I don't care whether people think I am "stuck" or not - whether they think I should "move on" or not. People who deceive themselves they are happier than we who chose to stand - or to follow Christ's teachings - often find another person to "heal" them.
AMEN to that !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I don't care whether people think I am "stuck" or not - whether they think I should "move on" or not. People who deceive themselves they are happier than we who chose to stand - or to follow Christ's teachings - often find another person to "heal" them.
AMEN to that !
And herein lies the problem... Why does it have to be that those people are "deceiving" themselves that they are happier? Maybe they are happier. Who are any of us to say?
Some standers are happy, some who move on are happy. Why does this have to be a question of right or wrong? It seems like all of this got started over a simple suggestion that if you are standing YET MISERABLE perhaps you need to do something else, or actually try some of the advice that is given here.
I for one am tired of backing down everytime someone pulls out the Jesus card. I have my beliefs, too- it isn't that I don't have them. I still stand for my marriage though divorced. However, no where in the DB books does faith come into play. It is about changing you to change your relationship.
I am really disappointed in the turn this board has taken for some time now. It used to be a safe and happy place to be. Now there is all sorts of bickering and side-taking and backstabbing. What a shame.
For you that are strong in your beliefs, good for you. Standing or not standing...whatever you choose. It is your life and your job to make yourself happy. If you are going to put your life on this board and then get offended when people point out some unhealthy tendencies, then perhpas you are in the wrong place. If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times: The stuff that people say that is bothersome to you is probably the stuff you really should examine.
And now I am off to examine why I even care that people I don't even know are attacking me on a board that I come to in an effort to say, "hey, I've been there...and these are the mistakes I made that I want to prevent YOU from making."
I personally believe that blond haired, blue eyed women are prone to lying, having adulterous affairs, ending long standing marriages, and leaving their children before they are grown.
You won't find me asking blond haired, blue eyed women to go find their own websites though.
(....desperately hoping that ALL the blond haired, blue eyed women can recognize sarcasm...)
Blessings,
Bill
I resemble that remark....
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Would you kindly take a trip over to my thread, please? I know you visited me once to help me with the thread-linking issue. Thank you for that. I've been slapped by some for not always doing what I'm supposed to do DBing-wise, such as going dark or not initiating contact, which always is a result of my over-anxious feelings getting in the way. I'm hoping your wise words will help me "get it together" and maybe try help save my own marriage.
Thanks in advance, poet
P.S. Oh, and Brandnewday ... Thank you for your post. I can only hope that someday, I will be where you are.
I agree CMNM. I'm new here & a little surprised by these "debates".
My dad always said - never talk politics or religion at the dinner table.
This is our dinner table. Let's stay on topic.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Although I don't even know most of you nor have I written to you before, let me say that I shouldn't have used the word "happy". I should have said that people deceive themselves into thinking that you can make your own rules so that you can become what is too many people's idea of (ugh) happy. Happy is a delusion - a desired state of being that has allowed people to believe that their own intellect and ego transcend God. We'll use Him occasionally, but not - heaven forbid - when His laws go against what we think might make us happy.
Those who said the board used to be so - I guess - "religion free" - are mistaken. Somehow because of the omnipresence of God, he just keeps showing up. He has no seasons.
And please don't relegate the Christian faith to the "Jesus card". That is one of the most sacrilegeous things I've read on here.
Who said divorce-busting isn't or can't be religious? If it's ok to ignore the One who declared divorce a hated thing, sure it doesn't need to be brought up. (BTW, I am well aware that divorce in and of itself - in the civil sense - often is forced upon people. To those I offer my sincere sympathies. It's not what they wanted. It's what you do after the forced divorce that is often the problem in the Catholic Church.)
I am also sorry for those who are so afraid of what life is about that they can't ever discuss religion or politics. I would amend that nonsense to say it would be best if those who are ignorant just listen. Bad advice from a parent remains bad advice. Not that I'm advocating out-and-out arguing - just discussion.
I'm an older person, have watched many people pass out of this world. I work on a committee at my church that handles funerals. As I sit at the Mass and listen to the spouse and parent eulogized, I pray harder than ever that God will hear my prayers for my husband and others like him. How on earth will my sons and I sit and bury this man if he dies now? The way we treat our loved ones is important - sin is sin. How can one ignore what will happen at the end of life?
Maybe I can help someone with my views. Hope so and I think the topic is all too urgent for any of us to avoid.
Keep the faith and stay with your heart. God can do amazing things. What an honor to think that my post helped you. This is one of the most awful things a person can go through in this life and we need His help and the help and love of everyone in our lives. (Not that everyone wants to help...)
I'm ok - trying hard to be a person who stands not only for my marriage but my beliefs without antagonizing half the world. It's a tricky balance. I struggle all the time with my self-improvement and have since I started here all those years ago.
It's so helpful to see how others are handling things or to be able to help them.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
I'm so happy that your marriage is still back together. You deserve so much happiness!! It's bound to be tough re-adjusting, but if you could live through that 3000-mile separation with that large family, you can do this. Can you imagine what a great example your patience and faith have meant to all those who have watched this unfold? God must be so pleased with you.
We all need to hear that it can work and you did it! Stay strong - keep the faith and don't let the little stuff matter. (Easy for me to say...)
