Last night was heart-wrenching. I thought I had proof that my h had had an affair or was at least prepared for the opportunity to come up.
He ended up calling me and I did answer. He said that there is no one else and that he had no plans for someone else. He asked me to come home and I did. We talked and held each other and cried.
Before he went to bed he said that the only thing he was sure of in this world is that I love him and that he will always love me. We slept apart and I had a hard time sleeping.
I feel like I'm starting back at step one now. I am certain that I am more in love with my husband than ever. Now I need to work hard and show how much I love him by taking care of me.
I'm reading Getting Through to the Man You Love. I will give him space today. I will do my thing and try to let yesterday just go.
Last edited by The Wifey; 07/30/0812:29 PM.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Now I need to work hard and show how much I love him by taking care of me.
that's a great plan. how are you going to do it?
Originally Posted By: The Wifey
..........and try to let yesterday just go.
Kjo...what does my quote say? Yesterday is the past. Learn from it. But you can't change it. I know it's difficult. It's really hard for me...more often than not..... but you need to move on and not dwell on it
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
I understand. The funny thing is I think he felt empathy for me last night for loving him and thinking he'd cheated on me. He was irritated to be accused of something, but he understood the hurt.
I am ok this morning, but definitely feel a little lost. My God, will this just be one more thing that he holds against me? But, I had to ask him. I shouldn't have written the note and left it and left the house. I should have just asked him or let it go.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Learn from it Kjo....that's the only thing you can do. Even when we make mistakes, we need to learn from them, or else we will do the same things again and again...."cheeseless tunnels" ya know? that's why when i make mistakes and backslide i learn from them (the incident on sunday, the dress yesterday, etc). I know better now and will do it differently next time...
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
I will learn from it. I hope he learned something, also. That this thing he is going through isn't happening in a bubble that only affects him. Yes, he's seen me cry through this, but I think last night is the first time he understood how it hurts me. He'd had a time where he thought I had an a, which I hadn't. He felt the hurt and so I think he empathized.
If he does hold it against me I can't stop him. I can only learn and go on.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I'm breathing and after that I'm smiling, too. Thanks for the pick me up. I must be doing better, because the lows don't seem to last as long. Either that or I am just a stark, raving lunatic and am so off my rocker that I am smiling like a mindless idiot.
Last night was bad, but it isn't the end.
Ok, Neil, I am going to work on me today by baking cookies to bring into work tomorrow, doing laundry, reading and having a glass of wine.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Three small, doable in the next 2 weeks action-oriented and positively stated relationship goals:
1. To be able to smile and say hello when he comes home without having to go up and give him a hug or kiss. (Giving him space)
2. To be able to read when he wants to be close or when he wants to have space, and to be able to divert myself into some other activity without reacting badly at those times.
3. To be calm and consistent, without reacting, for the two weeks. ( I realize to make this goal I start with the next few minutes and then the next hour, then the day, etc.)
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Kelly Jo, none of this stuff is easy is it? I want to direct you to someone who dealt with things very similar to what you are dealing with when it came to trying to work on rebuilding the R.
I believe sometimes you have to look for resources and then humble yourself enough to ask for help. Go see Rob, ask him to come take a look. He has some of the greatest perspective that I have heard on these boards. He helped me tremendously and has a way of clearly defining some goals for you to try and reach for.
