Detaching

[brandnewday]

SilverFox,

You don't need to worry about whether or not you will stop loving your Husband right now, just learn how to detach from the BS and see what happens.

You will begin to feel better.

You will begin to live again.

You will begin to see things as they truly are and not through rose colored glasses.

Begin to work on yourself, and leave your Husband to deal with his own issues on his own.

Pray for him.

Love him from a distance.

[Silver Fox]

Since I'm new here I don't mean to be funny but does BS mean betrayed spouse or bull sh..? I guess it works either way!

Anyway, certainly there's jealousy that I'm trying to detach from too. He's living walking distance from his job - I commute 35 minutes one way. He gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants - I'm at the house taking care of bills & animals. I'm here on a Saturday night - he's with his OW.

Difficult detachment assignment!

[sleeper]

Ah, you would be the LBS (left behind spouse) and what you are seeing, hearing and experiencing is the BS (bullsh*t).

Sorry you're "new here" but you are in the right place.

I already sense you have a great sense of humor! That's half the battle won!

Can you relocate a few animals to his place while he's out with OW?

[Silver Fox]

Ok then, thank you for clearing that up. I'm the LBS dealing with lots of BS from the MLC H & the newly D OW.

Speaking of animals - she has 12 cats & he's allergic. More proof that MLCers really are out of their minds!

[Imageer]

I commute 35 minutes one way. He gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants - I'm at the house taking care of bills & animals. I'm here on a Saturday night - he's with his OW.

This was exactly my W when she first left. Before the bomb she desparately wanted a cat. After the bomb she became a partier and wanted nothing to do with the responsibility of having a cat. she told me that I was to keep it (I didn't want it) or she would give it away. I told her that D5 would be crushed if she gave it away but she didn't really care. She did end up taking the kids fish which she recently killed off. This from a woman that use to cry at the site of road kill or if an animal got hurt in a movie. Ironically, OW moved in with 2 cats and most recently brought a high-strung mutt of a dog home from the pound. W didn't look impressed

[Imageer]

she has 12 cats & he's allergic

12 cats???? I couldn't imagine the smell.

It's interesting the people that they choose to associate with. W use to hate the smell of cigarette smoke. If she was out with someone that smoked she would come home, shower and wash her clothes. Now OW is a smoker.

I think that they choose the first person that will have them. (a match made in heaven)

Maybe that's the secret to detaching.... You need to realize how crazy they are and how much their actions have nothing to do with you.

[Silver Fox]

Maybe they should name the dog KARMA.

[Imageer]

It makes me smile when I'm on the phone with W or the kids and I can hear W yelling at the dog to get off her. She sounds so happy. (more sarcasm)

I hate hyper dogs that jump up on you.

[Silver Fox]

Yes, somewhere in one of the 2000 books that I've read it says that they tend to choose someone more neurotic than they are at the moment.

[Imageer]

I think just about everyone on here that is dealing with an OP (other person) has pointed out that the OP is below the MLCer.

As much as it hurts, they are not worth giving much thought to. By their very nature, they are people of low morals and questionable character. They are just a function of the turmoil that the MLCer is going through.