a lot of times couples seem to loose themselves in the R. they become dependant on their partner to define their identity rather than continuing to be the person that God made them, the person that their spouce fell in love with. i think that that is why some find ot so hard to truley detach. i know that was a huge issue for me..... probably my ex also as she found someone who on the surface was similiar to me(but there can be only one!!!!) i can't really give advice on truley detaching, truth is i walked around with bitterness and unforgivness for 3 years. what i can tell you is that the baggage will kill your life.....especially when the walk away isn't detached either, and most probably never will be.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
That did make sense, how did you get to the point that your H didn't consume your every thought? That is my problem now, I can't seem to get him out of my mind.
(((HUGS)))
nlt:
I honestly think this takes a long time. At first you are in shock about the A, then you are so numb to it all, and yes, it does consume your mind, your every waking moment. Then you become angry...............
It took me almost a year to get somewhat past this but it did take me almost two years from the time I discovered the A to give this to God to deal with, let go of the anger, forgive, love unconditionally and to zip my lips.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
It was truly a gradual thing. Once I found things to keep busy and not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I got there. You are doing fine. This all takes so much time, but you will get there.
