My H has described the OW as one of the "most principled people he's has ever met". (Hmmmmmmm)
He also says she's "kind & sensitive & she knows what I'm going through & it makes her feel really guilty".
I wish I could call her a skank but she's really not. She's vp of a company & has her PhD.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
She can't be too principled, she got involved with a married man.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Yes, I had to bite my tongue hard when he told me that.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Immediately following bomb, when X was sedated due to boob job surgery, I told her, "I know OM is as disposable as a disposable lighter" (she used to be a smoker).
SHE NODDED IN AGREEMENT.
Enough said.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Hi Mermaid - You put it so well. Glad to see you're still posting. I've missed you and so many on the site.
Naej and others - Ironically Naej and I have had go-arounds with parts of what was discussed here. Today no matter how often I E-mail her or hear from her, she is still a dear friend. We have shared hurts - even from each other - but certainly in our real lives from others. We live around the world from each other, but she and so many other posters have become good friends. That's a big part of why I posted for so long and still catch up at times.
My point in telling this is that people here and in real life have differences - maybe due to misunderstanding, a bad day or just because they don't agree at the moment. But, just as in the marriages we are all here for, our relationships here need to be healed and forgiven if offense is taken.
I have never withheld my religious views about marriage or many other things and still feel free to take the chance to evangalize my Catholic Christian faith. God gave us eternal souls - then he gave us rules to follow while we used them from our earthly bodies while we are here. Most of the rules are contained in the Natural Law - essentially our consciences. No matter what faith, or lack thereof, a person claims to be or not be, we really all pretty much know the rules. Those who don't or don't care are according to mental health experts in some way psychopaths. Simplistic and there's more to it, but basically correct.
When our spouses chose to commit adultery, or pursue addictions or abuse - they were ignoring all the warnings. Whether or not they follow the Bible, they really know - just don't care. See above.
Jesus Christ told us he hates divorce. Some of us follow our vows for a lifetime based on His teachings. We made a vow - entered into the Sacrament of Marriage and despite what "worse" things our spouses commit, we are still bound by the vows.
I don't care whether people think I am "stuck" or not - whether they think I should "move on" or not. People who deceive themselves they are happier than we who chose to stand - or to follow Christ's teachings - often find another person to "heal" them. Why commit the same sin of either fornication or adultery as our misery-making spouses did? Life is short and Christ has promised us we will face judgement when we die. I'd rather suffer now - although I don't show that all the time - than live for eternity in hell. How can people ignore the very temporary nature of life by pretending we can do almost anything and still get to heaven?
Michele has attempted to save marriages - to avoid divorce. She is doing a good thing in that whether for religious reasons or not. God should be part of every human beings very existence - on a daily basis. There can be no discussions that leave God out and have any rationality.
Happiness should be converted to JOY - having priorities: 1) Jesus 2) Others and 3) Yourself.
It's something about not wanting to grow up - about wanting to be a teenager again. And we have to deal with them on that level or become a teenager ourselves to attract them back?
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
It's something about not wanting to grow up - about wanting to be a teenager again. And we have to deal with them on that level or become a teenager ourselves to attract them back?
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
It's something about not wanting to grow up - about wanting to be a teenager again. And we have to deal with them on that level or become a teenager ourselves to attract them back?
We deal with them as an adult deals with a teenager. We don't go down to their level, we stay strong.
How are you? I've just been reading through this post shaking my head and about to quit out of it I was so frustrated - when I saw your beautiful post.
I love how balanced and caring you are in whatever you write.
Blessings to you, I do hope you are well.
Virginia
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
