bed, etc. and I always knew that even if i faltered one day, thats ok, i wasnt quitting cold turkey, there was no failure, and it was a process. I gave myself a few months to do this, and it really works.
This process has worked for me quitting smoking many times. heheh.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
Whats your thoughts on rewiring your triggers? Make this wedding the new tux trigger. keep your tux an extra day and wear it fishing. take your D to breakfast wearing it, ya know, the Princess and her Prince out for waffles?
Ken, I like this--very good--this is outside the box for sure.
Quote:
This process has worked for me quitting smoking many times. heheh.
Hello all..I see this bad boy ain't locked up yet so I'll just roll with it for a bit. Got off work today and did some shopping for the house. Bought stuff for D's room to make her feel at home. I had also packed up a few pictures of STBX from my office and took them over to the house and placed them in D's new room. I will attempt to get some pics of my STBX's mom and dad, her brother and W and their son to place in my D's room. It's very important to me that D feels the room is a home away from home..I will not erase my STBX and her family from my D when my D is with me.. The pictures are there for her to see. I'll try to get pictures of D's room on Sunday. It's an awesome room. I'm really proud of it.
I feel I have been erased from this house. My D sees no pictures up of me anywhere. STBX took them all down weeks ago.
After shopping and dropping the stuff off at he house I ran over to meet STBX to pick up D for the rehearsal dinner. D did not cooperate to well but what ya gonna do..She's only two. Maybe she will do good tomorrow. The rehearsal was sort of hari kari..the dinner was good. I also found things rather humorous. I've been divorced from my sons mother since 1993. It was a bitter divorce. I was mad forever and I know she was/is too..anyway I sort of find it comical..she just totally ignores me. I also find it comical that she is just "same old, same old" she's not changed a bit. Her new husband talks to me every time he sees me..I just think it's funny the way she acts.
We got in pretty late. Sounds like D may be off schedule tonight cause she's still up.
On a sitch note--STBX has talked to me 2 days in a row now. There had been no and I do mean NO communication for days..only words spoken were about D..last 2 days I have been engaged..this worries me a bit. She's being too nice-something is up.
Going out in the morning but will hanging around close to her tomorrow due to the wedding tomorrow night..
Hello all..I see this bad boy ain't locked up yet so I'll just roll with it for a bit. Got off work today and did some shopping for the house. Bought stuff for D's room to make her feel at home. I had also packed up a few pictures of STBX from my office and took them over to the house and placed them in D's new room. I will attempt to get some pics of my STBX's mom and dad, her brother and W and their son to place in my D's room. It's very important to me that D feels the room is a home away from home..I will not erase my STBX and her family from my D when my D is with me.. The pictures are there for her to see. I'll try to get pictures of D's room on Sunday. It's an awesome room. I'm really proud of it.
I feel I have been erased from this house. My D sees no pictures up of me anywhere. STBX took them all down weeks ago.
Good going Mike, That is a great idea. Just because you and your STBX are not together does not mean you should have a HER vs ME when it comes to your D. Your being the better man here.
Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
After shopping and dropping the stuff off at he house I ran over to meet STBX to pick up D for the rehearsal dinner. D did not cooperate to well but what ya gonna do..She's only two. Maybe she will do good tomorrow. The rehearsal was sort of hari kari..the dinner was good. I also found things rather humorous. I've been divorced from my sons mother since 1993. It was a bitter divorce. I was mad forever and I know she was/is too..anyway I sort of find it comical..she just totally ignores me. I also find it comical that she is just "same old, same old" she's not changed a bit. Her new husband talks to me every time he sees me..I just think it's funny the way she acts.
Life is too short to stay angry at someone for so long. My parents still do not get along. Get over it and move on. UGH!!
Originally Posted By: M from Tennessee
We got in pretty late. Sounds like D may be off schedule tonight cause she's still up.
On a sitch note--STBX has talked to me 2 days in a row now. There had been no and I do mean NO communication for days..only words spoken were about D..last 2 days I have been engaged..this worries me a bit. She's being too nice-something is up.
Going out in the morning but will hanging around close to her tomorrow due to the wedding tomorrow night..
A 2 year old off schedule and in a wedding, should be a fun time.
And about your W, I would just keep doing what you have been doing. She may or she may not be planning something but there is nothing you can do about it. You are being a great father and working on a house for your D and yourself nothing she can do could make you look bad.
Hey bro. I somehow missed your 'triggers' post. That was a sweet story... it's a sweet memory. You should hang on to that rather than the things that happened in more recent months.
Strange that your 1st ex wife still won't try to be friendly with you - especially at your son's rehersal dinner! Too bad for her, I guess.
Hope you have a beautiful time tonight. I can understand your worry about your son and his new bride. If I had known better, I would have read DR, Love Languages, For Women Only, Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and on and on. Divorce is too common and too ugly. My best wishes for your boy. I still can't believe you have a son old enough to get married!
xo, R
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
