He did/said something that has me so pissed off I can't even post about it yet. Maybe I'm being hyper-sensitive (it has to do with sex), but I just CANNOT believe what a selfish prick I married. SELFISH JERK.
At least this new development has obliterated my little miss sunshine sweetheart phase. It's all about ME now. I'm not going to be a B*tch about things, but my objective will be all about me without worrying about his feelings/future.
I'm going to go workout and post more later today.
Maybe the men will be able to shed some light on the inner workings of a man's mind.
xo
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
He did/said something that has me so pissed off I can't even post about it yet. Maybe I'm being hyper-sensitive (it has to do with sex), but I just CANNOT believe what a selfish prick I married. SELFISH JERK.
At least this new development has obliterated my little miss sunshine sweetheart phase. It's all about ME now. I'm not going to be a B*tch about things, but my objective will be all about me without worrying about his feelings/future.
I'm going to go workout and post more later today.
Maybe the men will be able to shed some light on the inner workings of a man's mind.
xo
sis, I understand. i know what you're going through. I know, I know. Believe me I'm living it at the moment..
Hope the workout helped you work things out, give a different perspective.
Saw the pooch psychologist who said that although our dog is complicated that she thinks we'll be able to resolve her problems. Spending that type of money on a dog now feels much different than before now that the purse strings are getting tighter.
Hope your day goes wonderful. He must have been a bad boy to get you so riled! Being riled though, can be a very good thing.
I got some Oreos and I am planning to eat some tonight (shhhh, don't let Gypsy know), you want to share...?
BTW, that "cherish" paragraph decsribes just the way I feel. Love K
Yes, I'd love to share some Oreos, K. Isn't it strange to lose weight on a diet consisting of ice cream and Oreos?
You know, I was thinking of you when I wrote that "cherish" paragraph. It was a "What Would Kalni Say" (WWKS) moment. =) Your strength has really inspired me. I love myself now and I deserve so much better. As do you.
xo
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Yes, I'd love to share some Oreos, K. Isn't it strange to lose weight on a diet consisting of ice cream and Oreos?
I know!!! I keep checking my weight and it only goes down, WTF?
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
You know, I was thinking of you when I wrote that "cherish" paragraph. It was a "What Would Kalni Say" (WWKS) moment. =) Your strength has really inspired me. I love myself now and I deserve so much better. As do you.
Yep, I can't wait to hold that special man in my arms that will really treat me as I should be treated, will want to be with me (for a change) and what I want and feel will be on the top of his list... These men actually exist you know? Faith and positive thinking is all we need girlfriend (and a couple of pairs of peep toe shoes along with the right attitude ) Love K
K, I'm soooo happy to make you feel good. You deserve to feel fabulous. Now maybe you'll realize how much you have helped people here. So don't go anywhere just yet, OK?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I'm moving through my grief stages fairly quickly. Last week was "acceptance" and today I'm on to "anger."
My h initiated sex (AGAIN) in the middle of the night on Friday. I turned him down, of course. But his initiation got me curious. I've made it perfectly clear that I was no longer interested in that. I explained to him that I needed to feel a "connection" in order to enjoy it and that I understood if he could turn off his emotions, but I couldn't. I also previously mentioned that doing that with him gives me false hope and I am absolutely not interested in that.
So on Saturday morning I sent him a text asking him if he was messing with my mind, trying to fulfill his needs or ??? I told him that I was pretty numb, so he didn't need to worry about hurting my feelings, but I would like an honest answer, please. Of course, no reply and no conversation when I get home. Yesterday (as I'm packing) he asks when I am moving (duh, we've already talked about this. Helloooo... do you ever listen? Ever???) and I said (with a smile), "this week". Then he just looks at me and doesn't say anything. So I look away and continue with my packing. Finally he says something to the effect of him just getting "horny" in the middle of the night. I told him I appreciated his honesty and continued on with my work. BUT, OH MY GOD, I was shaking from my anger. How could he continue to use me that way?
Reading what I just wrote doesn't seem like I'm blowing things out of proportion, but I've been BENDING OVER BACKWARDS to save this B.S. marriage. I've given him so much of myself... and all with so much love. THIS is what I get in return? You get "horny"? PUKE.
Last week I was so full of compassion for him... worried about how he'll handle everything. What a damn fool I have been. I AM SO OVER HIM.
I'm being sweet as pie to his face, but if he could hear the conversation that's going on in my head...
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I don't think it sounds like you are blowing anything out of proportion. Using you is what it is, and it is certainly reasonable for you to be upset by it, and to put a stop to it!
Understanding decent men and decent women is difficult enough. Understanding the H or W in these situations is 100% impossible. I can only speak to my own situation, but the level of selfishness and selfcentereness is off the charts. It borders on absolute insanity. No reason can make a dent. I don't even try anymore. I am hoping the insanity will diminish with me being a bystander. An "in the dark" bystander I might add.
M: 52 W: 45 M: 21 yrs D: 20 S: 17 D: 15 OM Started 02/2008 Bomb: 5/1/2008 W Moved out: 6/10/2008
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