Detaching

[CMNM]

For crying out loud, she did not suggest that bible believing Christians go elsewhere.

Just suggesting that those who rely primarily and wholly on bible verses,prayer and newsletters from other sites and take offence and indeed regard other pov as attacks from the enemy would be happier elsewhere.IMO

I take this to mean that if you are going to put up post after post after post about how your spouse has done you wrong and how much it makes you suffer THEN you attack the person who nicely suggests that you perhaps try another tactic besides simply standing AND suffering that you should try another site that will recognize that tactic.

It doesn't mean don't come here to post, but if you do, be kind and willing to listen to other points of view. How come some people can come on here and whip the 2X4 around and get away with it (oh yes, they are the "experts"...see? I can do sarcasm, too) while others are made to feel like they are heartless horrible people?

The more I see how much fighting goes on with a BB that is supposedly made up of people with the same goal in mind the more I understand just why so many people are here.

[sgctxok]

It's up to the individual whether they want to DB, or stand or not.

I am NEVER going to challenge someone to move on. I will ask folks who are being abused to seek help immediately...and to leave if they are in danger.

I do challenge those who recommend that someone move on. This is the site for hope. It is our job to put the marriage first. You don't know what the person is able to do. Even if you think you know. The rest of the world around them will be telling them to move on. This is likely the only place they come where they hear ideas about saving their marriage. Unless THEY SAY and show ACTION they have decided to quit, OUR JOB is to BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS for them.

Many folks leave or kick their spouses out and a year or two later regret it and wished they had tried longer or just stood.

[naej]

Bill, I had already come to this conclusion

I am sorry that I have not expressed myself clearly my point was
"

Before people jump on me for my opinions I am not singling out any particular person or people. Just suggesting that those who rely primarily and wholly on bible verses, prayer and newsletters from other sites and take offence and indeed regard other pov as attacks from the enemy would be happier elsewhere.IMO

I myself am a practising Christian and indeed have seen prayer work many times. I have no wish to ostrizise any group. In deed some of my extended family suffered greatly in Nazi Germany because of ethnic cleansing.I am shocked that people would even consider I had such thoughts.
I hope you may reread my post and perhaps recognise what I however poorly worded it meant.
I shall no longer post.

[sleeper]

Now I understand how wars get started.

If we can misunderstand each other that easily just think how much easier it is for a bunch of old diplomats with hearing problems recieving information through translators to misunderstand each other. Maybe the greatest hope for world peace is to call home all diplomats and shut down the United Nations.

In the beginning (no pun intended) of my post I said, "Everyone must decide what is right for themselves and their situation." Then I went on to point out how doing the right thing is not often the easy thing to do. I did bring my faith into my post because it is my faith and therefore affects my personal decision of what is right for me to do. I would expect everyone's personal beliefs to affect their decision too. I was not attempting to proselytize. Seems like Jesus mentioned something about his name would bring division.

For most of my life I had a juvenile belief system that if a person did the right thing and made right choices then good things would happen to them. Then one day I had the realization that Jesus did the right thing and most would consider the end of his physical life on earth in such a manner and at such a young age to be a negative outcome. It put choices and outcomes in perspective for me. All of us here would like for our decisions to be outcome based but that is not always the way it is. My main point was that everyone has to do what they believe is right for them but while doing so we should realize that the right thing is not always the easiest thing to do.

Naej, as far a remarrying, I presently have no desire to, nor do I have any desire to date. I have spent some time thinking about both topics and to be honest I still believe myself to be married. The state I live in no longer recognizes my marriage but I believe a higher authority does.

Shalom

Salaam

Peace

[sgctxok]

This is not a bible based site. The site attracts a lot of Christians and Christians are pretty 'vocal' about being Christian and there isn't anything wrong with that.

I completely agree with Bill's views ... I don't care what your base is....our common bond is saving marriages here. And where Bill and I will challenge each other.....Bill has helped many a person save their marriage and we share that perspective.

My concern is that folks who come from other traditions and faiths feel welcome here, and I know some are uncomfortable....and I think we should be sensitive to that (including me).

He's right about female blonds with blue eyes though (jk).

[naej]

Thank you CMNM, I am glad that you at least have understood my pov.


Sg, I have never advised anyone to "move on" I take you mean to D by that.
I have advised and suggest people stop doing nothing and sit waiting for their m to be miraculously saved to actually be pro active and GAL. To move forward, to look at their part in the breakdown of their marriage.I also believe prayer helps but I think we also need to DB our marriage, isn't that the whole point of this site? Isn't that why we buy M W Davis books? or should we all rush out and just buy the Bible asuming we don't already own one.

I have already made my view known that whilst other sites that are mentioned are edited out Rejoice Ministries gets free advertising continually I find that strange.

I am sorry that after many years on this BB and no I did not save my marriage. I did survive and lead a happy life dispite losing the man who had been by my side for over 45 years of my life. That let me tell you was by no means easy. I worked D** hard to bring myself back from the edge of insanity and despair, a huge part of that was the help given to me by folks on this site.

I now feel I am being hounded out because a woman I tried to help by suggesting she may need to try something different with both her alcohoic waw h and abusive son suggests I am the enemy ie read devil incarnate.
And yes if this post sounds angry then you read that bit right at least.

[CMNM]

I understand your anger and I am sorry you have been made to feel this way.

Hugs,
Pam

[sleeper]

Naej,

I don't think you are the "devil incarnate" and never did. I am also saddened that you feel attacked and are angry.

Please don't stop posting. The more intelligent people with differing viewpoints participate on this site the better off we will all be.

If someone doesn't like someone else's opinion that is their problem.

[MidwesternGirl]

"I have already made my view known that whilst other sites that are mentioned are edited out Rejoice Ministries gets free advertising continually I find that strange."

Uhmmm........there were some articles posted here recently that took one to a link to another site that had nothing to do with RM.


Does it matter? What works for one does not necessarily work for another.

And no two people have walked in the exact same shoes. It is so easy to offer advice, etc. and whether one wants to take it or read a particular post or thread is their choice. We all have the option of being able to read whichever postings or threads you want.

It is true, this is NOT a Christian slanted site. It is a forum for everyone. But to point out one's beliefs (such as how they pray, the result of the prayer) whether you agree with them or not should be respected.

[Silver Fox]

Ok, soooo, about Detaching...........